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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Too stupid for his pants
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Q. How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A. Four: one to climb the ladder, one to hold the ladder, one to shake the ladder and one to sue the ladder company.

I can safely die now, for I have seen everything.

A former Administrative Judge in Washington D.C. is suing his cleaners for $65 Million dollars over a pair of lost trousers.  He has been pursuing this case for the past ten years.

$65M lawsuit over lost pants

Washington judge suing after store lost trousers taken in for alterations

A missing pair of pants has led to one big suit.

A customer got so steamed when a dry cleaner lost his trousers that he sued for $65 million (U.S.). Two years later, he is still pressing his suit.

The case has demoralized the South Korean immigrant owners and brought demands that the customer – an administrative law judge in Washington – be disbarred and removed from office for pursuing a frivolous and abusive claim.

“They’re out a lot of money, but more importantly, incredibly disenchanted with the system,” said Chris Manning, lawyer for the owners. “This has destroyed their lives.”

The customer, Roy Pearson Jr., who has been representing himself, declined to comment.

According to court documents, the problem began in May 2005 when Pearson became a judge and brought several suits for alterations to Custom Cleaners in Washington. A pair of pants from one suit was missing when he requested it two days later.

Pearson asked the cleaners for the full price of the suit: more than $1,000.

But a week later, the owners said the pants had been found and refused to pay. Pearson said those were not his pants and decided to sue.

Manning said the cleaners have made three settlement offers to Pearson: $3,000, then $4,600, then $12,000.

But Pearson was not satisfied and expanded his calculations beyond one pair of pants. Because he no longer wanted to use his local dry cleaner, he asked in his lawsuit for $15,000 – the cost of renting a car every weekend for 10 years to go to another business.

The bulk of the $65 million demand comes from Pearson’s strict interpretation of Washington consumer protection law, which imposes fines of $1,500 per violation, per day. Pearson counted 12 violations over 1,200 days, then multiplied that by three defendants.

Much of Pearson’s case rests on two signs Custom Cleaners once had on its walls: “Satisfaction Guaranteed” and “Same Day Service.” He claims the signs amount to fraud.

There is more on this story along with the idiotstick’s contact information if you really feel you need to reach out and tell him what you think.

39 Responses to “Too stupid for his pants”
  1. Princess Natasha Comment by Princess Natasha

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    DJ, I thought I’ve seen it all… But you just had to dig up this particular golden nugget of insanity. I do not know whether to laugh at the absurdity of this matter, or to be angry that idiocy like this is allowed to be taken seriously by anyone. I think I shall go tell the dumbass what I think.

  2. LC SkyeChild Comment by LC SkyeChild

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    Have to blame the judge here, too. He should just tell Mr. I Want My Pants Back to get out of his courtroom, or he’d be held in contempt.

    Too bad that Korean couple didn’t take their case to Judge Judy. THAT would have been worth watching. She’d have ripped the pant-LOSER to shreds.

    OT: Wow. Did the heartland get hit with a HUGE storm system last night. I’ve lived here my whole life, and I’ve seen very few as nasty as this one. Some tornadoes in Iowa (nothing bad), but BIG lightning, HUGE thunder, and over 4 inches of rain in places.

  3. juandos Comment by juandos

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    Hmmm, I wonder if this Roy Pearson Jr clown is a member or has contributed to American Assn for Justice (a.k.a. Association of Trial Lawyers of America)?

  4. Haverwilde Comment by Haverwilde

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    I just wish that crap like this judge only existed in Washington, Democratic Citadel. This scum sucking low life is just a prime example of the demonic spawn of the trial lawyers coven.

  5. DJ Allyn,  ITW Comment by DJ Allyn, ITW

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Uh, I just looked at this story a little closer, and it appears that the clown is a little math challenged also:

    According to court documents, the problem began in May 2005 when Pearson became a judge and brought several suits for alterations to Custom Cleaners in Washington. A pair of pants from one suit was missing when he requested it two days later.

    May of 2005, right? Then how the hell did he come up with this:

    But Pearson was not satisfied and expanded his calculations beyond one pair of pants. Because he no longer wanted to use his local dry cleaner, he asked in his lawsuit for $15,000 – the cost of renting a car every weekend for 10 years to go to another business.

    He no longer wanted to use his local dry cleaner? So what, he decided that he needed to drive out of town for a cleaner?

    Initially, he asked the cleaners for $1000 — the cost of the suit, even though it was only the trousers that were missing. But since then, the Mannings made three offers of up to twelve times what he was initially asking — and he refused.

    Apparently the judge in this case isn’t amused. I just found the local story:

    The $67 million pair of pants?

    It seems attorney Roy Pearson Jr. is trying to dictate who wears the pants in the courtroom.

    The Fort Lincoln resident - who serves as a DC administrative law judge - claims his neighborhood dry cleaner owes him big-time for allegedly losing a pair of his suit pants in May 2005. But instead of accepting the $12,000 in compensation proffered by the owners of Custom Cleaners on Bladensburg Road, Pearson opted to go to DC Superior Court for what he’s assured will be a large payoff in punitive damages.

    At a June 11-12 non-jury trial, Associate Judge Judith Bartnoff will decide if the pants presented as evidence indeed belong to Pearson. If not, Pearson could be entitled to the $1,450 he claims it would cost to replace the suit. If the judge finds cleaner owners Soo and Jin Nam Chung and their son Ki Y. guilty of willful and malicious behavior, Pearson might have punitive damages coming his way.

    Christopher Manning, the Chungs’ attorney, is certain the pants to be presented at the trial belong to Pearson. He maintains that Pearson is making unreasonable demands.

    “You can tell (Bartnoff) thinks it’s complete bunk,” Manning said in an interview after a March 21 hearing. “It’s incredibly preposterous that he’s making so much out of something so insignificant. He filed the case because he’s an attorney. No attorney in his right mind would take a case like this on contingency.”

    Astoundingly, Pearson, who won’t grant interviews, filed a case claiming he and other wronged customers at Custom Cleaners were due $67,292,000 for damages, mental suffering and attorney’s fees. Pearson had also claimed that the cleaners should not be allowed to display signs reading “Satisfaction Guaranteed,” “Same Day Service” and “All Work Done on Premises” because they are deceptive and fraudulent to customers.

    In November, Judge Neal Kravitz ruled that such a demand was an egregious abuse of process and a monumental waste of the court’s and the parties’ time and resources.

    “At the end of the day, this is a case about one pair of pants that either was or wasn’t fixed and was or wasn’t lost,” Bartnoff said at the March 21 hearing, echoing Kravitz’s initial ruling. “All that’s relevant is, ‘Are these pants yours or not?’”

    Pearson maintains that the Chungs failed to alter his pants by May 5, 2005, after he dropped them off May 3. He claims they substituted a different pair of pants that didn’t match his suit jacket.

    During the hearing, Bartnoff became increasingly frustrated with Pearson’s interruptions and litany of special requests. For instance, she told him he would be able to call only four witnesses from the list of 50-plus he submitted.

    “The witness list is enormously disturbing,” she said, adding that their complaints regarding Custom Cleaners were way beyond the scope of the trial. “This list is so long … it’s so out of proportion to the issue in this case.”

    Bartnoff questioned how much emotional distress anybody suffered over one pair of pants and also quizzed Pearson about his request to present video at the trial supposedly showing distances he had to travel to find a dry cleaner now that he no longer used the one in his neighborhood.

    “I don’t think you have a fundamental right to have a dry cleaners within four blocks of your house,” Bartnoff said.

  6. LC HOGHEAD Comment by LC HOGHEAD

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    The judge needs to shake hands with Sheryl Crow

  7. baslimthecripple Comment by baslimthecripple

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    The lawyer jokes on the link were great. ONe of my favorites:
    Q: What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a pig?
    A: Nothing. There are some things a pig just will not do.

  8. Skul Comment by Skul

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    The story has been out for several days. It needs to be followed up at least weekly. I do wonder if a certain “John Edwards” has anything to do with it. Seems like it’s right up his alley.

  9. Emperor Misha I Comment by Emperor Misha I

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    Nice catch, Deej.

    And it bears repeating that the assclown plaintiff is himself a judge in DC. Just in case anybody is suffering under the delusion that the position of judge requires any sort of actual qualifications.

  10. Princess Natasha Comment by Princess Natasha

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    The guy is a total ass. I cannot believe a loon like this holds a position of influence.

  11. juandos Comment by juandos

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    Q: How many lawyer jokes are there?
    A: Only three. The rest are true stories.

    Q: What’s wrong with lawyer jokes?
    A: Lawyers don’t think they’re funny and other people don’t think they’re jokes.

    Q: What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?
    A: Skeet.

    Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
    A: Senator.

    Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 70?
    A: Your honor.

    Q: What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
    A: His partners.

  12. DJ Allyn,  ITW Comment by DJ Allyn, ITW

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    And it bears repeating that the assclown plaintiff is himself a judge in DC

    Was, Misha. He wasn’t reappointed. I imagine he will blame the dry cleaners for that, as well.

  13. Cheapshot911 Comment by Cheapshot911

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    the $65 million demand comes

    ..from a bullias-juris that thinks that’s how big his britches are.

    (obligatory lawyer joke)
    After an unsuccesful day hunting, the two lawyers stowed their guns, got comfy, built a campfire, and leaned back to enjoy an evening outdoors.

    A huge bear came crashing through the woods straight for them in a snarling rage.
    One of the lawyers started frantically tying on his shoes..

    “You aint gonna be able to outrun that bear, you idiot!”

    “I just gotta outrun you!”

  14. Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur Comment by Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    And it bears repeating that the assclown plaintiff is himself a judge in DC. Just in case anybody is suffering under the delusion that the position of judge requires any sort of actual qualifications.

    Administrative Law Judge, Boss. Think of the person who hears a workman’s comp or unemployment claim. They don’t have to be geniuses, they only have to know what the law says on a particular subject.

    Q: What’s wrong with lawyer jokes?
    A: Lawyers don’t think they’re funny and other people don’t think they’re jokes.

    On the contrary, I enjoy them. Espeially when the most strident lawyer joke teller ends up in my office because they are being sued. Its amazing how much the expectation of what I might do to solve the problem gets perverted.

    And math challenges aside, Deej, here in our fine state of Washington, our consumer protection act has treble damages and attorney fees as remedies. Something to chew on.

  15. Dick Comment by Dick

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    The guy’s a scumbag who need to be purged, no doubt.

  16. Cheapshot911 Comment by Cheapshot911

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    Lawyers is where I mostly get mine.
    That says something big about the concept of Grace, humility.

    In fact, lawyers sometimes have to penetrate denser material than most miners face.

    They perform more foot extractions (clients blabber)in their damage control efforts than podiatrists.

    Intuitive squirts of paperwork or phone calls averts more blazes than Smokey the Bear and all his buddies,,
    And on.

  17. Ten-Ten Comment by Ten-Ten

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    Shakespeare anyone?

  18. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    You know, in all seriousness, I hate asshats like this, and others of his ilk, for a variety of reasons, bit one has come to the forefront lately.

    I know three lawyers, one mine, one a close friend from pre-lawyer days, and BiW, whom I consider excellent human beings and a credit to their professions.

    Assholes like this make them look bad, and that bothers me.

  19. Ten-Ten Comment by Ten-Ten

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    I hear ya Crunchie. I had a lawyer who was one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. But because he was such a good human being….He wasn’t such a good lawyer. Great guy….but didn’t know how or when to go for the jugular.

  20. Lady Heather Comment by Lady Heather

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    Someone ought to take this assclown to the cleaners.

  21. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil

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    Ya see, Dave? That’s what happens when you allow a Librul to get uppity.

  22. DJ Allyn,  ITW Comment by DJ Allyn, ITW

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Ya see, Dave? That’s what happens when you allow a Librul to get uppity.

    Only 21 comments before someone established this guy was a liberal.

    Ted Bundy was a Republican, but that didn’t define him.

    No, Wil, this guy is a cork in the asshole of progress who might be a democrat. The former trumps the later.

  23. Emperor Misha I Comment by Emperor Misha I

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    I agree. This clown is an asshat, no matter what party affiliation he may claim. It’s irrelevant.

    An assclown, by any other name, would smell just as rank.

  24. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil

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    The guy was a DC Judge. Trust me, that makes him a Democrat.

    He’s an asshat, as is obvious from his actions, detailed nicely above.

    The combination makes him a liberal.

    ======

    Or maybe, I’m just extra cranky tonight.

  25. Skul Comment by Skul

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    I’m going with Juandos. Ya got a problem wit dat? Go talk to Edwards.

  26. B.C., Imperial Torturer™ Comment by B.C., Imperial Torturer™

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Ted Bundy was a Republican, but that didn’t define him.

    Hitler was a Progressive Democratic Socialist and that DID define him.

    Game. Set. Match.

    :smoke_tb:

    No matter what side of the aisle this particular fucknugget swings from, he’s a Fucknugget of Ass-tronomical Proportions™. (Although $10 will get ya’ $100 that he’s a *cough* Librul *cough* lawyer who has fought, tooth & nail, against tort reform in the past.)

  27. Spartan24 Comment by Spartan24

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    The pants that he refused were probibly his and he just wanted a lawsuit. That these poor people are getting ruined by an asshat like this is scandalous, he needs to be in jail.

  28. DJ Allyn,  ITW Comment by DJ Allyn, ITW

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Game. Set. Match.

    Maybe you misunderstood my point.

    We could spend from now until breakfast listing all of the asswipes of history and their party affiliations, and it wouldn’t mean a thing other than they were asswipes.

    BTW: like my new avatar of the month?

  29. Redeard Comment by Redeard

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    I would think if this guy was a republican, every article written about him would start with….”Republican Administrative Law Judge….”

  30. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    And Redeard nails it right out of the park.

  31. LC SkyeChild Comment by LC SkyeChild

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    DJ is right in this case. It doesn’t matter what the guy’s political affiliation is…a jerk is a jerk is a jerk. How the press (re)presents it doesn’t matter. The guy is still a jerk.

  32. Xystus Comment by Xystus

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    DJ is right in this case. It doesn’t matter what the guy’s political affiliation is…a jerk is a jerk is a jerk. How the press (re)presents it doesn’t matter. The guy is still a jerk.

    And, apparently, he has the proverbial fool for a client. :wacko_tb:

  33. LC NCLivingBrit Comment by LC NCLivingBrit

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    BTW: like my new avatar of the month?

    I’d like it a lot better if my animated gif avatar was also animated! Other than that, pretty cool….

    As for Pantsman (those have to be super-power-inducing pants to be worth that much) he’s yet more proof that it ain’t just cream that floats in the legal world.

    Not that we needed any more proof of that.

  34. Kristopher Comment by Kristopher

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    If your avatar is big enough to get resized down to 60×60, the animation frames will get dropped.

    Get an animated .gif builder, extract your frames, resize them to 60×60 yourself, make a 60×60 animated .gif with them, and your animation will be retained.

  35. Kristopher Comment by Kristopher

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    If you dump it down to 48×48, you can also use it as an icon … I use mine as a favicon for my blog.

  36. EvilFreeSmeg Comment by EvilFreeSmeg

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    This is when some “Old-West” style problem solving would be appropriate. Call the SOB out into the street and shoot the dog down

  37. DJ Allyn,  ITW Comment by DJ Allyn, ITW

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Get an animated .gif builder, extract your frames, resize them to 60×60 yourself, make a 60×60 animated .gif with them, and your animation will be retained.

    There is a pretty good online editor at Gifworks
    that will do the trick.

  38. LC NCLivingBrit Comment by LC NCLivingBrit

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    There is a pretty good online editor at Gifworks
    that will do the trick.

    Yep, it did! Thanks muchly!

  39. Unregistered Comment by CKO1986

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    I can understand being irritated about bad customer service, but $65 million strikes me as a bit excessive.