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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Another Mullah Bites the Dust
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Thanks to Sir Christopher:

KANDAHAR, Afghanistan — The Taliban’s most prominent military commander, a one-legged fighter who orchestrated an ethnic massacre and a rash of beheadings, was killed in a U.S.-led military operation in southern Afghanistan, officials said Sunday.

Finally we learn what really happened to the proverbial one-legged man who foolishly entered an ass-kicking contest.

Mullah Dadullah, a top lieutenant of Taliban leader Mullah Omar, was killed Saturday in the southern province of Helmand, said Said Ansari, the spokesman for Afghanistan’s intelligence service. NATO confirmed his death, calling it “a serious blow” to the insurgency.

What we want to know is how long it will take before his peg leg shows up on eBay.

“Mullah Dadullah was the backbone of the Taliban,” said Asadullah Khalid, governor of the former Taliban stronghold of Kandahar. “He was a brutal and cruel commander who killed and beheaded Afghan civilians.”

In other words, your typical, average adherent to the “religion of peace.”

Khalid showed Dadullah’s body to reporters at a news conference in the governor’s compound. An Associated Press reporter said the body, lying on a bed and dressed in a traditional Afghan robe, had no left leg and three bullet wounds: one to the back of the head and two to the stomach.

A pity that the headshot messed up an otherwise perfectly wonderfully painful death of a double gutshot, but we’ll take what we can get.

But Qari Yousef Ahmadi, a purported Taliban spokesman, denied that the Taliban commander had been killed.

“Mullah Dadullah is alive,” Ahmadi told AP by satellite phone. He did not give further details.

Just as alive as Osama bin Liner is, and they’ll undoubtedly prove it as soon as they can find a reasonably convincing double for Dead Dadullah too. Imagine the double’s surprise when his bosses approach him saying “by the flea-infested beard of Mohammed, you’re perfect!” and then add, pulling a hacksaw from their robes, “just one minor detail we have to take care of first.”

Yusufzai said many Taliban fighters had been unhappy with Dadullah, saying he maligned the militant group with brutal beheadings, a rash of kidnappings and boastful videos that starred himself shooting weapons and walking in Afghanistan’s mountains.

He maligned them by showing the typical, 7th century barbarian behavior that those Assholes for Allah take great pride in displaying every chance they get? Right.

“They thought he had become too big for his shoes,” Yusufzai said.

Or shoe, as it were (sorry Sir Chris, I just had to steal that one).

Since the Taliban’s ouster in late 2001, Dadullah emerged as the group’s most prominent and feared commander. He often appeared in videos and media interviews, and earlier this year predicted a militant spring offensive that has failed to materialize.

Nonsense. It did materialize. It’s just that the Talib were the ones on the receiving end of it, prompting the MSM to immediately embargo all news out of Ashcanistan. Can’t have all of those depressing reports about dead terrorists messing up Reid and Pelosi’s (and al-Qaeda’s, but we repeat ourself) carefully orchestrated propaganda efforts, now can we?

And, with this very satisfying death, the Long War’s Busted Beards Tally™ rises to within a mere 8 from the Cheerful Milestone of 4,000.

We expect the MSM to be in mourning for weeks after we hit it in the next few days.

30 Responses to “Another Mullah Bites the Dust”
  1. LC Gunsniper Comment by LC Gunsniper

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    He should have been killed for that goofy name alone.

    R(est) I(n) P(igskin)

  2. Cheapshot911 Comment by Cheapshot911

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    Pity the unfortunate folks that must handle his fetid carcass.
    ‘Hope the evil one makes good use of his new cock-holster.

  3. LC HJ Caveman82952 Comment by LC HJ Caveman82952

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Maybe a few more of these…http://dsc.discovery.com/fansites/future-weapons/weapons/zone1/corner-shot-40.html

  4. cmblake6 Comment by cmblake6

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    I still think they need to discover if it’s possible to tunnel out from beneath a huge sheet of glass.

  5. Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur Comment by Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    How long ’till we see the seething outrage???

  6. LC HJ Caveman82952 Comment by LC HJ Caveman82952

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    If we were such as they, this group would have ceased to exist a long time ago…………if we wanted them dead, one hour……..wait until they see our seething outrage…..

  7. Unregistered Comment by The Lone Haranguer

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    A new tongue-twister: Mullah Dadullah got shot in the medulla. :smile_wp:

  8. LC Old Dog Comment by LC Old Dog

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    Looks like some outfit gets a “Nice Shooting” Atta Boy. :clap_tb:

  9. Mike M Comment by Mike M

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    There once was a dude named Dadalluh,
    in the Taliban, he was a big mullah.

    He said he was in fear of no man alive
    even though for toes, his numbered but five.

    But as fate would ordain
    he took one in the brain.

    And got sent to meet his ol’ daddy Allah

  10. Sir Christopher Comment by Sir Christopher

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    and don’t miss the video footage of his carcass

  11. LC RobertHuntingdon Comment by LC RobertHuntingdon

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    Another one rides the bus, badda dum dum dum, another one rides the bus… oh wait, that’s *bites the dust* my bad…

    Either way it’s good news for freedom lovers!

    RH

  12. hitnrun Comment by hitnrun

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Just as alive as Osama bin Liner is, and they’ll undoubtedly prove it as soon as they can find a reasonably convincing double for Dead Dadullah too.

    It’s sad that bin Laden will be forever remembered as having defied and escaped America. Our soldiers are never going to “catch” him unless they can match a DNA sample with stains on a wall some day, and that would never satisfy the morons and truthers anyway.

    The jihadis- the few still alive who would know- have no interest in telling us that he’s dead. The Western media has no interest in accepting that he’s dead, because if he were that would be an anti-climactic ending that reflects well on Bush. The Arab media has no interest in exposing the death of their champion and bogeyman of America. The C”I”A has no interest in admitting their analysts were incompetent or part of a groundswell of agency squatters who tried to overthrow Bush for daring to try to reform the American intelligence network. The government in general has no interest in the personified target of the global war ending up dead as of five years ago. Pakistan and Afghanistan have no interest in letting the truth whip their peaceful, erudite citizens into a theological frenzy. Etc.

    A forensic matter has become stymied by political interests, and as a result bin Laden will likely “live” on long after I’ve died.

    We hardly knew ye, Osama. And we would have liked to know you a lot better.

    A lot better.

  13. Unregistered Comment by Lupos87

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    But Qari Yousef Ahmadi, a purported Taliban spokesman, denied that the Taliban commander had been killed.

    “Mullah Dadullah is alive,” Ahmadi told AP by satellite phone. He did not give further details.

    Yeah, didn’t they say that about Zarqawi too, before his fucked up face was broadcast to the world? Why do these assholes even bother denying this shit?!?

  14. Unregistered Comment by demonicgerbil

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    In unrelated news…

    http://www.cnn.com/2007/EDUCATION/05/13/faked.attack.ap/index.html

  15. Xystus Comment by Xystus

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    Yeah, it’s too easy to play with this.

    “Mullah Duhdullah? Whatthehullah?!

  16. Zucca Fett Comment by Zucca Fett

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Indeed, the MSM will probably cry a river for the fallen terrorists.

    What so many people have forgotten these days, is that a culture’s teachings, and most importantly, the nature of its people, achieve definition in conflict. They find themselves… or find themselves lacking.

    In this case, people like us find people like the Dhimmicrats, the Liberals, the media and those who cover their ears and hope the bad things will all go away, completely lacking.

    A hundred years ago, America was a nation content to be left alone in the grand scheme. That is, until Lucitania was attacked. The world learned what America is capable of during conflict with others, and it’s reputation as a superpower began to form. Now however, the misguided attempts at peace have been steadily making the proud America a mockery of her former self.

    People like that should be pitied, insofar as a lifeform too inconceivably foolish to justifiably sustain itself can be pitied.

  17. ScottG Comment by ScottG

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    I guess that’s what happens when you’re a one legged man in an ass kicking contest….

  18. Unregistered Comment by mindy1

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    As much as I don’t normally celebrate deaths of people, i’ll make an exception here. :thumbup_tb:

  19. juandos Comment by juandos

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    Pogo stick Dadullah takes one for the team… :lol_wp:

  20. DJM Comment by DJM

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    How did he lose his leg? Was it a punishment for a crime or some non-Sharia related amputation?

    Just curious.

    Dadullah is, no doubt, burning in hell. A Sower of Discord. My only regret is that scum like Dadullah die a much too peaceful death. If there were any justice in the world, he would have drown in a vat of pig blood or been eaten by Hannibal-style flesh eating hogs.

  21. Unregistered Pingback by Inoperable Terran » Got one

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    […] top Taliban military commander is in line waiting for virgins (I hear Allah ran out). Posted by Ian S. […]

  22. Cheapshot911 Comment by Cheapshot911

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    How did he lose his leg?

    The russian ordinance arrived before he could depart.
    Afghan’ in the 80’s.

  23. Cheapshot911 Comment by Cheapshot911

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    I hear ya Mindy1

    As much as I don’t normally celebrate deaths of people

    You still haven’t broken your very admirable rule, y’see, these subhumans forfeited any right to be called, respected as, or even to live among “people”.

    Party hearty, sleep good.

    The world is a tad better today.

  24. Radical Redneck Comment by Radical Redneck

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    The russian ordinance arrived before he could depart.

    CS, are you saying he lost his leg through a commie gubmint decree? :ponder_tb: :wink1_tb:

  25. jaybear Comment by jaybear

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    Cheapshot911 sez:

    You still haven’t broken your very admirable rule, y’see, these subhumans forfeited any right to be called, respected as, or even to live among “people”.

    They don’t even qualify as subhumans, I’ve seen rodents behave more civilly.

    you’re right though, the world is a bit more peaceful today with the elimination of this “thing

    Dadullah fubar!!! :guns_tb:

  26. B.C., Imperial Torturer™ Comment by B.C., Imperial Torturer™

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    “Doodullah” has a lot nicer ring to it… Means “Worm of Allah”.

    :roflmao_wp:

  27. Wild-Eyed Charlie Comment by Wild-Eyed Charlie

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    Somebody KILLED Magilla Gorilla!?! Aw SH!T !!! That was my favorite cartoon when I was growing up!

    Oh wait…false alarm. Too much dust on my monitor. Whew…

  28. MegaTroopX Comment by MegaTroopX

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    Mullah mullah dadullah
    banana-fana fo fulla…

    Sorry, couldn’t be helped.

  29. MegaTroopX Comment by MegaTroopX

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    “Doodullah” has a lot nicer ring to it… Means “Worm of Allah”

    Aaaand…now I need monitor wipes.