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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Finally, Offsets for Dumb People
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Are you a liberal and are you tired of your sane acquaintances making fun of your insanely contradictory positions? Do those annoying conservatives harsh your mellow with their irritating logic and consistency? Do you tire of having your crazy rants about BusHitler invading Iraq for oil interrupted by some Evil HalliburtBot pointing out the current gas price at the pump? Does everybody start laughing when you suggest that Bush brought down the WTC with the most insanely complicated conspiracy in the history of insanely complicated conspiracies, yet somehow failed to “plant” a few WMDs in Saddam’s palaces?

Well then, if that’s the case, this product is for you.

Armed with one of those, you can hold any pathologically insane view you can think of and, should one of those Evil Right Wing Death Beasts (or anybody else with an ounce of sense) start giving you a hard time, just shove it in their faces and say “HA! I’ve got my Liberal Offsets!”

But wait, there’s more: For a limited time, each purchase at the low-low price of $5.00 will give you four additional Liberal Offsets for abso-blipping-lutely FREE. Quintuple your insanity, claim that fire never melted steel, howl that the beams from Rove’s mindray satellites are penetrating your tinfoil hat, the sky’s the limit!

Don’t delay, get yours today!

25 Responses to “Finally, Offsets for Dumb People”
  1. LC Gunsniper Comment by LC Gunsniper

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    :lol_wp: :lol_wp: :lol_wp:

    (Why am I not surprised that it can be found on eBay?)

  2. juandos Comment by juandos

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Oh damn!…. :roflmao_wp:

    I’ve got to order up a few of these for some of the local morons I know…

  3. Unregistered Comment by Pam-IWT

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Too flippin’ funny!

  4. Unregistered Comment by Admiral of the Imperial Seventh Fleet

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Folks, in case nobody has made the connection yet, this is being offered by noen other than I, Kender, Admiral of the Imperial Seventh Fleet.

    Get yours today.

  5. juandos Comment by juandos

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Good on you Admiral Kender! Bravo sir!… :clap_tb:

    Hey Admiral Kender, do you think these offsets would sell in Euro-Weasel land?

    From the Jerusalem Post: Thirty-nine percent of Europeans believe Jews have too much power in the business world, while 44% think Jews have too much power in international financial markets, according to the results of a survey published by the Anti-Defamation League (ADL) on Monday…

  6. Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur Comment by Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Do not encourage them.

  7. Unregistered Comment by MatCauthon

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    The American people would go bankrupt trying to buy enough offsets for Congress. Maybe we can think of a cheaper solution…

  8. Dick Comment by Dick

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    They should have sold out by now.

  9. LC SkyeChild Comment by LC SkyeChild

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Evil HalliburtBot pointing out the current gas price at the pump?

    Speaking of which, they went stark raving bonkers when gas prices went up over 3 dollars with the REPUBLICANS at the helm. It’s a democrat(ick) congress now, gas prices are even HIGHER, and not a peep out of the loony left? Hypocrites!

  10. L.C. Mope, Imperial Offsetter Comment by L.C. Mope, Imperial Offsetter

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    I OBJECT, yer honor! This here feller Kender is stepping on my toes! The Offset business was my personal property! I demand you cease and desist!

    BlackisWhite will be my mouthpiece and will be serving the papers, post haste!

    Meanwhile, I’ll be fitting Kender for Concrete Shoes!

    *grumble,grumble…harumph*

  11. cmblake6 Comment by cmblake6

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Speaking of which, they went stark raving bonkers when gas prices went up over 3 dollars with the REPUBLICANS at the helm. It’s a democrat(ick) congress now, gas prices are even HIGHER, and not a peep out of the loony left? Hypocrites!

    :roflmao_wp: :jittery_tb: :lol_wp:

  12. Princess Natasha Comment by Princess Natasha

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Quick! I need some offsets for when I go commie-bowling using a Humvee. Print ‘em up!!

  13. sig94 Comment by sig94

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Do you have any of these offsets in lead? I’d like to use them on those teachers in TN.

  14. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Admiral Kinder, and Yer Imperial Majesty:

    Thanks. I needes a good laugh!

    :lol_tb:

  15. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    What? I’m AWOL for a couple of weeks, and now I’m in moderation again?

    Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot, over?

  16. Merc Comment by Merc

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    If it makes you feel any better Mope,
    faggot faggot faggot faggot faggot faggot faggot faggot faggot faggot faggot faggot faggot faggot faggot faggot faggot faggot faggot faggot faggot faggot faggot faggot.
    How much do I owe you?

    Anyway… I love it, Admiral, keep up the good work.
    :lol_tb: :clap_tb: :thumbup_tb:

  17. Emperor Misha I Comment by Emperor Misha I

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    What? I’m AWOL for a couple of weeks, and now I’m in moderation again?

    Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot, over?

    Akismet has been a bit hyper lately, after it had finally settled down. I don’t know what’s up with that, really, unless it’s somebody messing around with the database it uses.

  18. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Either Dave, Spats or BC is rolling on the floor somewhere…

  19. Sir Guido Cabrone, LC, Master of Parody Comment by Sir Guido Cabrone, LC, Master of Parody

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    The American people would go bankrupt trying to buy enough offsets for Congress. Maybe we can think of a cheaper solution…

    Cor-Bon .45 ACP, cheap at two bucks a congresscritter…

  20. Unregistered Comment by Draven32

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Folks, in case nobody has made the connection yet, this is being offered by noen other than I, Kender, Admiral of the Imperial Seventh Fleet.

    Admiral,

    I hope that the enterprise is very profitable and all profits either go toward gas for an SUV, or ammunition for an ‘assault weapon’.

    Jus’ sayin.

  21. Unregistered Comment by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Either Dave, Spats or BC is rolling on the floor somewhere…

    Only rolling on the floor I’m  doing is with…um…wait…I’m not supposed to tell you guys ’bout that… 

  22. Unregistered Comment by Special Ed

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Only rolling on the floor I’m doing is with…um…wait…I’m not supposed to tell you guys ’bout that…

    Oh, don’t you leave it up to our imaginations, Your Majesty, you know how we common knaves love to embellish!

  23. Cheapshot911 Comment by Cheapshot911

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    OT,but fine entertainment:

    Neil Boortz rapid-fires reality to mealymouthedmuzzy.

    ‘Almost needed a cigarette after that, an I don’t even smoke!

    Caller “Will” should have invested in an offset before dialing that number!

  24. LC R.L. Hunter Comment by LC R.L. Hunter

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Get your carbon debits here

  25. LC Scott Comment by LC Scott

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    finally a credit I can use.