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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » “Got Run Over By a Bus One Day…”
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Thanks to LC Ned for this heartwarming story:

[A 42-year-old thief] snatched a $2,000 gold chain from the Bronx jewelry store on Friday and was making his getaway [on his bicycle]. A store clerk and two bystanders were chasing the man on foot…

“You’ll never catch me alive, bastards!”

…when he pedaled into an intersection and was hit by a fast-moving bus, police said.

He obviously didn’t think that traffic laws applied to him either.

The suspect was taken to a hospital, where he died from head injuries.

Downside: The damage to the bus.
Upside: The savings from not having to try and incarcerate the stupid goblin.

“He lost his life for $2,000,” said the store’s owner, Lakhwinder Singh. “He’d sell it for maybe only two or three hundred. That makes no sense.”

Hey! You forgot the crime of running a red light! Dammit, man, details matter!

24 Responses to ““Got Run Over By a Bus One Day…””
  1. Unregistered Comment by NR Pax

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Damn, I am just in shock at you for making fun of this tragedy. Think of the poor mechanic who has to spend those long hours repairing the damage caused by this waste of cells.

  2. Unregistered Comment by mindy1

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    At leaset it saves the expense of a trial

  3. LC Gunsniper Comment by LC Gunsniper

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    I like it when the garbage takes itself out.

  4. LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR Comment by LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Think of the poor mechanic who has to spend those long hours repairing the damage caused by this waste of cells.

    Nahhh….He’ll get the union rate for a few minutes with the pressure washer. Besides NYTA, IIRC has a automated bus wash. Just add an extra rinse cycle.

    He obviously didn’t think that traffic laws applied to him either.

    As well as the concepts of inertia (1/2 mV squared…can hurt) and vector addition.

    I move, he receives the Darwin Award with Sir Isaac Newton clusters.

    So…. do we call for bans on bicycles or buses or both?

  5. Princess Natasha Comment by Princess Natasha

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    Heh! Darwin Akbar, indeed!!

  6. Dick Comment by Dick

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    This calls for a pressure washer, and a cold beer.

  7. Unregistered Pingback by Darwin Akbar!! « Camo Kitty

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    […] I (damn, my fingers are tired from typing all these titles!) brings us a heart-warming story of a dumbass voluntarily removing himself from the gene pool, thus making the average IQ on this planet to rise […]

  8. Sir Christopher Comment by Sir Christopher

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    hope the bike wasn’t damaged too badly.

    i like these kinds of stories almost as much as the ones about pali on pali violence.

  9. Muzzy Comment by Muzzy

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    How long do you reckon it’ll be before gold chains come with health warnings?

  10. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

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    Bus Free Zones! We need Bus Free Zones! Write your CongressCritter today!

  11. Princess Natasha Comment by Princess Natasha

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    Still laughing at the dumbass

  12. TJ's Anti-Contrarian Blog Comment by TJ's Anti-Contrarian Blog

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    I can’t believe the callous treatment of this poor destitute young man who only wanted to feed his family!!!

    This is what’s wrong with America today! Heartless disregard for the poor. He only wanted to touch nice things for once in his life (channeling Celine Dion) .

    Hillary in 2008 C.E.!!!

  13. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    “dum
    dum
    dum
    Another one bite the dust
    dum
    dum
    dum
    Another one bites the dust
    And another one gone, and another one gone,
    Another one bites the dust.”

  14. Rurik Comment by Rurik

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    Two week waiting period to buy a bicycle?

  15. Unregistered Comment by Cheryl

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    How long do you reckon it’ll be before gold chains come with health warnings?

    The goblin’s family will probably sue the store for making so easy to steal the chain.

    WAY TO GO NYCMTA! Took out a thief AND a crazed bike rider! A two-fer-one.

  16. Sir Guido Cabrone, LC, M.o.P. Comment by Sir Guido Cabrone, LC, M.o.P.

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Keep the bugs off yer glass, And the idjits off yer buumper…

  17. LC HJ Caveman82952 Comment by LC HJ Caveman82952

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    Ain’t natural selection a royal bitch?

  18. Skul Comment by Skul

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Cheryl pretty much hit the truth of the matter.
    Shame is, they will probably collect millions for the “unjust” loss of life.

  19. Unregistered Comment by JonB

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    Sadly I feel our government and it’s non-amnesty amnesty crap is just like the thief. We just need a bus.

  20. Michael Comment by Michael

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    NYC Busses: 1
    My Guns: 0

    Wow…

  21. LC NCLivingBrit Comment by LC NCLivingBrit

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    I actually feel sort of sorry for the bus driver, no-one wants to run over anyone by accident……

    Let’s hope he’s one of us, as his feelings of guilt will likely vanish once the nature of his new slice of street pizza came to light :)

  22. Unregistered Comment by allen29palms

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    And God and the devil both sit snickering over this one! Who says they don’t play craps?

  23. Ten-Ten Comment by Ten-Ten

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    Warm and fuzzy.

    Ya gotta love when idiots Darwin out.

    “Thinning the herd, One idjit at a time.”

  24. Ten-Ten Comment by Ten-Ten

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    Oh….”And the wages of sin are death.”

    He should’ve gone to Sunday school.