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It Really IS the Religion of Piss!
Posted by: Emperor Misha I in Funny Shit, Religion of Piss1:55 PM
So the well-known terrorist front organization (now with 90% less members) can forget about “hate crimes”, we’re just stating fact:
In his book Religion and Life – Modern Everyday Fatwas, Egyptian Mufti Dr. Ali Gum’a wrote that the companions of the Prophet Muhammad would bless themselves by drinking his urine, and described an incident of urine-drinking from a hadith: “Umm Ayman drank the urine of the Prophet, and the prophet told her: ‘This stomach will not be dragged through the fire of Hell, because it contains something of our Lord the Messenger of Allah…’
Henceforth, Mohammed (His Own Piss Be Upon Him) shall be known as Golden Shower Mo’™.
So, is a concentrated morning piss more sacred than a diluted, binge-induced beer flush?
“This blessing,” Al-Gum’a added, “[can also] be done with the honorable saliva, sweat, hair, urine or blood of the Prophet. This is because anyone who knows the love of the Messenger of Allah is not repulsed [by these];
Anybody familiar with the Basics of Hygiene, on the other hand…
just as a mother is not repulsed by the feces of her son,
Nor does she necessarily smear herself with it or eat it… Well, at least not this side of the 7th century.
this is even more so [in the case of] our Lord the Messenger of Allah, whom we love more than our fathers, sons, and wives. Anyone who was or is repulsed by the Messenger of Allah must recant his faith.”
“Decant the piss or recant your faith!”
Are these pervs trying to make us laugh ourselves utterly silly, or are they just born that way?
Entries (RSS)
First !!!
Noticeably absent is another bodily fluid. I assume that was reserved for the livestock and male followers of Golden Shower Mo’™
June 12th, 2007 at 2:13 PMUsing
Thans a bunch Sire.
June 12th, 2007 at 2:27 PMI nearly laughed my ass off (pardon my french). Even the Monty Pythons could not make this up.
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BTW and OT but while I’m on it. Please do sign:
June 12th, 2007 at 2:34 PMUsing
Laughing my ass of Sire
:::can’t to laughing::::
June 12th, 2007 at 2:44 PMUsing
“Anyone who was or is repulsed by the Messenger of Allah must recant his faith.”
I’m repulsed to the point of barfing. Hey, there’s another one they can swallow.
June 12th, 2007 at 2:52 PMGood grief those people are sick in the head.
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Sorry as I am seemingly to thick to insert a link I have to trouble you to copy and paste:
June 12th, 2007 at 2:56 PMhttp://www.petitiononline.com/stopucu/petition.html“
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Either that, or that blessing is just for six year old girls. You know, his “wives”.
June 12th, 2007 at 3:30 PMUsing
Islam never misses an opportunity to insult ITSELF!! (and blame the joooos
June 12th, 2007 at 3:33 PMUsing
LC JackBoot, you beat me to it. Yeah, you right! These idiots are so deep into this cult insanity, they don’t have a clue how completely crazy and stupid it’s making them. Can you say “neutron bomb”? Sure, you can.
June 12th, 2007 at 3:34 PMUsing
Cool! I can now call them piss drinkers instead of goat fuckers without fear of a defamation suit.
June 12th, 2007 at 5:17 PMUsing
And these filthy fucktards won’t drink alcohol or eat pork…
The Prophet’s Piss®: Made From The Juice of 72 Raisins!™
Medina Morning Dew®: Start Your Day The Pedophile Way!
Mad Mo’s Meccan Mudflapjacks®: Bow Down To The Heavenly AssButter Flavor!
June 12th, 2007 at 5:21 PMUsing
Now I know why I always called ‘em little pissants…
June 12th, 2007 at 5:24 PMUsing
And why the mullahs wanna stay in the 7th Century.
All those “pee-ons”.
June 12th, 2007 at 6:22 PMUsing
There was another edict issued in Egypt that declared, and I shit you not, that a muslim woman can’t work with unrelated males unless they all suck her tits. Which I think is kinda neat.
June 12th, 2007 at 6:27 PMUsing
,,or love dogs, respect women, free their slaves,,wipe their ass’s.. long long looong list of very important reasons to vote ‘em RTF off the planet.
June 12th, 2007 at 6:32 PMUsing
“Is it in you?”
Shaped, pressed and blessed by the Mad Mullas’ very own buttocks!
June 12th, 2007 at 6:37 PMUsing
They’re like a bunch of kids sitting around trying to prove they love a rockstar more than the other guy! Imagine, drinking piss? I thought they were savages for killing for allah (may piss stay inside him)….. now they want to guzzle his urine? You know what will happen, they’ll chicken out, and hide behind women while THEY drink the piss.
June 12th, 2007 at 6:53 PMTheir holy grail must be in the shape of a bedpan….hey, maybe THAT’s why there are no urinals at mecca! They all pray facing mecca ’cause they can’t ‘go’ while we’re watching…
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. . . * sigh *
.
.
I was gonna try and find something snarky, harsh and unkind to say here.
But honestly . .
Where does one go to insult these people?
June 12th, 2007 at 7:08 PMUsing
Cheapshot
“love dogs”
actually Salukis are a respected dog breed in the Middle East, although they consider other dogs unclean.
the piss-drinking thing:
Actually, there is a group of people that drink urine (at least they did 25 years ago). They are Indians way up north somewhere. They take hallucinogenic mushrooms. There aren’t enough to go around, and the active principle goes into the urine. Thus, yuch. (I could come up with a book citation, if needed.)
June 12th, 2007 at 7:14 PMUsing
No wonder so many Mooselimps have moved to the ass of L’ Grand EUrinal, *spit* fwance *spit*… The wine reminds them of Krazy Mo’s Sparkling Syphilitic Urethra Sprinklings®.
June 12th, 2007 at 7:14 PMUsing
Plop! Plop!
Fizz! Fizz!
Slurpin’ up
The Prophet’s whizz.
Gonna grab me a sixer of Ole Mecca.
Does this mean that a group of Muslims sitting around your septic tank with long straws is an Islamic Kegger?
Holy Barfing Burqas Batman!
June 12th, 2007 at 7:34 PMUsing
so if I don’t adhere to the religion of piss…..
does that make me an a-prostate??
June 12th, 2007 at 7:49 PMUsing
It’s ok, Wil. You insult them just by being. Ain’t that cool?
June 12th, 2007 at 7:56 PMUsing
It may be a while before I can piss again.. man did they just insult urine ?
June 12th, 2007 at 8:08 PMUsing
Are you KIDDING me????? This has Got to be made up? I can’t believe that in this day and age drinking of fluids would be advocated. By the way what happend to the smileys?
June 12th, 2007 at 9:26 PMUsing
I was going to inquire as to whether or not you were shitting us…….however, not knowing where that would go, I relented.
June 12th, 2007 at 9:32 PMUsing
mindy1
June 12th, 2007 at 9:59 PMthe piece posted speaks specifically of Mohammed’s urine. There is no mention that it should be a general tradition, assuming the “messenger of Allah” is the prophet. Everybody is just having fun about this really bizarre Koran comment.
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Apparently this is where the ol’ “Head down, ass up five times per day” thing came from. Ol’ Mo’ may have had a tiny pecker, but his bladder was timed like a clock.
June 12th, 2007 at 10:02 PMUsing
PC, if it’s in the Koran, the Koranimals consider it “set in stone” and “a tradition that should be continued, no matter what century it is.”
Remember, these are the same 7th Century Savages who routinely rape & murder the innocent because “it’s a tradition passed down from the Pedophile Profit™.“
June 12th, 2007 at 10:06 PMUsing
The Koran is quite litterally the exact word of God. Not As Translated by Full Bladder Mo. There are no errors, according to the faith.
June 12th, 2007 at 10:18 PMUsing
After I got done puking… really that has got to be the most disgusting thing I have ever heard.
June 13th, 2007 at 12:01 AMUsing
I wonder what their Manual of Stoopid™ (aka the Queer-ran, piss of a thousand hogs be upon it) says about Mohammad’s poop. Fucking freaks!
June 13th, 2007 at 12:52 AMRandom fact: “mocha” in Russian means “piss”. Note, it has “Mo” in it!
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Gotta backup PC on this one: If it says “of the Prophet”, where are they gonna get that nowadays?
Doesn’t make it not still disgusting, though. It’s just too bad that a lot of them back then didn’t take the “Blood of the Prophet” part more seriously. If they had killed his sorry ass and drank his blood then, maybe there would be less Koran there for them to point to as justification for other things today.
June 13th, 2007 at 7:41 AMUsing
They also teach that drinking camel piss is healing. Note to all those out there that don’t think that Islam is a threat… This is the kind of health care that you will get under an Islamic government.
June 13th, 2007 at 9:32 AMUsing
Are you kidding, Spartan? The Whoorywood idiots won’t think it’s a threat. They would knocking each other over to get some, thinking that it’s some kind of tonic to thwart everything from old age, wrinkles, arthritis, whathaveyou.
Then there’d be camel piss tablets, camel piss body wash, etc. The cosmetic business would love it. Yech! Feh!
June 13th, 2007 at 10:12 AMUsing
Is there any other kind? Runs the gamut from when and how to beat your wife, to cat/meat/shiek Hilali, and just about every other point of florrid, superstitous non-sense in between. Like clitorectomies, honor killing, just unfarkingbelievable. IowaHawk, BTW did a great parody called Ask the Other Imam a year ago or so.
June 13th, 2007 at 12:01 PMUsing
You would not believe some of the absolute garbage I heard when I was a Muslim. These were college educated American and Americanized women, not some Yemeni goatherd who just got here yesterday. Camel piss was just the beginning, the worse superstition was the “evil eye”. This little bit of silliness claimed that if someone complimented your child or anything eles and did not say “Mash Allah” (praise Allah) that meant that they envied you or your child and they would get sick or have something really bad happen to them. Another version of the Evil eye was that if someone merely envied you then they could cause you some sort of bodily harm or evil by looking at you. In other words, you did not get sick because you got a virus or had an accident because of negligence but because someone envied you or wished you harm. I was accused of causing a late term miscarriage because I wanted a child and it was not happening for me, I left Islam right after that.
June 13th, 2007 at 3:42 PMUsing
That reminds me of this story I heard a while ago…
Shaking hands with foreigners makes your penis melt away.
June 13th, 2007 at 10:11 PMUsing
That reminds of this wacked out story.
Utterly amazing what some people want to believe.
June 13th, 2007 at 10:12 PMUsing
Spartan
June 13th, 2007 at 10:30 PMThanks for your comments. That sounds like an awful experience–it’s bad enough to be blamed for the things you did do. It’s good to hear these type of comments from people who have been Muslim (Americans!). I don’t mean it’s good that people have these horrible views, just that it backs up the opinion of Islam being a screwed up religion.
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Ditto, Spartan. We had a briefing a number of years ago when some Kuwati pilots were coming to train in the F/A-18. The deal about complimenting children was supposedly because djihns had very good hearing but poor eyesight. So they can’t tell if the child is good looking but they can hear you say so, in which case they come and make the child ill or even die. The takehome was that these guys probably did not believe such superstition, but don’t assume so and don’t compliment their children.
There was also a joke. The sex researcher is conducting an interview with an American, a German, and a Kuwati. The researcher asks the American whether sex is fun or work. Th American relpies without hesistation that it is fun, of course. The German thinks a bit longer, but responds that “it is work, but we do it very well.” The Kuwati thinks for a long time and finally concludes that it must be fun, “because if it were work, we’d have a Yemeni doing it for us.”
June 14th, 2007 at 7:50 AMUsing