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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » On Vacation
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Just in case you’re wondering (and breaking out the champagne in anticipation thereof): No, I did not have a heart attack or leave this Vale of Tears in some other suitably magnificent fashion.

But the Imperial Progenitors, Overseas Division, have taken it upon themselves to inspect visit the Heart of the Empire in person, so we’ve been busy burying the bodies, digging out the family photos for display and dismissing the hookers for the weekend.

They’ll be staying until Monday or so, so if the Imperial Couple are mostly absent from these premises until then well, now you know why.

We leave the site in the extremely competent hands of the Management™.

‘Till then.

37 Responses to “On Vacation”
  1. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

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    We leave the site in the extremely competent hands of the Management™

    HA!

    I was wondering why BC and Jackboot (here to fore to be referred to as The Two Stooges™) were storing all those kegs of your best Imperial Vintage in the broom closet. I noticed that they had also re-arranged all the Imperial Torture Game Equipment™ over to the side of the Dungeon Game Room™.
    Umm…also Sire…the hookers um…never left. They…uh…well let’s just say that they…
    Oh I’ll just let The Two Stooges™ explain where they are.

    Have a happy visit with the Royal Parental Units and give them a hug from all the Rotts. We’ll do our best to keep the debauchery to a dull roar.

  2. LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR Comment by LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR

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    Best Regards to the entire ancestral division, Sire. Enjoy the visit.

    the hookers um…never left

    I suppose that was a typo. You meant hooks right, we were planning a fishing trip on the Imperial Yacht rental dingy, in a special location out in the Gulf of Arbustico.

    Of course we’ve posted a troop of Imperial Flying-Monkeys on the palace for security. In light of that inexplicable hole in the ceiling, the last time the Boss and family left home, we thought it might be appropriate. Additionally, BisW and Crunchie have been umm reassigned to the Dungeon Game room for the duration, under guard.

    We’ll do our best to keep the debauchery to a dull roar.

    Sez you !!!!

  3. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

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    In light of that inexplicable hole in the ceiling, the last time the Boss and family left home, we thought it might be appropriate.

    Not to mention you guys nosing around in the Empress’s um…personal items? Hmmmmmm?? We still have the video ya’know. Might be a good time to break out the popcorn machine….. :lol:

  4. Unregistered Comment by LC TGregg

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    OT: Ann Coulter writes about Bush and Shamnesty, and it’s hilarious:

    President Bush was so buoyed by the warm reception he was given in Albania that he immediately gave all 3 million Albanians American citizenship, provided they learn Spanish. The offer was withdrawn when Bush found out most Albanians haven’t broken any U.S. laws.

    Read the rest.

  5. maxxdog Comment by maxxdog

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    My absolute best to the family! How cool they could get here for a visit.

    Not to mention you guys nosing around in the Empress’s um…personal items?

    I tried to tell JB that thing wasn’t a fancy set of knee pads with a locking strap. Goofy shit tried to stand up and would’ve fallen over if BC hadn’t caught him.
    BTW, you might want to change the lock on the liquor cabinet. That one is way too easy to pick.

  6. Cheapshot911 Comment by Cheapshot911

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    ‘Hope Family Fest comes and goes with massive hugs, laughter, and maybe a couple’a sweet tears..

    Show’em YOUR take on the American Dream, Sire!

  7. Unregistered Comment by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant

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    I was wondering why BC and Jackboot

    Ahem. 

  8. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil

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    My best to the family, of course, but are you sure ya wanna leave the Keys to the Castle with MANAGEMENT(TM)?

    Yer a brave man. Hope you take the Imperial Liquor supply and all the guns with you. Last time, BC was shooting skeet in the street. With Ludmyilla. In his underwear.

    Spats was tossing.

    Yeah, I know. It’s a pain in the ass hitting skeet with a rifle. Especially when you get so loaded you can’t hit the floor with yer hat.

    I don’t wanna even get started about Jackboot and the hookers. Did ANY of them speak english, JB? That Redhead didn’t look old enough to vote.

  9. Radical Redneck Comment by Radical Redneck

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    I don’t wanna even get started about Jackboot and the hookers. Did ANY of them speak english, JB? That Redhead didn’t look old enough to vote.

    Old enough to vote? She wasn’t old enough to ride the Ferris Wheel! :shock:

  10. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

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    Ahem.

    Well Spats…I just assumed you were too busy with the new Mrs. to bother getting drug into BC and JB’s shenanigans.

    But now that you mention it….how did BC’s Boxers get placed on the flag pole? *squinting* Is that Sponge Bob I see on them??

  11. Unregistered Comment by LC Elchonon, Imperial Chief of Civil Disobedience

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    *squinting* Is that Sponge Bob I see on them??

    Naw its his jizz

  12. Deathknyte Comment by Deathknyte

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    Is that Sponge Bob I see on them??

    Them be flower patterns!

  13. LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR Comment by LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR

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    DK and Mrs. M

    Them be flower patterns!

    Look again ya’ maroons. First of all, BC couldn’t get one of his hairy legs in those micro-thongs.

    They might belong to the nekkid danish women’s volleyball team danish cultural ambassadors, the boss arranged for.

  14. Lady Heather Comment by Lady Heather

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    But now that you mention it….how did BC’s Boxers get placed on the flag pole? *squinting* Is that Sponge Bob I see on them??

    Now I’d be proud of those drawers…a lot of us “grownups” LOVE Sponge Bob! (Myself included)

  15. Unregistered Comment by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant

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    Spats was tossing.

    I was throwing, dammit.  Watch yer mouth. :-)

  16. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

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    First of all, BC couldn’t get one of his hairy legs in those micro-thongs.

    If that’s a micro-thong it must have come off Rosie O’Donuts butt cause you could use it for a breaking chute on a B-52. Just how big are those danish cultural ambassadors anyway??

  17. Unregistered Comment by LC Elchonon, Imperial Chief of Civil Disobedience

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    Old enough to vote? She wasn’t old enough to ride the Ferris Wheel!

    Which liberal judge let you outta jail…

  18. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

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    Ya all need better guards there Jackboot! Put on one Monica Sweatheart movie and BiW and I are out and looking for Ludymilla and the Kimber.
    BTW Mrs M, clean up in the guards lounge OK.
    BiW, stay away from the vibrators this time and we can get away with it, jeesh.

  19. Unregistered Comment by LC Elchonon, Imperial Chief of Civil Disobedience

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    Well Spats…I just assumed you were too busy with the new Mrs. to bother getting drug into BC and JB’s shenanigans.

    y’know spats… he has the Mrs all worn out.. he’s gotta let her rest.. meanwhile he needs a new blowup doll because he just realized she did not take too well to bitting.

  20. Unregistered Comment by LC Elchonon, Imperial Chief of Civil Disobedience

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    How come there is no “guardian of the imperil harem” as the only virgin in the empire you should trust me to guard over the hookers! (besides I only like twins!)

  21. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

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    Hey, who grabbed my ass! Again!

  22. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

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    Hey, who grabbed my ass! Again!

    Well it wasn’t me! I’m too busy cleaning up that #*%#&(#@&% Guard Lounge…..nasty bunch of *@#*&^%^$@#@….

  23. Unregistered Comment by LC Elchonon, Imperial Chief of Civil Disobedience

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    Hey, who grabbed my ass! Again!

    Dude your so skinny, there aint what to grab.

  24. LC Old Dog Comment by LC Old Dog

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    I would not sweat The Inspection; my own sneaking suspicion is the Imperial Progenitors are more interested in the Imperial Heirs than in thine own Rottie self.

    Grandparents are like that you know!

    BC, Where did you put the Damn Jack Daniels?

  25. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

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    Elchonon, I’ll have you know my ass is magnificent thank you very much. Bangie thing says so and Mrs M has the photographic proof. Besiedes, BC really seemed to like it.

  26. Princess Natasha Comment by Princess Natasha

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    I did not grab yer ass! I swear!

  27. Princess Natasha Comment by Princess Natasha

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    I don’t want BC to think I am invading his territory, anyway! Tee-hee-hee! Crunchie and BC, up in a tree….

  28. LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR Comment by LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR

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    Crunchie-

    BisW, stay away from the vibrators this time and we can get away with it, jeesh.

    I ain’t quite that stoopid. I reminded her to put them somewhere a bit more secure. BisW started all this shit the last time messin’ wif ‘em and I’m not ’splainin anymore holes in the palace ceiling. I don’t think the ‘rat’ excuse would work again.

    Dammit somebody pinched my ass too, just now….WTF?

    Got a suspect, can you spell N @ ??????

  29. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

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    It was Nat?! Oh, well I can deal with that. Hey Nat, wanna ‘nother grab?

    BisW started all this shit the last time

    Lets see here

    #21 Comment by Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur UNITED STATES

    Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur

    This looks interesting…..does it make a loud noise?

    Posted on February 10, 2007 @ 7:21 pm Using Internet Explorer Internet Explorer 7.0 on Windows Windows XP
    #22 Comment by LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR UNITED STATES

    LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR

    Dunno..point it at the ceiling and push that thingy inside the round thingamabob…..

    *kkkkaaaaaabaannnngggggg*

    yep…what did you say?….can’t hear you?

    BisW wasn’t alone in starting that shit, now was he JB?

    BTW, I found that stream by searching “vibrator” on the Rott. Man that was a mistake. You should have seen the results!

  30. Unregistered Comment by LC Elchonon, Imperial Chief of Civil Disobedience

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    By the way, has anyone ever made a baseball bat-sized vibrator?) Posted on May 2, 2006

    oh lordy…

  31. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

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    That was one of my favorites elchonon.

    no worries that odd noise is Nancy Pelosi’s vibrator warming up …

    Rosie “Vibrator Sponsored by Goodyear Airships” O’Donuts

    Have these bitches never bought a vibrator and a pack of EverReady’s??

    diesel-run 12 foot vibrator

  32. psychochick Comment by psychochick

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    Actually, I used to hang out in a P-rn store to hang with the clerk. I am very comfortable in that environment, but some of those things are frightening in their size!

  33. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

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    but some of those things are frightening in their size!

    :lol: :lol:

    That is the newest submission for the “understatement of the year ward”. Even Rosie would cringe at some of em that I’ve seen..er, um I mean.. been told about. Yeah that’s it.

  34. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

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    By the way, has anyone ever made a baseball bat-sized vibrator?

    Talk about knocking it over the fence. Might be fun to whack a few balls with that one. :lol:

  35. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

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    Mrs M! I am shocked, absolutely shocked I tell you! To think that such a rude comment could evah, evah come from such a fine suthuhn layday! I do duclair!

  36. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

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    Mrs M! I am shocked, absolutely shocked I tell you! To think that such a rude comment could evah, evah come from such a fine suthuhn layday! I do duclair!

    Oh now Crunchie dahlin. You know us Suthuhn Belles gotta to have sum spice to keep the shugah from gettin too sweet. :;):

  37. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

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    Mrs M, M is a lucky man!