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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Poor Teddy Rrrrrrrallph Misses the Spotlight
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…and so he slithers out from under his rock, vomiting forth yet another abomination almost as offensive as it is bereft of any discernible artistic talent (click thumbnail for larger image):

Not that it’s the first time that poor little neglected Rrrrallphie has broken out the backhoe in an attempt to reach ever new lows. This is the same syndicated “cartoonist” that previously made fun of the people who lost loved ones on 9/11, called the NYFD money-grubbing attention whores (which is strange, since nobody knows more about that than Teddy, so he ought to know better), called our troops hired thugs, called Pat Tillman an idiot and a sap, compared bin Laden and his al-Qaeda to the Founding Fathers etc. etc. etc.

And now he’s comparing our soldiers to suicide bombers. The deranged, subhuman slime mold that deliberately seek out defenseless civilians and murder them.

You would think that maybe

Universal Press Syndicate,
4520 Main Street
Kansas City, MO 64111-7701
(816) 932-6600

…would have had the common decency and respect for the fallen to disassociate themselves from that disgusting ghoul by now, it’s been 6 years of continuous abuse from that shitstain on the slimy sheets of humanity after all, but no, they haven’t. They’re still syndicating him, and his talentless bilge is still appearing in a newspaper near you, which is yet another reason that I quit subscribing to them years ago.

I mean, it’s not like he can draw. I’ve seen three-year-olds draw stuff better resembling that which they intended it to resemble and, moreover, there is absolutely nothing innovative or incisive about that little maggot’s “points”, whatever they might be. They’re nothing but tired, obsolete, endlessly recycled talking points from the looniest fringe of the loony left. Perhaps the diarists at the Daily Kotz ought to slap him down with a class action infringement of copyright lawsuit.

The sum total of his “talent” is his endless quest for attention, the only thing that validates his sad, pathetic, unloved existence, granting him for a short little while the illusion that anybody would notice if he were to get run over by a Roto-Rooter truck, spreading the worthless, flabby sack of skin that contains his insignificant self over several square feet of eternally contaminated road.

Or maybe he just has a death wish, because if he thinks for a moment that the First Amendment, while it will most certainly keep him out of jail, will save him from an early grave when he finally crosses the line once too many, then he is even more deluded than we already know that he is.

And cross it he will. Heck, considering the slime he has spread over the last six years, I consider it a miracle that he hasn’t been found beaten, bludgeoned, shot and stabbed to death in a back alley yet. I also know that if I were to be there when it happened, I’d suddenly develop a complete and temporary loss of both sight and hearing. I wouldn’t remember a damn thing about the perpetrators. And if I were to end up on the jury afterwards, I can guarantee you a hung jury no matter how long it took, because there is no way in Hell that I would consider his horribly painful end, no matter how over the top and atrocious, anything but justifiable.

Remember, Teddy: The First protects you from the government. It does nothing to protect you from the rest of us.

And on that happy note (sleep forever with one eye open, Rrrralphie boy, and know that I’ll be celebrating for a week straight when you forget and wake up in Hell), I’d like to welcome LC & IB Cassy Fiano, whose excellent post I linked to at the beginning, to the Imperial Blogroll.

Great job exposing that turd on two legs for what he is and reminding those who might have forgotten!

32 Responses to “Poor Teddy Rrrrrrrallph Misses the Spotlight”
  1. Sir Guido Cabrone, LC, M.o.P. Comment by Sir Guido Cabrone, LC, M.o.P.

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    Walking Ballistic Test Media is all he is, Boss.

  2. Sir Guido Cabrone, LC, M.o.P. Comment by Sir Guido Cabrone, LC, M.o.P.

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    Damn, I even got a “Foist” outta this? How the hack did that happen?

  3. Tsubaki Shijuro Comment by Tsubaki Shijuro

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    That guy’s not only a vile, amoral thug, he’s also boring.

    Does he think he’s clever?

  4. LC George guy, Prophet of Neofederalism Comment by LC George guy, Prophet of Neofederalism

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    Reminds me I need to draw more cartoons.

  5. psychochick Comment by psychochick

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    Publishers Weekly considers him a satirist and said he takes a lot of shit from the left. Maybe he’s making fun of the people that stereotype soldiers.

  6. psychochick Comment by psychochick

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    fonts hate me

  7. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

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    Does he think he’s clever?

    He thinks so. Can’t you just see that slimey little warthog sitting in his underoos at his widdle desk with his crayons, giggling and drooling while he makes pictures with all those pretty colors.

    “Mommy! Look at what I drew!”
    “That’s nice dear, now it’s time for your medication.”

  8. SoldierInGodsArmy Comment by SoldierInGodsArmy

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    The sum total of his “talent” is his endless quest for attention, the only thing that validates his sad, pathetic, unloved existence, granting him for a short little while the illusion that anybody would notice if he were to get run over by a Roto-Rooter truck, spreading the worthless, flabby sack of skin that contains his insignificant self over several square feet of eternally contaminated road.

    Or maybe he just has a death wish, because if he thinks for a moment that the First Amendment, while it will most certainly keep him out of jail, will save him from an early grave when he finally crosses the line once too many, then he is even more deluded than we already know that he is.

    2 Peter 2:1-3

    But there were false prophets also among the people, even as there shall be false teachers among you, who privily shall bring in damnable heresies, even denying the Lord that bought them, and bring upon themselves swift destruction.

    And many shall follow their pernicious ways; by reason of whom the way of truth shall be evil spoken of.

    And through covetousness shall they with feigned words make merchandise of you: whose judgment now of a long time lingereth not, and their damnation slumbereth not.

    Life’s full of choices…

  9. michaelcullen Comment by michaelcullen

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    where the hell does this guy live, ill show him the after life. half a second after shoving an m-4 up his ass.

  10. The Major Comment by The Major

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    What a SHPOS! Dishonoring the men and women who died so he could enjoy… no, ABUSE the freedom that allows him to post such vulgar feces! Typically elitist, snotty-boy perspective. All of us soldiers, sailors, airmen and Marines are mindless dolts blindly following the evil and quite stoopid GWB (who, oddly enough, seems to be extremely smart when it comes to forming and executing vast conspiracies with his oil buddies).

    Listen here, product of one-nighter and a jackal’s condom falling off, take your commie red crayons and shove them up your high and mighty, condylomatous, dick-snatching ass! That is THIS dirt-dumb former soldier’s utilization of his free-speech rights! If your diseased, cowardly backsides would like to find out what my trusty size 13 combat boot has to say about your “take” on the American warrior, I’m sure I can arrange a meeting.

    (PsychoC - SHPOS means Sub Human Piece of Shit)

  11. Unregistered Comment by mindy1

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    I have seen this guys cartoons used in flyers when I was in school. He seems to have hated the military even back then, for some reason. What’s not to hate,soldiers are brave, dedicated, believe in a greater cause than themselves?/sarcasm

  12. Unregistered Comment by crazylegs

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    Even in New York ciy, this guy probably aught to wear a cup. Truth is, hydrashocks aren’t cheap, and FMJ isn’t as cheap as it should be either. The guy ain’t worth a bullet.

    Any good editor would take one look at this guy and say “Seems like your really interested in this whole war, you have alot of curiosity, and a lot of opinions, and your just dying to say stuff and write stuff about it. Hmmm, have I got a research opportunity for you…” *Searches desk for plane ticket and press card to Iraq. Too much to hope for I guess…

  13. Unregistered Comment by Chairborne Ranger

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    This guy is wrong on so many levels… ..Ill break it down by each frame

      1st: Most suicide bombers are male, but a very few are female. I thought stereotyping wasn’t allowed in Liberaltopia.
      2nd: Confusing willingness with want. Of the active/vets I know, none want to die, its a part of the risk of serving your country, of which this little bastard has no appreciation for.
      3rd: There is no religious requirement for the military. That muslim thing is kinda important to Al Qaeda.
      4th: Stack any American high school grad against any mental patient who desires to blow himself up. The public school system is screwed up, but at least it doesn’t martyr mickey mouse knockoffs.
      5th: If I had a dollar for every vet who wanted to slap the President upside his head, I’d be getting that Dodge Viper I’ve always wanted. Supporting the war is not the same as supporting how its being run.
      6th: I believe a company firing an employee who serves because of the fact they are in the military is illegal. He also hasn’t seen recent a re-upping bonus (A friend of mine’s bonus was at least 12 thousand dollars).
      7th: Again, religious beliefs are independent of military service. I know Christians, Jews, and Buddhists who have never considered enlisting and atheists in active duty.
      8th: Deciding to join the military is not an immature decision. At the age of 18 or even 17, you commit at least the next 3 years of your life to the military. Getting drunk and passing out naked in a college bar is immature, making a decision of the magnitude of joining at a relatively young age is not.
      How he says employed, much less lives with himself, is beyond me. I don’t think comparing our military to our enemies is what the founders had in mind when the 1st admendment was drawn up.
  14. cmblake6 Comment by cmblake6

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    Everybody has pretty much said what I would have said, so I’ll but add this. He’ll be one of the first to die at the hands of those he so obviously would prefer in control. How can these idiots not realise that the very people they so obviously revile are the ones who enable them to say the silly shit they do?

  15. Unregistered Pingback by Inoperable Terran » Ted Rall hits bottom, discovers sub-bottom

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    […] about your classic wastes of oxygen. Posted by Ian S. […]

  16. SoCalOilMan, LC Comment by SoCalOilMan, LC

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    This asshat has just totally bought into the picture of what they told us about the soldiers in Viet Nam, undereducated, patriotic (tho I don’t know what’s wrong with that), a minority, Immature (tho in the next breath he’ll tell me a 12 year old is mature enough to decide about having sex and having a baby, but an 18 year old isn’t mature enough to decide if the military is what they would like to do).

    I’d ask for facts and consistency, but I know who I’m talking to.

  17. HoundOfDoom Comment by HoundOfDoom

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    The First protects you from the government. It does nothing to protect you from the rest of us.

    Dead on there, boss.

  18. hOOt Gibson Comment by hOOt Gibson

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    He’s a bore, but by being also a liberal, what else would you expect?

    Laugh at him like you would an Al Franken comedy skit…I know, I know, you wouldn’t laugh at that limpdick loser either…so best just ignore him, everybody else does.

    hOOt

  19. LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech Comment by LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech

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    The First protects you from the government. It does nothing to protect you from the rest of us.

    There ya go. The

    Trace Adkins finishes a song “First Ammendment? Buddy, that protects you from the government, not from ME!”

  20. LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech Comment by LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech

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    The? The typo.

  21. Spartan24 Comment by Spartan24

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    What a sick bastard! I guess he does not realize that people died so that he could spew his bilgewater freely. Sick sick person.

  22. LittleRott84 Comment by LittleRott84

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    A lot of people who join the military are usually quite educated. Heck, when I was in basic and AIT, several people had at least a semester or two of college under their belts (I myself had one full semester and a summer term under mine), and I came across a few who went in as E4s (Specialists) because they had bachelor’s degrees or better.

    Also, when it comes to getting promoted to sergeant or higher, college credits will get you a lot of promotion points.

  23. jaybear Comment by jaybear

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    LittleRott84 sez:

    A lot of people who join the military are usually quite educated

    roger that, these are the kids in the high school where I teach who enlisted after graduation this year:
    1…An AP Honors Student who is Air Force bound she…yes SHE wants to be a fighter pilot.
    2…An honorable mention All-League running back who turned down a walk on opportunity at the University of Idaho to enlist in the Army, he wants to be an MP and a cop.
    3…A math whiz who joined the Navy and wants to serve on Submarines.

    When I worked for DARPA (DoD) I got to spend a lot of time in the field…mostly with Army armor guys. I can only think of two people who I considered idiots, one was a pot bellied Major who considered it a real inconvenience to get up out of his office and get dirty with us in the field…everyone hated this desk pilot. Another was a PFC in Germany who had to be ordered to stop picking his nose and wiping it on the steering wheel of our HMMWV. Everyone else I dealt with, be they infantrymen, officers, tank crews, chopper pilots, liaison officers or sergeants, I thought the world of and was always impressed at their intelligence and competence.

    Every damned one of them….even the nose picker….have earned something that “turd rall” will never have…honor

    This is what I said about rall over at Pat Dollards site yesterday:

    well, for one thing…his artwork sucks, with linework that could be exceeded by any third grader with a dull crayon. I used to be a cartoonist for my college newspaper (loooong time ago) and work part time doing illustrations and computer graphics. I know how much time it takes to create a good illustration….and one that gets the point across CLEARLY. Obviously, rall the worm doesn’t have the pride in his work to do that. His scrawls are the kind of stoner, drugged out “artwork” that you used to find in magazines like High Times and the underground rags……that’s the audience he is trying to reach, one that needs the point put them fast and simply….because they lack the cognitive powers to process anything that is coherent, intelligent, or intricate.

  24. LC & IB GuyS Comment by LC & IB GuyS

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    There are no words which can describe how I feel about that pond scum, Ted Rall(and I appologise in advace to all OTHER pond scum who might take offence at my including Rall in their sub set of inhumanity). But I am sure there is at least one high caliber round out there, which when personally delivered to said poor excuse for a cartoonist, would make my (and countless other vets) feelings quite clear.

    Along similar lines, but coming at it from a slightly different angle … In an effort to help those on the progressive/statist/liberal wrong side of reality, figure out if they really support the troops or not. I have devised a “3 Step Program” to help them.

  25. kwongdzu Comment by kwongdzu

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    I’m sure the worthless puke is being flooded with hate mail. You know what they say, negative attention beats none at all …

  26. Unregistered Comment by crazylegs

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    I’m in a shop with more nuts then a yellow bag of M@Ms, but I can’t think of single guy among us who doesn’t have at least a little college under his belt, myself included. A freind of mine is an E-4, hes three classes away from his masters degree. Not a bachelors, Masters. I only mention him because everyone else I know with masters are all staff sergeants. I don’t mention them, because theres alot of them. So yeah, we’re an educated lot.

    I only know one guy whos really dumb, this poor SOB broke his wrist while trying to salute an Lt. It took him three tries to properly seat the magazine on his M-16, and then I almost punched him in the face, because he turned around, pointed the gun in my general direction, and reached for the charging lever. When we found out his wife was pregnant, some of us in the shop vaguely considered sending his wife a bouquet… made out of straightened coathangers. I still consider that troop to be superior to this story writing asshat, because if nothing else, Poor A1C Snuffy, (name changed to protect the overly innocent) at least made it through basic, and somehow passed techschool. The kids lasted alot longer in the squadron then I expected, inspite of having the whole place leadership included set solidly against him.

    As far as religion goes, most my shop is athiest agnostic, or christians, theres at least one muslim, I saw one guy flipping through the satanic bible one night. Theres a couple of mormons, a fistful of wiccans, and I knew a buddhist in basic. I think we had a hindu wandering around somewhere, I don’t know where he wandered off to.

    As far as blind obedience goes, theres an old joke among the first four ranks, “Marines say OORAH! Navy says Hoorah!, Army says HUA, and Airforce says ‘Why?’
    we do what we’re told, but we always has a lively conversation as to just why we’re doing what we’re doing. IE “So are we making busy work, or is there a master sergeant somewhere shooting for another medal?”

    As far as immaturity goes, if accepting responsibility for millions of dollars of equipment, thousands of tons of ordinance, hundreds of rounds of ammunition, and dozens of lifes belonging to fellow airmen makes the members of my shop immature, then immaturity is probably a good thing. Us youngins got what it takes.

  27. psychochick Comment by psychochick

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    craylegs
    My stepson is an airman in Okinawa (and is in a shop)

    This is off thread, but I wanted to make sure you didn’t think I was promoting censoring things that might incite violence (which would definitely include my favorite movies and music). I just brought it up as an idea.

    And I wasn’t insulting you with the South African thing–I was just joking about mercenaries.

  28. psychochick Comment by psychochick

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    crazylegs!
    Sorry! apparently the phrase is stepping on your pecker? little dificult for me

  29. Nanashi Comment by Nanashi

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    I have seen this guys cartoons used in flyers when I was in school. He seems to have hated the military even back then, for some reason. What’s not to hate,soldiers are brave, dedicated, believe in a greater cause than themselves?/sarcasm

    I recall reading somewhere that his father was in the Army, and he has some serious Daddy issues. His hatred of the military is actually an extension of his father-hatred.

  30. Unregistered Comment by leoni2

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    Nanashi,

    I recall reading somewhere that his father was in the Army, and he has some serious Daddy issues. His hatred of the military is actually an extension of his father-hatred.

    If that’s true, that WOULD explain his problems. He ain’t made at the military, per se, he’s mad at his old man, and the military is a convient (sp?) whiping boy.

  31. Spartan24 Comment by Spartan24

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    he has some serious Daddy issues…

    That would explain everything. I have a female cousin that has the same issues and absolutely hates the military. Her dad retired a full Colonel with an office in the Pentegon, she is a moonbat from south Austin who hates everything military

  32. MegaTroopX Comment by MegaTroopX

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Indeed, LittleRott. My pair of AASs are worth an E3 grade, and a SGTMAJ I knew was finishing up his Master’s.

    “Army Strong” means your brain, too. As opposed to the sparking and fritzing mess Ralllphie boy possesses.