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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Forgive Us L-rd, But How Can We Resist?
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LC & IB Naviguesser sends us this article about Silky Pony McBreck Girl going, er, “bicycle riding.”

Dumont, Ia. — Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards squeezed into a pair of Spandex bike shorts today…

Be still, my projectile vomiting mind’s eye…

and pedaled on the RAGBRAI route with champion cyclist Lance Armstrong.

One nut between the two of them. Well, in the physiological sense. Actually two, but the difference is that Lance has one, whereas Silky Pony… You get the drift.

After riding from just north of Dumont to Kesley, Edwards wrapped his arms around a several riders from Team Killer Bees for a photo,

What can one possibly hope to accomplish in life after having already embraced a sweaty, Spandex-clad Silky Pony?

(CALIGULA: Soaking for several hours in a bleach-filled jacuzzi, my Liege?)

Quit ruining my jokes, Little Boot, or I’ll take all of your goats away from you again. By the way, who let you out of your quarters this time?

but declined be held aloft in their traditional sideways pose. “You’d drop me, then I couldn’t be president,” he joked.

Not to mention that you might mess up his immaculately coiffed hair.

Then he sat down in Kesley for a diet soda and a pork chop. “My second,” he said.

The candidate was sweaty after about a dozen miles, but there was no evidence of helmet hair.

No surprise. The Imperial Center For Nuclear Physics Research and Weapons Development recently classified his hairdo as a “Class A Direct Impact Shelter”, meaning that anything hiding beneath it would be capable of surviving a direct hit with a 50 kt device.

Edwards rode at an easy pace, about 10 to 12 mph, and chatted with riders about whatever issues they brought up — Darfur, taxes, Iowa farming.

None of them had the least interest in, I don’t know, bike riding, perhaps? Then again, we can’t say as we blame them since we don’t either.

Several riders inquired about Elizabeth Edwards’ health — she was diagnosed this year with a recurrence of breast cancer — and wished her well.

Their fundraising begging letters will be in their inboxes shortly, as several people meaning to wish her well on the campaign site found out not too long ago.

As the pack crammed together to let a car pass, Edwards wobbled a little and veered around a rider.

“This is an accident waiting to happen,” he said, and laughed.

Don’t wait too long. Besides, think of the fundraising potential if you were to get a boo-boo. Your wife will be on every news network within the hour, telling everybody how they need to send as much as they can to the Silky Pony campaign to put an end to bikeriding accidents forever.

Graduate student Allison Vos of Chapel Hill, N.C., told Edwards that people probably didn’t realize he was in the group of cyclists hanging back from those encircling the cycling champion.

“That’s just fine with me,” said Edwards, who had a chain grease “tattoo” on his right calf.

“We are only $20 away from ending chain grease tattoos for good” — Elizabeth “Organ Grinder Monkey” Edwards, writing for the Breck Girl Campaign.

“This is actually not hard, this is fun,” Edwards said as he climbed a hill on County Road T16 on a black Trek road bike he borrowed for the day. “The biggest problem is my butt hurts. Is that normal?”

No, Pink Sapphire, it isn’t. Then again, you probably shouldn’t have removed the saddle before you joined the ride. Not That There’s Anything Wrong With That™.

Justin Lyle, 10, from Morgan Hill, Calif. rode next to Armstrong for about a mile. “I asked him, ‘How you go pee on the Tour de France?’” Lyle said later. “He said it’s pretty hard, sometimes you have to hold it.”

Not to mention that those riders go so damn fast. You have to time it just right, or they’ll all be past you before the first drop hits.

Next time, Silky Pony, use some petroleum jelly.

39 Responses to “Forgive Us L-rd, But How Can We Resist?”
  1. Lady Heather Comment by Lady Heather

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    Faggot.

    :em99:

  2. baslimthecripple Comment by baslimthecripple

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    Class A Direct Impact Shelter”, meaning that anything hiding beneath it would be capable of surviving a direct hit with a 50 kt device.

    His head might be underneath it, but penetrating that would be greeted with a loud sucking noise.

    No, Pink Sapphire, it isn’t. Then again, you probably shouldn’t have removed the saddle before you joined the ride. Not That There’s Anything Wrong With That™.

    Now that’s funny - I don’t care who you are!

  3. LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR Comment by LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR

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    Buuuuwwwaaaahhhh- You just can’t make this shit up.

    Caligula has been returned to his dungeon quarters under guard, but he’s demanding more bonding time with the Breck Girl.

  4. Unregistered Comment by Cheryl

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    The biggest problem is my butt hurts. Is that normal?

    Why, er, yes it is Sweetie. :em99: Someone slipped Silky a date-rape drub-I mean drug-right?

    Spandex bike shorts-Jeez-after 4 hours riding in those would you really want give Silks a hug?
    :em38: :em93:

  5. Vergeltung Comment by Vergeltung

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    I think we desperately need to hear from Ann Coulter on this one!! :em95:

  6. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    “He said it’s pretty hard, sometimes you have to hold it.”

    Trying..to…maintain..my…ladylike..demeanor…

    Oh the hell with it…

    I’m sure that just thrilled the Pony to no end to hear that…he probably thought that was an invitation.
    Elizabeth…you and the kids just go on back home…Lance and I are going to …uh….wash the bikes…yeah..that’s what we’re going to do..wash the bikes.

    Faggot™

  7. DJ Allyn,  ITW Comment by DJ Allyn, ITW

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    At least Edwards was honest about how he spent his money. Romney called his $300 haircut “communications consulting”, then went out and lied by telling us that he only spends $50 on a haircut — including tip.

    This is the age of television. Ever since Nixon got all sweaty on nationwide TV in 1960, presidential candidates and other politicians have paid small fortunes for hair and makeup care.

    Yes, makeup. Our “manly-man” straight-shootin’ decider-in-chief wears makeup, just like all of his predecessors going back to 1960.

    So yeah, you can poke fun at Edwards — if that’s all you’ve got worthy of disqualifying him for president. But frankly it sounds superficial when you can easily come up with much more serious reasons for not liking him — at least something that would effect the way he would perform his duties if elected president.

    Having well-coiffed hair is not a deal breaker for most rational thinking people. Maybe people like me with follicle-challenged domes might have a little envy, but that’s it.

  8. Lady Heather Comment by Lady Heather

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    But frankly it sounds superficial when you can easily come up with much more serious reasons for not liking him

    Uh, let me think about that…

    Wasn’t there some little something that he said about the War on Terror being a bumper sticker?

  9. jmaimarc Comment by jmaimarc

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    But frankly it sounds superficial when you can easily come up with much more serious reasons for not liking him

    Wasn’t there some little something that he said about Two Americas?

  10. LC SkyeChild Comment by LC SkyeChild

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    Hm…what legislation has Edwards put forward? What, particularly has he DONE that has made him eligible to be president? Besides chasing ambulances, that is?

    Hannity asked the same thing of a moonbat about the Hildabeast yesterday, and all the ‘bat could come up with is that,”she’s a different face.” Yeah, that’ll do the trick. Sean nailed the critter. :em99:

  11. LC SkyeChild Comment by LC SkyeChild

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    BTW, Mrs. Silky Pony has decided that she’s not eating any more tangerines. Apparently, their “carbon footprint” is too big..

    I say GOOD FOR HER. Leaves more for the “other America.”

  12. DJ Allyn,  ITW Comment by DJ Allyn, ITW

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    Wasn’t there some little something that he said about the War on Terror being a bumper sticker?

    Yes, a bumpersticker slogan, and that is pretty much how it has been treated over the past five years.

    “Fighting them over there so we don’t have to fight them here”

    The reality is, Bush’s war in Iraq has little or nothing to do with terrorism — except that for which was create AFTER going into Iraq.

    The NIE has come out time and time again saying that Al Qaeda did not exist in Iraq prior to our occupation. Now they make up only fifteen percent of the violence occuring over there, with eighty-five percent being part of a civil war caused by the vacuum of power we created.

    Most of the foreign fighters causing violence in Iraq are coming from Saudi Arabia, a fact that the administration is trying hard to confuse the issue by trying to focus our attention on Iran instead.

    Edwards is correct in labeling this war on terror a “bumpersticker slogan” because that is exactly how it is being sold to Joe Lunchbox.

    If this was a true war, like WW II, Korea, or Vietnam, we would be feeling the effects of a war. There is no public sacrificing, no shared effects of prosecuting a war. For most people, this “war” is an abstract concept that is never really thought about.

    There are still a few people who believe that it was Saddam who attacked us on 9/11. They believe that because they hear the 30-second soundbytes of Bush melding “Iraq” and “September 11th” into every speech.

    But, people are starting to wake up. When asked to choose a Republican candidate, they choose None of the above.

  13. LC SkyeChild Comment by LC SkyeChild

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    Sorry to disappoint you, DJ, but Vietnam wasn’t an official “war.” It was “police action.”

  14. LC SkyeChild Comment by LC SkyeChild

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    If the Democrats really want this war to end, Dave, then let them develop the cojones and END IT. They can cut funding. Period. End of report. They don’t have the guts.

  15. Spartan24 Comment by Spartan24

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    Thinking of John Edwards in a pair of bike shorts turns my already pregnancy weakened stomach even further. :em38:

  16. Unregistered Comment by leoni2

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    Korea was also a ‘police action’.

  17. DJ Allyn,  ITW Comment by DJ Allyn, ITW

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    Sorry to disappoint you, DJ, but Vietnam wasn’t an official “war.” It was “police action.”

    As was the Korean. But the point is, BOTH those “actions” were felt by the American people. We were aware of the cost both in material and the loss of life. Virtually every family knew someone who was fighting over there, we saw the destruction, we saw the effects.

    If the Democrats really want this war to end, Dave, then let them develop the cojones and END IT. They can cut funding. Period. End of report. They don’t have the guts.

    Nobody just wants to cut funding and leave anyone hanging. It is going to take a year or so just to get people out safely. What Democrats are asking is that we start making the preparations to get them out now, and start bringing them out.

    Personally? I would much rather we move the troops we have there now to the borders. Send the ‘contractors’ home. Then turn over all control over to the Iraqis to let them figure things out for themselves. We will just keep outside influences from coming in uninvited to make things worse.

    The Iraqis are going to have to work this shit out for themselves. One of the things that is working them up the most is our presence there. They see us as occupiers, not liberators, and they see their government as an American puppet.

    Maybe one of the solutions is to rip the country up into thirds like it was before the British cobbled a country together out of three waring factions just to satisfy the oil companies.

    But the most important thing is for the Bush administration to drop its “benchmark” for the Iraqis to sign over its oil fields to Exxon-Mobil for forty years thereby taking Iraq’s only natural resource away from them.

    All that is going to do is guarantee escalating violence and war for the unforeseeable future.

    I know that it is against everything Conservatives stand for to allow another country to nationalize their natural resources, but those resources belong to that country, not a multi-national corporation.

    If I were you, I would be more concerned with China buying up all of your property and debt right now.

  18. jaybear Comment by jaybear

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    As was the Korean. But the point is, BOTH those “actions” were felt by the American people. We were aware of the cost both in material and the loss of life. Virtually every family knew someone who was fighting over there, we saw the destruction, we saw the effects.

    What’s that CNN shows every night? it sure ain’t flags waving and schools being built. All the media shows is the destruction and the effects. Perhaps Americans (I hate the term American people…sounds so marxist) would “feel” more about this war if there was more balanced reporting going on. It would help considerably if the spokespersons on the left like moore and sheehan weren’t such bonafide idiots.

    Nobody just wants to cut funding and leave anyone hanging. It is going to take a year or so just to get people out safely. What Democrats are asking is that we start making the preparations to get them out now, and start bringing them out.

    really?? Reid said as much in April

    I know that it is against everything Conservatives stand for to allow another country to nationalize their natural resources, but those resources belong to that country, not a multi-national corporation.

    Say what???… :em41: lord a mighty, and all this time I thought it was the neocoms ( as opposed to the neocoNs) that advocated nationalizing everyones resources.

  19. jaybear Comment by jaybear

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    oh yeah, I heard a good line today…..

    “we can either make this a Global War ON Terror, or we can let it become a Global War OF Terror”

    take your pick

  20. tvfoh Comment by tvfoh

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    Lady Heather,

    I think Faggot is no the right word.

    I sugest Fop, either as a noun or transitive verb.

    TVFOH
    The View From Out Here

  21. seekeronos Comment by seekeronos

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    The Silky Pony squeezing his slimy self into a pair of bike shorts…. EWWW.

  22. Emperor Misha I Comment by Emperor Misha I

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    So yeah, you can poke fun at Edwards — if that’s all you’ve got worthy of disqualifying him for president. But frankly it sounds superficial when you can easily come up with much more serious reasons for not liking him — at least something that would effect the way he would perform his duties if elected president.

    Oh, but there’s plenty of that too.

    Thing is, now that I know that making fun of him really gets to him (as proven by how he keeps trotting out the little Missus to defend his honor), I just can’t resist.

    Don’t ever reveal a soft spot to the Emperor. I get too much bloody fun out of poking it over and over again.

  23. Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur Comment by Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur

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    If this was a true war, like WW II, Korea, or Vietnam, we would be feeling the effects of a war. There is no public sacrificing, no shared effects of prosecuting a war.

    You’re right DJ. Of course, if John and Joan Q. Public were feeling the pinch, they would be far less tolerate of taking vipers to the nation’s busom. There would have been real consequences for the NY Slimes queering an effective intel gathering technique, and Truthies like Private Mitty in the story above would be able to share their twisted view of reality with any one in the cell block who’ll listen.
    Considering the depth of delusion enjoyed by the un”reality based” community, I’d think you’d be careful what you kvetch about. No telling when the jackbooted christofacists might take over for real. They’ll only sit by quietly for so long while Reid and Pulosi continue to disgrace themselves and our nation. When they proceed to becoming a real threat, they may find their days in the sun to be over. Abruptly.

  24. DдrтH бдкфи Comment by DдrтH бдкфи

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    DJ,

    Trotting out his utter bullshit about NIEs.

    Are you sure AQ wasn’t in some way involved with the Iraqi government- not even Zarkie, a known AQ op? Or Ansar al-Sunnah?

    *shakes head again*

  25. LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech Comment by LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    taking vipers to the nation’s busom.

    MMmm. I know these critters.
    Us kids ‘Kept a rattlesnakes in a pig-knuckle jar for a few days, just to see who could leave their hand on the glass when it hit.
    ‘Got to know ‘em.
    Not a single scale of bullshit among all vipers.
    Disregard that threat at great peril.
    There’s that concept again,,missing entirely from their formula, that recognition and dilligent pursuit of strategic idiocy, their idea of futility is very different. Winning anything bigger than an arguement is a failure.
    The complexities of the danger of self-righteous self-neutering and the futility of expecting fair play when letting scoundrels deal (see klintoon/arafuk peace accord, nor’k/ iranian nukes, ad ho-hum) is seldom explored.

  26. Unregistered Comment by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Are you sure AQ wasn’t in some way involved with the Iraqi government- not even Zarkie, a known AQ op? Or Ansar al-Sunnah?

    ‘Course he is.  He’s got Seymour Butts Hersh and PrettymuchBullShit to say so! 

  27. Sir Christopher Comment by Sir Christopher

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    “This is an accident waiting to happen,”

    Edwards’ Campaign Slogan.

    I thought DrinksJizz was going to stay away for a while, or so a post inferred a while back. Knew it was too good to be true.

    Even brings up Nixon, the classic old standby of tired bankrupt lefties.

  28. DJ Allyn,  ITW Comment by DJ Allyn, ITW

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    we can either make this a Global War ON Terror, or we can let it become a Global War OF Terror

    take your pick

    Here is the typical thinking error of most Conservatives. Either/or. In other words, thinking in absolutes. Everything is black or white, there are no grey areas or colors.

    There are other possible variations that are more likely, if we stop stirring up problems.

    There has always been ‘terrorism’ of one shape or another in the world since man started fanning out in different groups. It’s a tactic, not a tangible.

    The funny thing is that ever since we embarked upon this GWOT™ acts of terrorism have actually gone up. We are creating more terrorists than there were before we started.

    Trotting out his utter bullshit about NIEs.

    Not my reports, DB, a consensus view of sixteen different spy services inside of our own government:

    Air Force Intelligence
    Army Intelligence
    Central Intelligence Agency
    Coast Guard Intelligence
    Defense Intelligence Agency
    Department of Energy
    Department of Homeland Security
    Department of State
    Department of the Treasury
    Drug Enforcement Administration
    Federal Bureau of Investigation
    Marine Corps Intelligence
    National Geospatial-Intelligence Agency
    National Reconnaissance Office
    National Security Agency
    Navy Intelligence

    Just a hunch, but I’m thinking they might know a bit more about the situation than all of us here combined.

    But hey, while we are hanging around in Iraq trying to pressure the Iraqis to give up their oil to the multi-national oil companies by means of armed robbery, the real problem with Al Qaeda is right where everyone on the Left has said it was: Afghanistan and Pakistan.

    Sooner or later, you are going to have to cut bait on trying to defend this whole Iraq debacle.

    Bush used a bad analogy the other day when he tried to convice us that “Al Qaeda in Iraq” is the same as the Al Qaeda that attacked us on 9/11:

    “Despite all the evidence, some will tell you Al Quaeda in Iraq is not really Al Quaeda and not really a threat to America. That’s like watching a man walk into a bank with a mask and a gun saying he’s probably there just to cash a check.”

    The better analogy, to use the mask and gun theme is how you describe the literal armed robbery this administration is conducting to take Iraq’s oil.

  29. jaybear Comment by jaybear

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    DJ sez:

    Here is the typical thinking error of most Conservatives. Either/or. In other words, thinking in absolutes. Everything is black or white, there are no grey areas or colors.

    Actually, it’s more like seeing things with blinders on/or with blinders off.

    There are other possible variations that are more likely, if we stop stirring up problems.

    Refresh my memory, where were those two skyscrapers that we crashed the planes into located again?? and whose destroyer did we blow a big hole in? and whose airplane did we blow up over Scotland? and what was that old muslim guys name on the Achille Lauro…you know, the one in the wheelchair we shot and dumped overboard….

    Oh, I’m sorry, I guess I’m using that old neocon black and white logic again eh?

    There has always been ‘terrorism’ of one shape or another in the world since man started fanning out in different groups. It’s a tactic, not a tangible.

    Remember to think that happy thought when the market or bar or nightclub or bus or train or plane you are on is the target of one of these terrorists “tactics”…..stop lending justification to these animals Dave!!

    But hey, while we are hanging around in Iraq trying to pressure the Iraqis to give up their oil to the multi-national oil companies by means of armed robbery

    How Kos of you…..

    the real problem with Al Qaeda is right where everyone on the Left has said it was: Afghanistan and Pakistan.

    That would be the same left that wants us out of those two countries too right? Believe the field reports or believe NPR , but we and NATO are fighting them just as hard over there…mountain wars are never easy DJ, they’re not made for broad front wars with thousands of soldiers marching in a line. the Allies were still fighting the Nazis in the Italian mountains right up to the end of the war, they were never fully defeated…they would retreat to the next mountain line of defense and wait for us.

    Bush used a bad analogy the other day when he tried to convice us that “Al Qaeda in Iraq” is the same as the Al Qaeda that attacked us on 9/11:

    You don’t think they’re operating independantly do you? AQ in Iraq is taking orders from the Al Qaeda top brass, Zawahiri was put in charge by them Dave. Lose the tunnel vision, yes Bin Laden is a target…but he is only one of many. This is a world war, if you don’t see that or don’t want to believe it then I feel sorry for you.

    I wish anyone that wants to “dialogue” with these beasts the utmost succcess in finding them…and when you do, talk reeeeal fast…because I’ve never heard of a severed head holding a conversation for long.

  30. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

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    “The biggest problem is my butt hurts. Is that normal?”

    Like he’s never said that before.

  31. LC HJ Caveman82952 Comment by LC HJ Caveman82952

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    A pain in the ass…sounds about right.

  32. DJ Allyn,  ITW Comment by DJ Allyn, ITW

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    Actually, it’s more like seeing things with blinders on/or with blinders off.

    Still, it is thinking in absolutes. You only see two possible outcomes. You don’t see the infinate number of prossibilities. You only see kill, or be killed.

    Refresh my memory, where were those two skyscrapers that we crashed the planes into located again??

    Iraq didn’t have a fucking thing to do with it. The ones responsible for that are still hanging out in Pakistan and back into Afghanistan.

    I don’t know how much more evidence you need to understand that this little foray into Iraq was something the NeoCons of PNAC had been planning since the mid-1990s. 9/11 just made it easier to sell. The real reason for Iraq is the control of OIL.

    Understand this: We have been exploiting the land and resources in the Middle East for over 100 years. We carved up the land into countries beneficial to the OIL COMPANIES without taking into consideration the centuries of feuds and wars that the indiginous people were involved in. We installed governments in these newly minted ‘countries’ that basically cow-towed to the needs and demands of those oil companies.

    Meanwhile, the PEOPLE who lived within the borders of those newly minted countries were treated like slaves and chattel.

    When they didn’t like what they were being subjected to, they tried to rise up — much like we did in 1776 — and they have been blasted ever since, by those puppet governments using weapons we supply to them in exchange for cheap oil.

    God damn it, it isn’t too fucking hard of a concept to understand, is it?

    They don’t “hate our freedoms”, they hate our presence over there.

    Imagine if the Chinese were over here extracting all of our natural resources, and telling you that you have to move off of the land that you’ve had in your possession for years. Wouldn’t you start taking your weapons and fight back by any means necessary?

    And don’t think it is far-fetched for the Chinese to be over here grabbing everything we have. They already pretty much own it.

  33. lc purple raider Comment by lc purple raider

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    DJ you make it sound like we can negotiate with these people.

    We can’t.

    They want us dead. And they really want the Jews dead.

    I have a hard time trying to compromise with people that want to kill me and mine.

    You say we sound like it’s a black or white position. Yes, it is, because the enemy has made it so.

    And they have made their intentions clear since 1968.

  34. DJ Allyn,  ITW Comment by DJ Allyn, ITW

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    DJ you make it sound like we can negotiate with these people.

    We can’t.

    We can, we just have to do something to be trusted. We have fucked them around for a long time.

    Secondly, we have to want to negotiate with them. This administration doesn’t want to talk to them because you don’t negotiate with someone you intend to take something from by force.

    It was fine and dandy to go into Iraq and remove Saddam. Good riddance. But we should have left immediately after that, because our stated goal was completed.

    But prior to going in, we should have had a plan set up for neighboring countries to assist in putting Iraq back together again. They don’t trust us over there, and for good reason.

    The longer we stay, the more violence we will see. It doesn’t take a genius to see that.

  35. jaybear Comment by jaybear

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    Still, it is thinking in absolutes. You only see two possible outcomes. You don’t see the infinate number of prossibilities. You only see kill, or be killed.

    You have to think like your enemy does to defeat him Dave, if you think you can nuance your way around these beasts then it’s your head that’s gonna roll.

    Iraq didn’t have a fucking thing to do with it. The ones responsible for that are still hanging out in Pakistan and back into Afghanistan.

    I never said that Iraq had any part in 9/11, and neither did the president. That’s just a word twisting argument that you all on the left use to invalidate this mission.

    Understand this: We have been exploiting the land and resources in the Middle East for over 100 years. We carved up the land into countries beneficial to the OIL COMPANIES without taking into consideration the centuries of feuds and wars that the indiginous people were involved in. We installed governments in these newly minted ‘countries’ that basically cow-towed to the needs and demands of those oil companies.

    Uh…DJ, we never had anything to do with colonizing the Middle East. That was mostly done by Germany, England, France, and Italy. The Middle East was partitioned into nations after World War I, breaking up what was then the Ottoman Empire. Most of the eeevil oil companies didn’t even exist then.

    When they didn’t like what they were being subjected to, they tried to rise up — much like we did in 1776 — and they have been blasted ever since, by those puppet governments using weapons we supply to them in exchange for cheap oil.

    God damn it, it isn’t too fucking hard of a concept to understand, is it?

    No, it’s not too f***ing hard to understand at all, and to compare their “uprising” to our War for Independence is to compare George Washington to osama bin laden….with one big difference, The Continental Army never…NEVER deliberately targeted civilian centers as a tactic, neither did the British. If you are trying to lend equivalency to the islamonazis routine killing of innocents….then I guess that’s what I find hard to f***ing understand.

    And if you take a closer look at the weapons our little oil merchants are waving around, the majority of them look like they were made by our russian and chinese friends. I don’t think Colt or S & W have re-tooled to build AK’s.

    Imagine if the Chinese were over here extracting all of our natural resources, and telling you that you have to move off of the land that you’ve had in your possession for years. Wouldn’t you start taking your weapons and fight back by any means necessary?

    No, I’d let them relocate me to a remote stretch of land and then I’d build a big casino there….

    :em95:

  36. LC MoMinuteMan Comment by LC MoMinuteMan

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    DJ, I agree with your previous statement of guarding the borders and letting them sort it out themselves. The warring sects have been trying to wipe each other out for centuries. The reason they hate our presence there is that we’re keeping them from that goal.

    Fuck ‘em! Let the savages kill each other, then we will deal with the last left handed asswiping raghead sonsabitches standing. It is better that they sell us the oil at a discount in repayment for all of our treasure than sell it to our enemies.

    Still, it is thinking in absolutes. You only see two possible outcomes. You don’t see the infinate number of prossibilities. You only see kill, or be killed.

    Actually, there are four possible outcomes according to the holy book of our enemies:

    1: Submission to islam. Give up your religion and accept allah as your god.

    2: Dhimmitude. Keep your religion, keep it quiet and live as a subjugated, second class citizen subject to the whims of your muslim betters, and pay a tax (jizzya) to keep your head.

    3: Death to all non-believers. The koran calls for the death for those who will not submit to islam or dhimmitude.

    Or,

    4: Kill those motherfuckers before they kill us.

    Death is what these assholes live for. And I mean the radical rags like islamic rage boy screaming for “Death To America”, and the “peaceful” collaborater ’slims that refuse to denounce acts of terrorism undertaken in the name of their religion, and according to polls are in favor of killing innocents to further the cause of islam.

    Granted, #4 ain’t in their book, but it has to be in our’s if we are to survive as the nation we all know and love.

  37. Unregistered Comment by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant

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    Not my reports, DB, a consensus view of sixteen different spy services inside of our own government:

    Oh, wow!  Links to all of their front pages!!!!!1  With no posted 3vid3nc3, even!!!  U r0xx0rz, d00d!!!

    Iraq didn’t have a fucking thing to do with it.

    Already alleged, already refuted - and yeah, I’ll take NewsMax, WND and NRO over your honeyboy Seymour Hashish and the boys at PissBrainsfullofShit any day, thanks.

    Understand this: We have been exploiting the land and resources in the Middle East for over 100 years. We carved up the land into countries beneficial to the OIL COMPANIES without taking into consideration the centuries of feuds and wars that the indiginous people were involved in. We installed governments in these newly minted ‘countries’ that basically cow-towed to the needs and demands of those oil companies.

    And as Misha’s already  pointed out to you (maybe you weren’t listening), what the Hell™ were they gonna  do with it?  Eat it?  Use it to pop corn?  Or maybe as a lubricant for their goats?

    I’d say that the (gasp, ARRRRGH!!!) OIL COMPANIES  have kinda done ‘em a bit of a favor by buying all that oil from ‘em, y’know?  Instead of, say, taking it from them  like you keep ridiculously accusing Bush of wanting to do.

    I mean, look:  If, as you say:

    But the most important thing is for the Bush administration to drop its “benchmark” for the Iraqis to sign over its oil fields to Exxon-Mobil for forty years thereby taking Iraq’s only natural resource away from them.

    …then why the Hell™ doesn’t Bush threaten a pullout unless they do?  Would be the easiest thing in the world to do, and I guran-damn-tee it’d produce results - yet not one peep from Bush about it.

    Things that make you go “hmmmmmmmmmmmm”…

    Meanwhile, the PEOPLE who lived within the borders of those newly minted countries were treated like slaves and chattel.

    That’s another thing, Dave.  I don’t give two shits what they think we did 100 years ago.  I wasn’t around then; no one in charge in Washington was around then (except, perhaps, ol’ “Sheets” Byrd) - all I care about is the here & now.

    And here & now, all they want is our surrender - and I will be effin’ damned  if I’m gonna give ‘em that.

    They have two choices:  live in peace with us, or die.  At this point, I don’t much give a flying fuck which they choose.

  38. DJ Allyn,  ITW Comment by DJ Allyn, ITW

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    Oh, wow! Links to all of their front pages!!!!!1 With no posted 3vid3nc3, even!!! U r0xx0rz, d00d!!!

    I only posted the list there to indicate what the sixteen intelligence agencies were involved. They just had links when I posted it, that’s all. (I’ve been playing around with a WSYWIG comment editor, so the links transfered over with the cut and paste)

    Already alleged, already refuted - and yeah, I’ll take NewsMax, WND and NRO over your honeyboy Seymour Hashish and the boys at PissBrainsfullofShit any day, thanks.

    Which is why you will never get the truth.

    And as Misha’s already pointed out to you (maybe you weren’t listening), what the Hell™ were they gonna do with it? Eat it? Use it to pop corn? Or maybe as a lubricant for their goats?

    Maybe use it as a natural resource to build up their infrastructure like we used to use ours for?

    I’d say that the (gasp, ARRRRGH!!!) OIL COMPANIES have kinda done ‘em a bit of a favor by buying all that oil from ‘em, y’know? Instead of, say, taking it from them like you keep ridiculously accusing Bush of wanting to do.

    But we did take it from them, Spats. We installed and supported brutal puppet regimes that we controlled, and when we lost the ability to control them any longer, we overthrew them and installed new ones.

    We talk a big game about government of the people and for the people, but when it comes to the people of other nations and their governments we have a different set of rules.

    Any of these countries in the Middle East became true democracies, then we would have to overthrow them because they wouldn’t sit still for having their natural resources exploited.

    Yes, a century ago, they didn’t have any idea the potential for the crude beneath their feet. NOW they do, and as a population they feel that they have suffered because of the exploitation.

    I don’t give two shits what they think we did 100 years ago.

    Those who don’t know history are doomed to repeat it.

    But here is the thing, Spats: Most Americans have troubles remembering their loved one’s anniversary, let alone something that happened even ten years ago. The people in the Middle East have generational memories going back centuries. They still do blood feuds based on something that someone from another clan did to a relative two hundred years ago.

    It is an honor thing, and while it doesn’t make much sense to us in our Western culture, it is a code of honor dating back thousands of years in their culture.

    THIS is why our tactics in Iraq are never going to work. We are trying to apply our ways of thinking to a people who sees things in a totally different way.

    They have two choices: live in peace with us, or die.

    I think that would be a lot easier for them to choose if you first got out of their country. We don’t have to “surrender” anything. You cannot surrender something you never had.

    We completed our initial mission: we got rid of Saddam. Now let the Iraqis form their own government as they want to have. If that means that they must have a little bloodshed first, then that’s the way it is. But it will be something THEY chose to fight for.

  39. Unregistered Comment by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant

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    I only posted the list there to indicate what the sixteen intelligence agencies were involved. They just had links when I posted it, that’s all. (I’ve been playing around with a WSYWIG comment editor, so the links transfered over with the cut and paste)

    Translation:  “Damn!  Busted!!!”

    Figured as much.

    Which is why you will never get the truth.

    What you fail to understand, Dave, is that Hersh, PBS and the New Ass Spelorker could tell me the sky was blue, and I’d go out to double-check.  Those bastards, along with their cousins at the NY Slimes,  wouldn’t know the truth if it bit them on their sizable asses.

    Maybe use it as a natural resource to build up their infrastructure like we used to use ours for?

    Oh, so you’re going to construct roads & buildings using crude oil as the primary ingredient?  You’ve come up with some formula that turns crude into concrete or brick? 

    But we did take it from them, Spats. We installed and supported brutal puppet regimes that we controlled, and when we lost the ability to control them any longer, we overthrew them and installed new ones.

    We talk a big game about government of the people and for the people, but when it comes to the people of other nations and their governments we have a different set of rules.

    Any of these countries in the Middle East became true democracies, then we would have to overthrow them because they wouldn’t sit still for having their natural resources exploited.

    Whine, whine, whine, blame America first, nothing we do is ever good, all we do is always evil, ad infinitum, ad nauseam.

    No wonder you morons lose the majority of the elections nowadays.  (And before you bring up ‘06, let’s get one thing straight - the GOP lost because it started sounding and acting like typical Demoscum.  So don’t even  start with the leftist spin, mkay?)

    Yes, a century ago, they didn’t have any idea the potential for the crude beneath their feet. NOW they do, and as a population they feel that they have suffered because of the exploitation.

    DAMN those American oil companies who brought them all that prosperity!!!!1

    Those who don’t know history are doomed to repeat it.

    May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.

    See, Dave, I can cut & paste quotes, too.

    But here is the thing, Spats: Most Americans have troubles remembering their loved one’s anniversary, let alone something that happened even ten years ago. The people in the Middle East have generational memories going back centuries. They still do blood feuds based on something that someone from another clan did to a relative two hundred years ago.

    It is an honor thing, and while it doesn’t make much sense to us in our Western culture, it is a code of honor dating back thousands of years in their culture.

    THIS is why our tactics in Iraq are never going to work. We are trying to apply our ways of thinking to a people who sees things in a totally different way.

    Fine.  Let them choose to die for their “blood feuds”.  Like I said, I don’t give a flying fuck.

    I think that would be a lot easier for them to choose if you first got out of their country. We don’t have to “surrender” anything. You cannot surrender something you never had.

    Dave, you’re forgetting something:  We are their at the behest of their elected government.

    I realize that sticks in your craw, but you’re really going to have to learn to accept it.

    We completed our initial mission: we got rid of Saddam. Now let the Iraqis form their own government as they want to have. If that means that they must have a little bloodshed first, then that’s the way it is. But it will be something THEY chose to fight for.

    That comes close to being about the stupidest thing I’ve ever read from your keyboard.

    What the fuck do you think we’re trying  to do over there but help them set up their government and prevent that government from being massacred by these Turbaned Terrorist Tumblefucks™???  My God, Dave, you would have all those purple forefingers buried in mass graves like Hussein did to them before?

    I think I’m in agreement with BC:  Go have coital relations with yourself.