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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Gate-Crashing
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Picture the scene:

A bunch of Talib sister-molesters are gathering for a jolly old time shooting the breeze, bowing towards Mecca, firing their AK-47s into the air (and subsequently being mightily surprised when gravity, being wholly unmentioned in the only book that Hajis are familiar with, kicks in and rains very fast objects on their pointed, dishtowel-covered heads) and, of course, a spot of stringing up infidels by the neck until dead.

Sounds like a fun time in the goatshit-covered backwaters of Bumfuckistan, doesn’t it?

Well, it would be if it wasn’t for the Air Force dropping in to partake in the festivities as well:

The U.S.-led coalition said Friday it had launched an air strike on a meeting of top Taliban commanders in a militant stronghold in Afghanistan, and local officials said more than a dozen rebels and civilians had been killed.

Taliban militants were hanging two local people accused of spying for the government. Other villagers had come out to watch when the bombs fell, he said.

Here’s a hint for anybody else in the region unable to resist the urge to come out and rubberneck when the Talibs are busy murdering:

Beware the Explosive Precipitation Advisory, m’kay?

Or not. It’s not like we really care, you know.

UPDATE: Courtesy of Sir Christopher, here are some more details:

The Taliban’s commander for southern Afghanistan, Mansoor Dadullah, was among those targeted, according to unconfirmed reports.

The Afghan Defence Ministry said that the airstrike took place as Taliban leaders gathered to watch the public hanging of several alleged government spies.

Dadullah replaced his older brother Mullah Dadullah Akhund after he was killed by the Special Boat Service (SBS) in Helmand on May 17th.

The younger Dadullah was interviewed by Channel 4 last week promising a wave of kidnaps of foreigners in the province. He threatened to have them beheaded by child executioners.

We remember that particular mooselimb turd, don’t we? We certainly remember the video of one little boy being taught how to hack the head off of somebody. G-d willing, he won’t be teaching anybody anything anymore, but Satan’s most sadistic demons will be busy teaching him a few tricks.

The Afghan defence ministry claimed that intelligence reports indicated the presence of Mansoor Dadullah at the targeted meeting. The senior Taliban commander for Helmand, Mullah Rahim, was also reported killed.

That’s quite a bit of turnover in Taliban management as of late, isn’t it? For some reason, the mentally deficient Assholes for Allah can’t seem to hold on to a job for very long before they, quite literally, fly out the door. We have to admit, however, that they’re being quite innovative in their downsizing procedures. At least we never knew that the word “severance” in “severance package” could refer to limbs and body parts as well.

Oh, and the obligatory bull:

Nasibullah, one of the injured, said the bomb hit a crowded market killing dozens of civilians and that no Taliban were in the area.

“Blah, blah, blah, wedding party, yadda, yadda, orphanage, bleh, bleh, bleh baby milk factory, oink, oink, oink, religion of peace…”

We finished that one for you, Haji. You’re quite welcome. Now kindly die. In horrible, soul-destroying agony, if you don’t mind terribly much.

Thatisall.

39 Responses to “Gate-Crashing”
  1. cmblake6 Comment by cmblake6

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    Soooo, when do we equip C130s with cropdusting units, fill the tanks with collected pig piss, and treat the area to the appropriate ablutions? BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  2. LC Secular Priest Comment by LC Secular Priest

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    Bumfuckistan…hmmm…can’t seem to find it on the map…Oh, THERE it is! Right next to Crapistan!

    What I want to know is…what the hell did Stan do to get so many countries named after him?

  3. Unregistered Comment by Cheryl

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    :em94: Here’s to the US Air Force. That’s more like it. Of course now we’ll hear protests about how the e-e-e-evil Americans murdered innocent civilians who were only going about their daily business. I can only hope that the “guests” of the necktie party somehow managed to escape.

  4. fargus Comment by fargus

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    I love it when the gate crashers bring enough party favors for everyone! :em71:

  5. LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR Comment by LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    “Blah, blah, blah, wedding party, yadda, yadda, orphanage, bleh, bleh, bleh baby milk factory, oink, oink, oink, religion of peace…”

    Dangit, I was all locked and loaded to finish up the piece with the obligatory “wedding party or kindergarten graduation ceremony.

    But then again,

    Nasibullahshite, one of the injured, said…

    Just couldn’t resist that one. I wonder if they use some type of auto ‘innocent bystander’ name generator and a random, market, wedding, school, hospital location gimmick to complete the story. Just thinking out loud here….

  6. maxxdog Comment by maxxdog

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    Dadullah? Correction, Deadullah! heh

  7. Unregistered Comment by Wrenchbender

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    “We certainly remember the video of one little boy being taught how to hack the head off of somebody. G-d willing, he won’t be teaching anybody anything anymore, but Satan’s most sadistic demons will be busy teaching him a few tricks.

    Pineapple Allah Butt? :em99:

  8. Unregistered Comment by leoni2

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    So, we got two more of the Tally losers? Good for our boys. I wonder when those idiots will realize that being a Tally leader is a career-ending position, or rather a one-way trip to the grave? Hopefully never, just means more of them to destroy with very extreme prejudice.

  9. Serious Sean Comment by Serious Sean

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    Another few martyrs! ULULULULULULULU!!!! Say hello to Usama for me, ya hear? Score another for the Great Infidel Air Force™

  10. Unregistered Comment by mindy1

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    Good aim-I hope only taliban were hurt, and if so :em93: :em69:

  11. CiSSnarl5.7 Comment by CiSSnarl5.7

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    For those book junkies like me on the Rott, I Just read a very intersting book related to Afghanistan.

    “The Kite Runner”

    It’s a fictional account written by an Afghani immigrant in the US. Quite an interesting yarn, and well worth the time.

    For more information visit:

    http://www.amazon.com/Kite-Runner-Khaled-Hosseini/dp/1594480001/ref=pd_bbs_2/102-6327972-3147368?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1186311508&sr=1-2

    Snarl

  12. sig94 Comment by sig94

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    One of the services of the Taliban Executive Development Agency is to measure future terrorist CEO’s for a show box…

    Their Golden Parachute retirement plan is a sponge mop. :em58:

  13. Unregistered Pingback by Inoperable Terran » Helpful hint

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    […] the Taliban are staging a big meeting with public hangings, don’t go rubberneck. You never know what’s gonna drop in uninvited from an F-16. Posted by Ian S. […]

  14. LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech Comment by LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    What’s the Hebrew word for BooYaa! ?

  15. L.C. Mope, Imperial Offsetter Comment by L.C. Mope, Imperial Offsetter

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    …and John Kerry* asks Osama “How do you osk a mon to be the last mon to die for jihad?”

    Jinjizz Khan, indeed.

    *(didja know John Kerry served in Viet Nam?)

  16. kwongdzu Comment by kwongdzu

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    I want to know if the alleged spies escaped.

  17. Emperor Misha I Comment by Emperor Misha I

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    Good aim-I hope only taliban were hurt, and if so :em93: :em69:

    Me too, mindy, although I have to admit that I wouldn’t be losing too much sleep about the rubberneckers getting caught in the fun either.

    There’s something about life forms considering death, mayhem and murder “entertainment” that just rubs me the wrong way.

  18. LC&IB Vulcanrider Comment by LC&IB Vulcanrider

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Me too, mindy, although I have to admit that I wouldn’t be losing too much sleep about the rubberneckers getting caught in the fun either.

    Agreed, but there’s a small point that has to be brought out about the “rubberneckers”. There’s a very high probability that they were forced to witness this application of Taliban “justice”. I’m sure that more than one were there for their own “pleasure”, but I know from experience that the Taliban loves to make sure they expose as many villagers to the horror they’d face if they cross them.

    And then they get to play the “Blah, blah, blah, wedding party, yadda, yadda, orphanage, bleh, bleh, bleh baby milk factory, oink, oink, oink, religion of peace…” card. And the MSM can’t resist reporting on the 8 year old boy that was taken to the hospital.

  19. LC MeMyselfAndEye Comment by LC MeMyselfAndEye

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    Good aim-I hope only taliban were hurt, and if so :em93: :em69:

    On the contrary; I hope a few “innocents” (AKA known associates) got the chop, too. If they were present, they were at least sympathetic to the cause. Pretty soon, though, they might figure out that hanging around that crowd isn’t such a good idea.

  20. psychochick Comment by psychochick

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    Leoni2
    “one-way trip to the grave”

    unfortunately, if dying for the cause makes you a martyr going to heaven and gets you off this mortal coil, it’s not much incentive to worry about your life

  21. Sir Guido Cabrone, LC, M.o.P. Comment by Sir Guido Cabrone, LC, M.o.P.

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    Goin’ up, goin’ up, in a puff of smoke,
    Goin’ up, goin’ up, goin’ up, up, up!

  22. Unregistered Comment by leoni2

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    PC,

    unfortunately, if dying for the cause makes you a martyr going to heaven and gets you off this mortal coil, it’s not much incentive to worry about your life

    Uhm, you did read my entire comment, right?

    I wonder when those idiots will realize that being a Tally leader is a career-ending position, or rather a one-way trip to the grave? Hopefully never, just means more of them to destroy with very extreme prejudice.

    I think I was, in my own way, hoping that they didn’t stop taking the job. Context, context, context.

  23. psychochick Comment by psychochick

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    Leoni2
    sorry–rough weekend (not fun)

  24. Sir Guido Cabrone, LC, M.o.P. Comment by Sir Guido Cabrone, LC, M.o.P.

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    Psychochick

    unfortunately, if dying for the cause makes you a martyr going to heaven and gets you off this mortal coil, it’s not much incentive to worry about your life

    Who was the Marine officer who said “This is the perfect war. They want to die, and we want to kill them.”?

  25. psychochick Comment by psychochick

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    Guido
    That does wonders for my mood!

  26. Unregistered Comment by leoni2

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    PC,

    sorry–rough weekend (not fun)

    Apology accepted. I’ve had a lot of those in my almost 46 years.

  27. Unregistered Comment by leoni2

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    Guido,

    Who was the Marine officer who said “This is the perfect war. They want to die, and we want to kill them.”?

    Crunchie might have a better idea, but the name General “Chesty” Puller keeps rattling in my head.

  28. SoCalOilMan, LC Comment by SoCalOilMan, LC

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    At wikipedia they didn’t have that particulat quatoe, but a man to be admired, never-the-less.

    * “All right, they’re on our left, they’re on our right, they’re in front of us, they’re behind us…they can’t get away this time.”
    * “Great. Now we can shoot at those bastards from every direction.”
    * “We’re surrounded. That simplifies our problem of getting to these people and killing them” [1]
    * “Remember, you are the 1st Marines! Not all the Communists in Hell can overrun you!”
    * “Take me to the Brig. I want to see the real Marines.”
    * “Alright you bastards, try and shoot me!” (to Korean forces)
    * “Where do you put the bayonet?” (upon seeing a flamethrower for the first time)
    * “You don’t hurt ‘em if you don’t hit ‘em.”
    * “I don’t give a good goddamn how many Chinese laundrymen there are between us and Hungnam. There aren’t enough in the world to stop a Marine regiment going where it wants to go. Christ in his mercy will see us through.”[7]

  29. SoCalOilMan, LC Comment by SoCalOilMan, LC

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    I’ll nominate that for my sloppiest quote of the year :em94:

  30. Unregistered Comment by leoni2

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    SoCalOilMan,

    Yeah, I saw those quotes by General Puller at Wikipedia when I went to make sure I’d gotten his name right. Yeah, sounds like the kind of Marine whould drive the KKKids nuts. :em95:

  31. Xystus Comment by Xystus

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    Mullahu FUBAR!

  32. SoCalOilMan, LC Comment by SoCalOilMan, LC

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    leoni2
    Just call me SoCal. I hate formality.

    P.S. You post as much as I do. When are you gonna make the commitment and tack that LC on your name?

  33. Unregistered Comment by leoni2

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    SoCal,

    Okay, SoCal it is.

    P.S. You post as much as I do. When are you gonna make the commitment and tack that LC on your name?

    And when I think I’d earned it.

  34. psychochick Comment by psychochick

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    Xystus
    OK, i’ve puzzled, and I can’t figure it out. What the hell does that mean?

  35. SoCalOilMan, LC Comment by SoCalOilMan, LC

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    Mullahu

    This I don’t know

    FUBAR

    This is easy
    Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition

    Also you have:SNAFU
    Situation Normal: All Fucked Up

  36. psychochick Comment by psychochick

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    SoCal
    Thanks for furthering my education!

  37. Emperor Misha I Comment by Emperor Misha I

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    And don’t forget (although it isn’t used as much as the other two):

    FUMTU, Fucked Up More Than Usual.

    In severity, it’s graded in between SNAFU and FUBAR.

  38. Emperor Misha I Comment by Emperor Misha I

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    leoni2: And when I think I’d earned it.

    We’re Sith. You’ve earned it whenever you decide to claim it and know that you can hold on to it against challengers. You don’t need my, or anybody else’s, approval.

    Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
    Through passion, I gain strength.
    Through strength, I gain power.
    Through power, I gain victory.
    Through victory, my chains are broken.
    The Force shall set me free.

    On a less geeky note:

    If you can claim it as yours, it is yours. None can take it away from you. You are what you are. You will defend what you are against all comers, friend and foe. You will not conform to please anybody. You will follow only those who speak the truth, and if you disagree, you will speak out and be heard or destroy them. You are nobody’s slave, you are nobody’s follower, you are you and if you choose to travel with somebody, it will be as a member of pack, not a herd, an individual free to leave at any time of your own choosing.

    You will change only when proven wrong and, if proven wrong, you will accept it as a part of your education, not as a shame, for we all grow stronger through learning. Being wrong and admitting to it is not a weakness, it is wrongheadedness leaving the self.

    Weakness is abandoning the truths you hold self-evident without proof. Weakness is submitting to force, threats or peer pressure rather than strength of argument.

    You will not be weak. You will hold true to what you believe in and you will never submit to anything but superior logic and reason. You will question anybody resorting to the former and abandoning the latter. You will argue with your best friend if need be if you find him wrongheaded and, at the end of the argument, you will either agree to disagree and shake hands or one of you will change his opinion. Neither of you will “lose”, both of you will have grown wiser.

    You will harm no-one unless the absence of harm will cause greater harm to come to you and those for whom you are responsible. When forced to do harm, you will do as much harm as is necessary to protect you and yours from harm, but you will do no more harm than that.

    You will show no mercy to those who will show none to you, and you will do no harm to those who wish no harm upon you.

    You will love when possible and hate when necessary, but only until the threat is no more.

    You will die for what you truly believe in and discard that in which you do not, for it is unimportant.

    Passion is power, use it freely and use it wisely. Without passion, life is nothing.

    Make no excuses when you believe that you’re right, and do not hesitate to admit it when you learn that you were wrong.

    Believe in that, and you are an LC, no matter where you come from and no matter who you are.

  39. Unregistered Comment by leoni2

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    Misha I,

    Ah, I see. Well, if that’s the case, I’ll add on the LC as soon as I’m able to.