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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Arkansas Drops Ball, Allows Cradle Robbing
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Sometimes you just can’t make this shit up.

Mistaken Ark. law would let toddlers wed

Being that it is Arkansas, home of the bent-appendage from Hope, the alleged mistake might not be all that far off their intentions.

A law passed this year allows Arkansans of any age — even infants — to marry if their parents agree, and the governor may have to call a special session to fix the mistake, lawmakers said Friday.

Now how cute would would this headline be: “The newly weds plan on a honeymoon visiting a nearby McDonald’s playland and will resume their kindergarten studies in the fall.”

The legislation was intended to establish 18 as the minimum age to marry but also allow pregnant teenagers to marry with parental consent, bill sponsor Rep. Will Bond said. An extraneous “not” in the bill, however, allows anyone who is not pregnant to marry at any age if the parents allow it.

They must be using recently fired editors from the Old Constipated Lady writing their legislation. But then again, the staff are no doubt gradeates from the Arkandsaw Publik Skools.

“It’s clearly not the intent to allow 10-year-olds or 11-year-olds to get married,” Bond said. “The legislation was screwed up.”

I should certainly hope so, what parent would give up a perfectly good tax deduction 7 or 8 years early?

The bill reads: “In order for a person who is younger than eighteen (18) years of age and who is not pregnant to obtain a marriage license, the person must provide the county clerk with evidence of parental consent to the marriage.”

A code revision commission — which fixes typographical and technical errors in laws — had tried to correct the mistake, but a group of legislators said Friday the commission went beyond its powers.

As in the commission exceeded it’s reading comprehension abilities?

“You’re either pregnant or you’re not pregnant,” Sen. Dave Bisbee said. “Rarely will that be a typographical error.”

The Senator also shows his lack of articulation, allowing that somewhere between preggers and not, there could be an error, unfortunately typography wouldn’t be involved.

The Arkansas Legislative Council asked the independent commission to reverse its correction. Several lawmakers said a special session may be necessary.

“We need a special session to fix this,” Sen. Sue Madison said. “I am concerned about pedophiles coming to Arkansas to find parents who are willing to sign a very young child’s consent.”

Sue, why not just put up new signs at all the state boundary crossings? I think most sentient beings would conclude that an absolutely disgusting situation like that could occur if left uncorrected. However, if that was the case, I think a quick visit to Judge Lynch would be in order for the pedophile and the parents consenting.

Before the new law took effect July 31, girls could get married with parental consent at 16 and boys at 17.

The Legislature formally adjourned its session in May and is not scheduled to meet again until January 2009, unless Gov. Mike Beebe calls a special session.

That’s OK, regardless of when you fix the issue, we’ll have a side-splitting laugh at your expense.

26 Responses to “Arkansas Drops Ball, Allows Cradle Robbing”
  1. L.C. Mope, Imperial Offsetter Comment by L.C. Mope, Imperial Offsetter

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Incredible. So, if an infant were to marry a octogenarian with, say, a GOVERNMENT pension, that infant could be set for life!

    Exceelent. When does the revolution start?

  2. Radical Redneck Comment by Radical Redneck

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    An extraneous “not” in the bill, however, allows anyone who is not pregnant to marry at any age if the parents allow it.

    What if the infant was going to marry his parent/sibling/aunt (all the same person - after all it is Arkansas)?

    cue: “Dueling Banjos” :shock:

  3. B.C., Imperial Torturer™ Comment by B.C., Imperial Torturer™

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Now all of Arkansas’ 13 years olds will have to run over to West Virginia to marry their 14 year old cousins. Maybe they can carpool with the undocumented illegal Messicans on their way to pick coal in the WV coal fields?

  4. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Considering the last famous Arkansasian couldn’t define “is”, I can see where an extra “not” can cause them so much trouble.

  5. psychochick Comment by psychochick

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    This is really pathetic.

    I actually know someone from Arkansas who had moved to California. She dropped out of high school to get married at 15. (This was years ago.) Several of her relatives got married at 14. She had a kid almost immediately, and her husband also dropped out of high school. Surprisingly, they were married for 49 years until the death of the husband. I never have high hopes for the teenaged marriages.

  6. Unregistered Comment by NR Pax

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Here’s where I get puzzled. Why the hell do you need a “special session” to correct this? Why not just get everyone together five minutes early the next morning, make the correction, vote it into law and then get your coffee?

  7. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Now, look, ya’ll. This is ARKANSAS we’re talkin’ about. What in the WORLD makes you think this was a mistake and not a fast one some Redneck did on purpose? “Hey, Ya’ll! Watch this!”

    =============

    BC:

    As stupid as it sounds, there are several states where it’s legal to get married at 13. (IIRC, there were 10 of them. Tennessee, Maryland and DC were on the list. Sorry I don’t remember the rest off the top of my head.) In some of them, first cousins can marry.

    Maybe Arkansas is onto a tend?

  8. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Oh, and they don’t have to run all the way to West Virginia. Tennessee is one of the states that allow 13 year old First Cousins to marry. West Virginia is another 400 miles . . .

  9. Merc, Imperial SomethingorOther Comment by Merc, Imperial SomethingorOther

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    WOW! :em41: What a bunch of idiots….
    Oh and the RSS is busted again… :em98:
    YAY! MORE WEST VIRIGINIA and CLINTON JOKES!! :em94:
    (possibly the two funniest categories of jokes ever….)

  10. B.C., Imperial Torturer™ Comment by B.C., Imperial Torturer™

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Bill Klintoon looked into opening an office in West Virginia once, back in the day, but decided against it. He couldn’t find any females over 15 who still had teeth to scrape along his bent banana.

  11. B.C., Imperial Torturer™ Comment by B.C., Imperial Torturer™

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    WV coal miners are some of the bravest, hardiest men in the world, but when the US gov’t did a survey of them, while searching for an OB/GYN when Shillary first entered the WH back in ‘93, they consistently heard “Are you fuckin’ NUTS?!?! Thar ain’t no amount o’ money or white lightnin’ that’d make me go into THAT horrid tunnel!”

    After a fruitless search, the EPA decided that it would be safer (and more cost effective) to just plug up the offending hole with concrete. The ensuing drain on the world’s cement supply pushed China’s Three Gorges Dam project back several years.

  12. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    BC
    :em99: :em99: :em99:
    You ARE the master!

  13. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    BC!

    :em99: :em99: :em99: :em99: :em99: :em99:

    OMG!

  14. Unregistered Comment by mindy1

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    B.C WHAT ARE YOU SMOKING? :em98: I heard of a state legislature, where one member, so annoyed at his collegues ineptitude, tried to pass a bill honoring the boston strangler just to see if they would notice;they passed the bill. :em41:

  15. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Mindy1:

    Remember, this is Arkansas.

    The same people who, in the early 1960’s, passed a law making pi exactly equal to 3. I imagine that life would be exciting as all the wheels in the state suddenly turned into hexagons . . .

    Never underestimate the power of Human Stupidity.

  16. Unregistered Comment by Infidel River Rat

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    YEEEEE-Haw, AR-kin*PTUI*-*ding!*shaw!!! Them same funny folks thet dun gave us ‘ol “Blowjob Willie”!

  17. sig94 Comment by sig94

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    My wife’s gramma was married at 14, but that was the eye-talian way. Grampa knew what he liked and didn’t wanna wait. They raised a family during the Depression. They married for life. Just because you’re poor, simple folk doesn’t mean you have to play the fool.

  18. Unregistered Comment by JonB

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    I find it a bit of a stretch to believe that this was actually a mistake.
    The truth of that will be shown in whether or not the politicians reverse the law and nullify any marraiges that took place while it was active.
    If they say “ok, laws been fixed, but anyone who got married during this time is exempt” then you know there’s a politician, or wealthy person who donates to a politician, somewhere that is legally married to a 4 year old.

  19. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Same with my grandparents Sig. Married young, had 18 kids, Depression era farmers and moonshiners, still married when Gramps died at 93.

  20. Unregistered Comment by LC & IB Random Numbers

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    NR: They have to call a special session for this because they only meet for legislation once every year (or is it two, like Texas?).

  21. DJ Allyn,  ITW Comment by DJ Allyn, ITW

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    “We need a special session to fix this,” Sen. Sue Madison said. “I am concerned about pedophiles coming to Arkansas to find parents who are willing to sign a very young child’s consent.”

    Could you imagine the reaction a parent would have if they got this knock at the door:

    [knock knock]

    YOU: “Yes?”

    62-year-old man: “Hi, my name is Billy, and I have been admiring your little four-year-o…”

    BLAM!

  22. Unregistered Comment by TheRoyalFamily

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    I guess the pregnant 14-year-olds will have to wait until they have the baby to get married now…

  23. Lady Heather Comment by Lady Heather

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    62-year-old man: “Hi, my name is Billy, and I have been admiring your little four-year-o…”

    A friend of my sister’s lived in the Middle East for a while, with his wife and young blonde haired daughter, less than 8 years old.

    Some strange Saudi came up to him one day and asked how much his daughter was. :em96:

  24. Unregistered Comment by leoni2, LC

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    BC,

    You, sir, are a cut up!!!

    :em99: :em99: :em99:

  25. Unregistered Comment by Infidel River Rat

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Lady H, you’re right on the money, that’s the ME mentality on women in a nutshell!! BC, that was sick, I LIKED IT!! Hey, DJ, that’s the best avatar I’ve seen yet, I’m jealous!

  26. LittleRott84 Comment by LittleRott84

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    A friend of my sister’s lived in the Middle East for a while, with his wife and young blonde haired daughter, less than 8 years old.

    Some strange Saudi came up to him one day and asked how much his daughter was.

    What a sicko.