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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Terrorists Threaten to Raise Planetary Average IQ by an Order of Magnitude
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(Via the Jawa Report).

David Beckham and Justin Timberlake are the targets of an alleged Al-Qaeda murder plot.

A chilling internet video, which has been posted on YouTube, brands Becks, 32, and JT, 26, as criminal influences on young Muslims.

Fellow footballers Wayne Rooney and Thierry Henry, as well as rapper P Diddy, are also mentioned.

Why is Al-Qaeda trying to do us a favor all of a sudden?

I’m confused.

60 Responses to “Terrorists Threaten to Raise Planetary Average IQ by an Order of Magnitude”
  1. LC Gunsniper Comment by LC Gunsniper

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    Someone tell Al-Qaeda it’s too late to get on our good side.

  2. NevadaDailySteve Comment by NevadaDailySteve

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    “Fellow footballers”

    I thought they played soccer! :em95:

    Folks in these here parts knows the difference.

  3. kwongdzu Comment by kwongdzu

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    Is there another list with Britney, Lindsay, and Paris on it?

  4. hitnrun Comment by hitnrun

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    Call me a genius, but when I read the word “Becks” I knew the domain of the article link would end in co.uk.

  5. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    The soccer players I could care less about one way or ,tuther, but Timberlake and P Diddy, oh the horrors, Al Quada and I agree on something. shudder

    If they were to bump these two off though, can you imagine the consequences. Battalions of enraged, prebuscent teenyboppers and prostitots descending on the mountains of Pakistan, legions of bangers, thugs and gangsters doing drive by’s in Saudia Arabia, thousands of innocent bystanders gunned down by sideways shooting hoods, ‘67 Impalas bouncing through Baqubah while fitty cent beats “The Battle Hymn of the Republic”.

    War is cruel enough.

  6. MuscleDaddy Comment by MuscleDaddy

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    Is there a way to submit names?

    Thinking Federline, here.

    - MuscleDaddy

  7. ohio right wing nut Comment by ohio right wing nut

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    CRUNCHIE

    :em99: :em99: :em99: :em99:

  8. Unregistered Comment by hawkeye54

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    Is there a way to submit names?

    Thinking Federline, here.

    - MuscleDaddy

    I’m sure they will be delighted to take requests. When you find out let us know, we can add to the list. The more the merrier!

  9. Unregistered Comment by leoni2, LC

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    :em99:

    I’m suppose to be trembling in fear about losing those mentioned? They’re actually doing us all a service. So, go ahead and shot them. I’ll be drinking some root beer while it happens. :em95:

  10. LC&IB Vulcanrider Comment by LC&IB Vulcanrider

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    I have a whole list of requests too, Muscle, let me know what you find out.

    Ah hell, just send them the members list of the Democratic Party…

  11. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil

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    The soccer players I could care less about one way or ,tuther, but Timberlake and P Diddy, oh the horrors, Al Quada and I agree on something. shudder

    Scary thought, ain’t it?

    ========================

    Mayhaps, if I werew to send my “little list”. Hmmmm . . .

  12. Unregistered Comment by hawkeye54

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    Ah hell, just send them the members list of the Democratic Party

    Wait a minute, aren’t the Dems their friends?

  13. Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur Comment by Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur

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    I nominate Rosie O’Doughnuts, and Mikey Moron. :em95:

  14. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

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    David Beckham and Justin Timberlake are the targets of an alleged Al-Qaeda murder plot.

    What…No Posh???? What’s a slutty, spoiled rotten, no talent tramp gotta do to get an Al-Qaeda death threat too?? :em71:

  15. LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech Comment by LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech

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    I nominate Rosie O’Doughnuts, and Mikey Moron.

    They won’t get their virgins if they get any mikey on them..

  16. LC MoMinuteMan Comment by LC MoMinuteMan

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    Rosie and Mikey are safe ‘cuz they are on A-Q’s side.
    Regarding the rest, A-Q prolly thinks that we’ll go tits up if we don’t have our daily dose of Whollyweird stupidity…

  17. Sir Guido Cabrone, LC, M.o.P. Comment by Sir Guido Cabrone, LC, M.o.P.

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    Why is Al-Qaeda trying to do us a favor all of a sudden?

    Now THIS is a classic case of stopped clock syndrome!!!

    Ah hell, just send them the members list of the Democratic Party…

    There are some Democrats out there with clue. We can redact all ten of them.

    Now about the entire registered voters listing of the failed state of MassiveTwoShits?

  18. LC MoMinuteMan Comment by LC MoMinuteMan

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Now kids, I’m gonna leave the room and degrunge myself in the shower, and while I’m gone, I want you all to get together and decide who it was from the “Shit Happens” post that put a voodoo zombie curse on me..

    The Ol’ Lady calls me from the Dr.’s office and sez, “My car’s broke, only goes clikey-clikey, come rescue me.” I sez, “OK, let me get my leotard and cape and I’ll be there ASAP.” Get to parking lot, check battery, green eye is red. OK. Take battery out, head to O’Reilly’s for new one. Get to end of block, clutch goes out on my ‘96 Ranger.

    OK. Call friend for ride, call motel owner for advise on tranny repair, both say, “On the way!”. Owner picks up new Battery for car, nice guy. Replace Batt, return The Ol’ Lady to work, take car to O’Reilly’s for alternator check. Alt. shot. New alt.=$200 $50 core. Shit.

    Call salvage yard. Used Alt.=$40 $5 core. Comes with limited lifetime warranty almost as good as $200 new one. WHOO-HOO!! Sold! Go get new used alternator and replace old one. Sweat ass off.

    New battery = $75

    New used alternator = $40

    Busted knuckles = $free

    Having car start on first lick and pass charging system check with flying colors = PRICELESS!!

    Having clutchless truck stuck on parking lot with no idea how much repair bill will be yet = TEH SUXOR!!!1!!1

  19. Sir Guido Cabrone, LC, M.o.P. Comment by Sir Guido Cabrone, LC, M.o.P.

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    Just in case you ever wondered about the NAACP…

  20. psychochick Comment by psychochick

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    Nevada
    soccer is called football in the UK

    Mrs. M
    You are so harsh! She can gyrate on stage–doesn’t that count for something? Although so can a stripper.

  21. Unregistered Comment by DukeFenton

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    I dunno, I’m not so keen on offing Beckham. Admittedly he’s no rocket scientist, but he’s somewhat brighter than a turnip. More importantly, as long as he keeps Posh busy she has no incentive to go back to singing. :em38:

  22. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

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    as long as he keeps Posh busy she has no incentive to go back to singing. :em38:

    I guess there IS a silver lining to every cloud. But do we have to have a glamor obsessed press telling us every freaking detail? :em12:

  23. Emperor Misha I Comment by Emperor Misha I

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    I dunno, I’m not so keen on offing Beckham. Admittedly he’s no rocket scientist, but he’s somewhat brighter than a turnip.

    Heh. Beckham. I don’t know how or why some people, not necessarily you, I’m just off on a tangent here, got the bright idea that he was a Boy Wonder who would Save American Soccer™!!!1!!

    I mean, I hate to have to break it to the Galaxy fans out there who think he hung the moon, but soccer players of his caliber, while certainly not bad, are really not that much of an exception in Europe. And most good soccer players suck the wind out of a twister when it comes to coaching. One does NOT follow the other.

    But hey, in the land of the blind… ;)

  24. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

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    Although so can a stripper.

    :em99: Although I wouldn’t know anything about that, really.

  25. Sir Christopher Comment by Sir Christopher

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    Study: Tyrannosaurus Rex Could Outrun David Beckham

    Crunchie, hilarious…but you’d have to count my 15 year old in with that crowd.. she loves Justin, plus i actually dig is most recent CD…have it on my iPod.

    but she also loves good stuff like The Clash, Zeppelin and Beck.

  26. Sir Christopher Comment by Sir Christopher

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    woah, that was kinda trippy, how my comment just spilled onto the page, and didn’t need it to be reloaded.

  27. Unregistered Comment by LC Staci GBOR

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    as long as he keeps Posh busy she has no incentive to go back to singing.

    Uh, I heard the Spice Whores are getting back together. That will earn their name on all hate lists.

    I look at this as a bright sign in a way. It is obvious they hate the west because of the “evil” here. Well, if one thinks for a second…what do they consider evil? I think if you look at the shit that freaks them out…it would make Hollywood and San Franscisco a prime target. Methinks al Qaeda has not participated in those parades of freaks that zombietime.com provides us. I would bet my bottom dollar that would put them right on the list.

    Just make sure we have an escape route for some of our embattled LCs living in liberal-freakland.

    I also surprised crotch grabbing whorebag Madonna isn’t on that list. Maybe it’s a lady thing.

  28. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

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    Well Chris, if they get justin and she goes to Pakistan, have her pop a haji for me, mkay? Is she really fifteen already?! Man, where has the time gone. My little girls just had their first day of school, pre-K. We’re getting old buddy.

    I know you’re a good musician so I’ll just accept that you like Justin’s newest CD and leave it at that :em93:

  29. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

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    I also surprised crotch grabbing whorebag Madonna isn’t on that list. Maybe it’s a lady thing.

    More like they’re afraid of being unclean if any of her should splatter on them. The whole prohibition against pig thing.

  30. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

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    Mrs. M
    You are so harsh!

    Well I have yet to see one redeeming quality she has. The press are determined to deep throat that couple on us, and other than a penchant for skin tight clothes, high heels, sunglasses and an asymmetrical haircut, she’s pretty much an empty shell. Just another bimbo like Brittany, Lindsay and all the rest of those over paid celebrity whores. They think that just their glorified presence alone is supposed to justify their spoiled lifestyle.

    Where oh where have the Kathrine Hepburns of this world gone??? :em98:

  31. BobF Comment by BobF

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    This should go to show people that Islamists want to kill everybody, no matter who or what they are.

  32. Unregistered Pingback by Doing us a favor

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    […] is threatening to kill David Beckham and Justin Timberlake. Oh, please, anything but […]

  33. Unregistered Comment by seagoon

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    67 Impalas bouncing through Baqubah while fitty cent beats “The Battle Hymn of the Republic”.

    War is cruel enough.

    Werd, homez.

  34. LC HJ Caveman82952 Comment by LC HJ Caveman82952

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Gawd, Crunchie…yer makin’ me feel old. My daughter is going back to college next year. But the time does go by fast, Crunchie…faster than you think. Someday your little girls, and they will always be your little girls………they will bring home male humanoids for you to interrogate, I mean talk to. I simply left copies of Guns and Ammo and the latest issue of Commieplot or Soldier of Fortune on the coffeetable. Always was the subtle sort, like my NRA decals on the front door……..for one thing I pointed out, and will never tolerate……abuse. But her male friends all thought I was cool…crazy but cool. Whatever that means….

  35. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

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    Well Caveman I intend to be cleaning a shotgun when the first scuzbucket..er I mean suitor is brought home. Tried to convince bangie thing that two girls means I get two shotguns. She didn’t think so.

  36. Unregistered Comment by ballistic

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    As if any self-respecting gangster would be seen in anything but a ‘64 Impala. :em93:

  37. SoCalOilMan, LC Comment by SoCalOilMan, LC

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    The Emperor dictates:

    I mean, I hate to have to break it to the Galaxy fans out there who think he hung the moon, but soccer players of his caliber, while certainly not bad, are really not that much of an exception in Europe.

    I believe it’s one of those Lefty things that anything they do anywhere in the world has to be better than what we’ve got here.

    I work with Mexicans, and have tried to get involved with their passion for futbol. but it usually ends up with them laughing at me for falling asleep in the second half and missing the “exciting” finish where nobody scored…or even better, the defense lines up and covers their nuts, free kick to decide the champion of the world.

    I read somewhere over the last week, I’m on vacation, so I don’t remember where at this time, that baseball was taking off in Iraq to the point the soldiers can’t build fields fast enough.

  38. chuck Comment by chuck

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    One point everyone has missed is how do these idiots deserve a fatwah when our illustrious Emperor hasn’t gotten his yet

  39. Emperor Misha I Comment by Emperor Misha I

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    One point everyone has missed is how do these idiots deserve a fatwah when our illustrious Emperor hasn’t gotten his yet

    Too true, chuck, too true. Which is yet another reason why I don’t care if those unworthy amateurs get whacked. They’re stealing what is rightfully MINE, dammit!

    I believe it’s one of those Lefty things that anything they do anywhere in the world has to be better than what we’ve got here.

    Actually, SoCal, I believe it’s more a case of (no offense intended here, just turn it around and imagine Euroweenies trying to pick a Truly Great Baseball Player™) the twats in CA not having the first fucking clue what a Truly Great Soccer Player™ is, much less the limitations of his talents. To them, anything that looks better than the U.S. national soccer team must be absolutely cosmically fantastic and, quite frankly, I’ve seen 3rd division bottom scrapers in the Euro soccer leagues look better than the U.S. national team. They’re getting better, though, and with hard work they might even one day become truly good.

    Not that it matters. I never cared much for soccer myself (imagine the fun I had with that attitude, growing up Over There) and, besides, it’s not our national sport. Conversely, there are European football teams and trust me, if you saw the best of them playing you’d be laughing your butts off. I know I was.

  40. SoCalOilMan, LC Comment by SoCalOilMan, LC

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    My Emperor
    The only thing I’ll take umbrage with is the:

    the twats in CA not having the first fucking clue what a Truly Great Soccer Player™ is, much less the limitations of his talents.

    You’re right, I figured he was getting close to the end of his career, kinda like when we got Gretsky for the Kings.

    We just gave them the money and location they (Beckem and his lovely bride) wanted. Any other city that could have matched could have had them. I think the thing that got them is his wife could “resurrect” her career out here. :em99:

    As long as they’re not demanding we build a whole new stadium for them, let them keep their hopes up. I won’t be contributing to their gate to pay him.

  41. Unregistered Comment by seagoon

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    when we got Gretsky for the Kings

    A day which was a sad day for Canadians, even though he was getting old….

  42. akornzombie Comment by akornzombie

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    Hmmmm, lets see here: Ragheads want to kill a guy who’s past his prime in a sport that America couldn’t a fuck about, and a washed up member of a highly annoying boy band?

    Win -win people! :em93:

  43. Lady Heather Comment by Lady Heather

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    I’ve seen 3rd division bottom scrapers in the Euro soccer leagues look better than the U.S. national team. They’re getting better, though, and with hard work they might even one day become truly good.

    When people have put down our national team, I only need remind them if they can even field a national basketball team. At least we’ve made it to the World Cup. (No offense taken, Sire. Just sayin’ ;))

    Also, leave Becks out of it. The guy is HOT, and it’s his wife that is so hungry for publicity. I’m sure he’d still be playing for Manchester United had it not been for her. IMHO.

  44. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil

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    when we got Gretsky for the Kings

    Sounds like a hell of a deal! Wonder what I could get for Pete Rose?

  45. LC smaug6 Comment by LC smaug6

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    Well I also could care less about these individuals except they are members of western civilization and FUCK Al-Qaeda wanting to murder any of us no matter how trivial. I think all of them should be the victim of a Zionist elimination plot. Just saying. :em96:

  46. LC smaug6 Comment by LC smaug6

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    Oh and on the soccer thing. All out talent goes to three major sports that allow humans to use their ARMS for something other than balance.

  47. Emperor Misha I Comment by Emperor Misha I

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    When people have put down our national team, I only need remind them if they can even field a national basketball team. At least we’ve made it to the World Cup. (No offense taken, Sire. Just sayin’ ;))

    And you’re absolutely right (and no offense taken). When I “put down” the U.S. soccer team it’s not meant as an insult, it’s just an objective evaluation from somebody who grew up in a country where towns that can’t field their own soccer team are so small they’re not even on the map, much less called “towns.”

    I mean, in itty-bitty Denmark with all of 5 million people total there are about 60 professional teams in the big leagues alone. You start playing soccer at the tender age of 5 or 6 and you keep playing it until you’re too old to walk. That’s ALL you play. Several times a week in whatever club you’re a member of plus every chance you get in your free time, school recesses etc. You learn the names of all the major teams and most of the major players before you learn to do your multiplication tables, Saturday afternoons when the pros play are reserved for watching games (and if you happen to have a local team playing at some other time, you’ll most likely be going to watch those too), there is not a male child above the age of 7 that cannot recite the official soccer league rulebook from cover to cover without pausing, etc. etc. etc.

    With all that in mind (and other soccer nations are pretty much the same), it is, as you say, impressive that the U.S. soccer team can even make it to the World Cup. It would be like one of the funny European football teams making it to the NFL playoffs.

    So poking fun at the U.S. soccer team isn’t a “slam”, I’m surprised they’ve made it as far as they have and it really made me sit up and listen when we beat Mexico not too long ago. All I’m saying is that if we, as a nation, want our soccer teams to be truly competitive, it’ll take one heck of a lot more than Beckham to get there, just as some European team hiring Sammy Sosa as a baseball coach wouldn’t create a competitive European baseball culture.

    Oh, and Beckham IS overrated. Sorry to tell y’all, but he is. He’s not bad, not at all, but he’s also nowhere near as good or unique as the media (or the Galaxy fans) think he is.

  48. LC NCLivingBrit Comment by LC NCLivingBrit

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    Much as I dislike David Beckham and that Twig with Softballs he married, I have to acknowledge his talent on the field and off (he made looking like a hairdresser /rent boy an -asset- in a physically demanding sport, which requires a fair degree of nouse).

  49. NevadaDailySteve Comment by NevadaDailySteve

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    PC,

    Got it. Diapers are nappies, baby strollers are prams and they like to stick superfluous ‘u’s in words like color.

    The little smiley guy and the obviously exaggerated “Folks in these here parts knows the difference.” were intended to be clues that I was joking. I apologize for the lack of humour. I guess those of us living in this blasted flyover country just lack the sophistication of you coasties. :em99:

  50. LC Mike in Chi Comment by LC Mike in Chi

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    Oh ND-Steve, play nice now. PC sometimes forgets this is a comment line and not a chat room… :em95: :em93:

  51. Radical Redneck Comment by Radical Redneck

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    when we got Gretsky for the Kings…A day which was a sad day for Canadians, even though he was getting old….

    He was all of 27. He asked for the trade after being henpecked into it by wifey Janet “over/under” Jones who thought her career would skyrocket. As of now she’s doing infomercials with Jackie Chan! :em41:

  52. psychochick Comment by psychochick

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    Nevada
    Sorry–I totally misread you and have fits of occasional cluelessness

  53. AyUaxe Comment by AyUaxe

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    Just more taquiyah, the bastards!

  54. LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech Comment by LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech

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    Sorry–I totally misread you and have fits of occasional cluelessness

    I resemble that remark.
    That’s why it’s important to hang with folks that unnerstand,, let ya go off like yer gonna’,, then save your seat for ya when ya get back.

    The Rott. Yep.

  55. Merc, Imperial SomethingorOther Comment by Merc, Imperial SomethingorOther

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    Ohio Right Wing Nut's avatar
    “HEY EVERYBODY THIS GUYS A BROWN’S FAN!!!” :em58:
    There’s a long story behind that one, I’ll tell yall that one later. :em94:

  56. Merc, Imperial SomethingorOther Comment by Merc, Imperial SomethingorOther

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    Oh and no hard feelings ohio right wing nut :em69:
    I still love you. :em34:

  57. Merc, Imperial SomethingorOther Comment by Merc, Imperial SomethingorOther

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    Sowey about all the posts… :em98:
    But I :em34: your new avatar, sire. Sith Lightning FTW!

  58. Emperor Misha I Comment by Emperor Misha I

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    But I :em34: your new avatar, sire. Sith Lightning FTW!

    Nice, no? I thought it was about time I got something more befitting of my… my something or other :)

  59. Merc, Imperial SomethingorOther Comment by Merc, Imperial SomethingorOther

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    Nice, no? I thought it was about time I got something more befitting of my… my something or other :)

    I still don’t know what to make of that comment…I’m sure, knowing you, Sire, that it was in good taste. :em58:
    Now if BC had said that… :em38:

  60. Unregistered Comment by leoni2, LC

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    Wil,

    Sounds like a hell of a deal! Wonder what I could get for Pete Rose?

    Bwahahahahahahahaha! Wil, you’re killing me here. Nobody wants Pete Rose right now!!! The guy’s tainted goods, remembered? And it’s ain’t because he’d gambled. It’s because of all the years he’d denied that he gambled, thus lying to all of us. :em99: