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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » PFW:  Touchdown scored by…the third baseman???
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Denizens & LCs, we’ll start off this edition of the Perfect Football Weekend™ with a question:  If I told you that a Texas team laid an ass-whipping on Baltimore, 30-3, you’d think football, wouldn’t you?  You’d think to yourself, “Man, Brian Billick, Ray Lewis and the rest of those goons got their heads handed to them by the Cowboys.”  Some of you would even break out in happy dances, I’ll bet.    And you’d think it was the Cowboys, because the Houston Texannes…snx…the Texans…snxxxnxxxxx…the Tex…BWAHHH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!11~

Sorry, got carried away there for a second. Where was I…?  Ah, yes…

You’d be wrong.  Not only about the teams involved, but about the sport itself.  As you probably know by now, the Texass stRangers destroyed the Baltimore Orioles last night in the first game of a doubleheader, setting the modern record for runs scored in a single game by a single team (they also set the record for runs scored in a doubleheader, as they won the nightcap, 9-7).  Down 3-0 in the opener, they roared back on the strength of two grand-slam homers, two three-run shots, and 7 RBIs apiece from the bottom two slots in the batting order.

“Damn”, as former FlaState footballer Ron Simmons would say.

Which brings us around to football.  And Florida football (sort of), at that.  Tonight, Lefty Leftwich & the Jacksonville Jaguars visit the frozen rain-soaked tundra of Lambeau Field to take on Ancient Mariner™ Brett Favre and the Green Bay Packers.  Fox has the game with its #2 team, which means you’ll probably see more of Tony Siragusa than you really wanted to. 

Tomorrow night, CBS brings us a rematch of Super Bowl…uh, Super Bowl…

AUGUSTUS:  XXXVIII

LSIK&T:  Oh, yeah, right.  38.  Thanks, Augie.

AUGUSTUS:  !%@(#!#(#$(#%@*@!!!!!!!!

(He hates it when I call him “Augie”.  Which is, of course, why I do it.    )

Anyway, it’s a rematch of Super Bowl 38 as the Pats go to Carolina.  Jake Delhomme & company haven’t looked all that great to start, but good things are being predicted for the Pats this year.  Rumors that NE QB Tom Brady was having a customized papoose-pak made for him were unsubstantiated at press time.

Speaking of the Cowboys (and the Tex-annes, for that matter), they’ll hook up Saturday night in Houston.  It’ll be interesting to see how former Atlanta backup QB Matt Schaub fares behind that sieve of an offensive line (the guess from here is that you could put The World’s Greatest Quarterback Ever In The History Of Ever, Ever!!!™, Donna McFlabb, behind that line and he’d get killed).

Speaking of Team Clunky Soup©, they’ll join Madden, Michaels and the NBC Sunday Night crew in Pittsburgh for another intrastate matchup vs. Ben Rothelisberger and the Pittsburgh Steelers.  Pitt has its third head coach in the last forty years - dammitall, can’t Art Rooney get some stability  into that franchise? 

And speaking of Hotlanta, we’ll round out the weekend Monday night with the Falcons hosting the Cincinnati Bengals (it should  be on ESPN, but it’s not on the schedule, but why would it be on Monday night otherwise?).  The over/under for this game is six felony convictions.

We’re back Tuesday for the recap.  In the meantime, feel free to discuss Atlanta replacing Michael Vick with…Joey Harrington??? 

44 Responses to “PFW:  Touchdown scored by…the third baseman???”
  1. Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur Comment by Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Joey Harrington? The Detwoit Pussycats let him go?

  2. Unregistered Comment by Marvin2

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    But will the parole officers let the Bengals travel to Atlanta?

  3. ChefJeff Comment by ChefJeff

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    :em98: Must…not….hurt…Marvin2 :em98:

    Give my Bengals a break will ya? We haven’t had any arrests (for a little while) and I am proud that most of the players are not dumb enough to start that crap again with the new commish…

    WHO DEY!!!! Go Bengals!!!!

  4. HarleyRace Comment by HarleyRace

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    9/11, we’re taking to the streets - countrywide general strike! Were taking down the corporatist, fascist, Halliburton-bought Chimpy Regime!

    GET ON BOARD! NOW! :em69:

  5. jaybear Comment by jaybear

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    9/11, we’re taking to the streets - countrywide general strike! Were taking down the corporatist, fascist, Halliburton-bought Chimpy Regime!

    You go harley racist!! no work, no school….HIT THE STREETS!!!
    preferably after a 50 story jump

    asshole

  6. jaybear Comment by jaybear

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    oh yeahhhhhh

    let’s gooooooo Broncooooooos

    harley, go soil yourself in another thread…the adults are talkin’ football

  7. jaybear Comment by jaybear

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    Spats,

    did you say that Atlanta replaced michael vick with Joey Heatherton??

    Now THAT’s some kind of backfield :em95:

    hut one!!!

  8. LC & IB GuyS Comment by LC & IB GuyS

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    *perk* Joey Heatherton?!?!?! now that would make for some interesting “backfield in motion ™ ” shots!

    And even with dislexy Rexy da Bears are 2 and 0 for the pre-season! Go BEARS!!!!

  9. Dick Comment by Dick

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    Yeah, but the Rangers will suck til the end of time as we know it.
    They always have, always will.
    That team single handedly made me despise baseball.

  10. HarleyRace Comment by HarleyRace

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    Republicans don’t like football - they just love kicking around brown skin. :em08:

  11. Unregistered Comment by Azygos

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    Erv,

    Clean up on aisle 4 & 10.

    Troll hat anyone?

    Spats,

    I’m starting to like this football posts.

  12. LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR Comment by LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Republicans don’t like football

    Don’t see any of those EEevil Rethuglicans in here. But we’ll happily kick your ass around, be it white, brown, black or green.

  13. jaybear Comment by jaybear

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    Don’t see any of those EEevil Rethuglicans in here. But we’ll happily kick your ass around, be it white, brown, black or green.

    Better yet, let Joey kick it

    it's gooooood!!!

    looks to me like she’s got a range of about 45 yards.

    :em58: I’m trying really hard to get back on topic……

  14. Unregistered Comment by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant

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    I’m trying really hard to get back on topic…

    Oh, that’s okay, Jaybear.  These threads have a way of turning into open threads, anyway.

    Harley Racist, OTOH, is risking some serious bannage if he doesn’t STFU. 

  15. Unregistered Comment by leoni2, LC

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    I doubt the troll would say something like that in Philly. He wouldn’t last a second.

    You trying to scare me, Spat. I doubt any QB would lack a second behind the Titans’ offensive line. As for the Eagles and the Steelers, I’m hoping that Donnie boy rips them a new one this Sunday.

    As for the Rangers, were those guys playing football last night and the Orioles just didn’t realize it, or were they eating their wheaties?

  16. Unregistered Comment by leoni2, LC

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    I meant the Texans. Gee, now why was I thinking Tennessee?

  17. LC RobertHuntingdon Comment by LC RobertHuntingdon

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    I’m looking forward to Joey making the bungles Defense look like it actually knows what it’s doing… maybe…

    Oh and this I have to talk about…
    New Orleans 30, Kansas City 0 (+7 pity points at the end)

    I wish I could have watched it, unfortunately I had to listen to a radio stream, but it was still worth it. Drew just kicked butt, and even Jamie Martin (backup QB) playing with 2nd team marched up and down the field… on the KC STARTERS that were still playing in the third quarter! Can you say ouch?

    Oh and I liked the way Reggie Lite ™ grabbed rushing TDs of 6 and 19 years. Pierre Thomas is an undrafted free agent and he made a good case for keeping him around as a punt or kickoff returner, which is always good for the budget (he comes cheap). Pittman, however, is looking more and more like a bust. So is Meachem. But most of the rest of their draft picks are doing pretty good. Maybe Peyton needs to just start drafting all small-school folks, he seems to do much better with them. :) On the other hand, maybe a year on the practice squad will do ‘em some good. And Jason David I think managed to grab an INT at one point too. Not that his loss devastated the Colts or made a ginormous splash for the Saints, but he looks like a good pickup that will help out.

    RH

  18. memoryleak Comment by memoryleak

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    9/11, we’re taking to the streets - countrywide general strike

    Assuming this isn’t tongue in cheek Harley Race, bring it on. These aging eyes are still good for center of mass at 200 yards ! :em96:

  19. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

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    Harley :em72: is a prime example that for those who believe that humans sprang from apes…he obviously didn’t spring far enough.

  20. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil

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    Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant:

    I watched part of that asswhuppin’ the O’s endured. Not being any particular fan of the team since Cal Ripkin decided to retire (a genuine nice guy for those of you who never had the pleasure), I was rolling on the floor by about halfway throught the seventh inning. My girls both came to ask me to try and hold the noise down. . .

    ================================

    Harley Racist, OTOH, is risking some serious bannage if he doesn’t STFU.

    Mayhaps, there is some powerful force holding you back that we can’t see from here in Cyberland? I believe it earned a vacation after it’s very first post.

  21. Unregistered Comment by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    As for the Rangers, were those guys playing football last night and the Orioles just didn’t realize it, or were they eating their wheaties?

    Dang if I know, Leoni.  But when you’ve got Ranger reject Rob Bell (Rob freakin’ Bell?????)  pitching for you…well, like the guy said in one of the Dodge Hemi commercials, “that can’t be good”.

    Mayhaps, there is some powerful force holding you back that we can’t see from here in Cyberland? I believe it earned a vacation after it’s very first post.

    No, Wil, I’m just being awfully damned patient, is all.  But the bastard is starting to get on my last nerve.

  22. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil

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    Now comeon! His parents knew each other!

    His father was a Donkey.

    His mother was the co-star of the show in old Juarez.

  23. Lord Nazh Comment by Lord Nazh

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    “(they also set the record for runs scored in a doubleheader, as they won the nightcap, 9-7)”

    They set the AL record for runs in a double-header :)

  24. Merc, Imperial SomethingorOther Comment by Merc, Imperial SomethingorOther

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    :em41: Thats it I’m moving. I cant take the Orioles,
    (or the murder rate, or the maroons who live here and get elected here, or the weather, or the rubbernecking)
    sorry, where was I? oh yeah,
    The Orioles have played like :em72: for the last couple of years and they make me wanna :em38: then go :em96: something. Grrrr….those Orioles!!!!!! :em12: :em08:

  25. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil

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    Hey, Merc, they got in the record book!

    :em99:

  26. lc purple raider Comment by lc purple raider

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    I am waiting for the regular season to start. I pay no particular attention to preseason games, except to monitor injuries.

    I wish Modell’s Raisins go 0-16 however.

    That piece of :em72: can go to hell.

  27. LC John Wardle Comment by LC John Wardle

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    Ole Joey hasn’t done squat since he was in college. Even then , I always thought he was a bit over-hyped.

    But, it might be interesting to see what he can do with the chickens.

    And Spats, After hearing what portis had to say about the vick crap, I’m heading farther away for the skins. Looking for a team with class. Any thoughts? (Sans Cowgirls)

  28. Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur Comment by Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    A team with class? In the National Felons League? :em99:

  29. Unregistered Comment by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant

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    I’m heading farther away for the skins. Looking for a team with class. Any thoughts?

    You might look at Jacksonville.  Their coach is a good egg (Jack Del Rio).

  30. jaybear Comment by jaybear

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    whoa whoa whoa……

    what happened to my picture of Joey in post #7?
    seems it’s been replaced with a poster from harley’s bedroom ceiling.

    [Got it fixed, sir.  If the arse doesn’t wanna share, that’s his problem (grin).  -The Management™]

    wanna see the latest betting lines on your favorite team?
    go here

  31. Merc, Imperial SomethingorOther Comment by Merc, Imperial SomethingorOther

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    LC Wil sez:

    they got in the record book!

    Yup now the massive suckitude that is the orioles will be forever remembered by baseball geeks. :em38:
    Thanks to the Orioles I now dont care about baseball anymore at all. The orioles can suck and blow all they want now.

  32. Merc, Imperial SomethingorOther Comment by Merc, Imperial SomethingorOther

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    Jaybear sez

    what happened to my picture of Joey in post #7?
    seems it’s been replaced with a poster from harley’s bedroom ceiling.

    I thought it was a picture of sasquatch or Rosie, but I cant tell which one…or maybe it was sasquatch and rosie’s child, Yeah thats it… :em38:

  33. Unregistered Comment by manofaiki

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    Dallas Cowboys go 14-2, 6-0 in the division and beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl.

    (You heard it here first!) :D

    Atlanta trading Schaub is going to go down as one of the dumbest offseason moves ever, now that Michael Vick is indefinately suspended. Harrington was going to be backed up by former Georgia QB D.J. Shockely, but got hurt last week. Reports had Atlanta talking to the Redskins about a trade for Mark Brunell. Only the Skins just traded for Jets OLineman Pete Kendall and gave up yet another draft pick.

    Vick lied to his coaches, his teammates, his owner, his commissioner……if he ever plays in the NFL again it will be as a backup scrub. His days as a star are over.

  34. Unregistered Comment by LC Wes, Imperial Mohel

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    My local paper ran a great cartoon today: Michael Vick being hauled away in an animal control truck while a pit bull waved bye-bye to him from the curb… :em99:

    And good riddance to him.

    …And methinks the Herman Edwards era in KC is going to just suck. Herm, you bastard, what have you done with the Chiefs’ offensive line? :em98:

  35. tvfoh Comment by tvfoh

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    can’t Art Rooney get some stability into that franchise?

    Spats, I hate to make you look like an Idiot but Art Rooney died 19 years ago today.

    Go Black and Gold!

  36. spiffus Comment by spiffus

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Oh, my…what’s this I see?

    Texans

    28-16? The Mighty and Glorious Cowgirls™ just got pwn3d by the…what did you call them…Texannes?

    Wow.

    How’re those words tasting, Spats? :em99:

  37. Unregistered Comment by leoni2, LC

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Spat,

    Dang if I know, Leoni. But when you’ve got Ranger reject Rob Bell (Rob freakin’ Bell?????) pitching for you…well, like the guy said in one of the Dodge Hemi commercials, “that can’t be good”.

    I see. Just out of curiosity, just how bad is this joker? (Rob Bell)

    manofaiki,

    Dallas Cowboys go 14-2, 6-0 in the division and beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl.

    (You heard it here first!) :D

    Ok, Man, what exactly were you smoking when you make that post, so that I can avoid it? No way in heck are my Eagles going to lose twice in one season to them thar Cowflats. Nor will the Gnats. I mean, this is not the freaking ’70s, dude when the ‘flats could walk all over everyone in the division!!! A team that good would have to have a very good field commander (quarterback) and I do not see pretty boy Romoist fitting the bill.

  38. Unregistered Comment by leoni2, LC

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Wes,

    My local paper ran a great cartoon today: Michael Vick being hauled away in an animal control truck while a pit bull waved bye-bye to him from the curb… :em99:

    Care to share that picture with the rest of us, Wes? Sounds hilarious.

    spiffus,

    28-16? The Mighty and Glorious Cowgirls™ just got pwn3d by the…what did you call them…Texannes?

    The Texans did what to the Cowflats!!!! BURN!!!! :em99:

  39. LC & IB GuyS Comment by LC & IB GuyS

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Hmmmmm …. *checks if this mike is on*

    Bear Down, Chicago Bears!
    Make every play clear the way to victory!
    Bear Down, Chicago Bears!
    Put up a fight with a might so fearlessly!

    We’ll never forget the way you thrilled the nation,
    With your T formation.

    Bear Down, Chicago Bears!
    And let them know why you’re wearing the crown.
    You’re the pride and joy,
    Of all Illinois.
    Chicago Bears, Bear Down!

    Don’t let the final score fool you….the starting team left at half time…when they were ahead 31 to 13

    Even good Rex showed up tonight!

    They ain’t perfect…but looks to be a fun season!

    Go BEARS!!! :em95:

  40. LC John Wardle Comment by LC John Wardle

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Anyone interested in a fantasy league over at ESPN?

  41. LC RobertHuntingdon Comment by LC RobertHuntingdon

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Possibly. What kind you thinking about?

    RH

  42. LC John Wardle Comment by LC John Wardle

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Not sure exactly. The idea just came to mind. I don’t even know how to start one.

  43. LC RobertHuntingdon Comment by LC RobertHuntingdon

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Well I do… more or less. OK, a fair bit less than more, but I have enough of a clue to get started. I have always used Yahoo before but I’m game for trying ESPN. So just for kicks I set up a league on ESPN. I called it “Rottweilers and Pigskin” and I’ve got room for 9 more people atm. If this gets heavy interest I can expand that, and if I get less than 4 people I’ll just cancel it.

    I’m not quite sure how you go about joining a private league on ESPN — on yahoo I can just put a password on the league and then anybody who wants to join has to have the password, but that’s not an option here.

    So if you want in, do the following:
    1) Visit my website (click on my name)
    2) At the top of the page, find the “Contact” link.
    3) Select “Syndication Request” as the email type.
    4) Send me an email through that page, including your rottie nickname and a contact email address, and I’ll add you to the league and have it send you an invite to finish setup.

    Right now all the settings are preliminary so after you join if you don’t like something speak up and we can discuss it.

    RH

  44. LC RobertHuntingdon Comment by LC RobertHuntingdon

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Oops, make that “Request Syndication” on the email type in the above instructions. Sorry.

    RH