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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Edwards For President In 1968
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Moving into yet another week of the metrosexual version of mine’s bigger than your’s, John Edwards calls for an end to the establishment and injustice at the hands of “the man”.


John and Liz pose for their newest 2008 Retro Tour Poster

Edwards talks tough at Clinton, Obama

Presidential hopeful John Edwards said Thursday the Washington establishment is corrupt and suggested — without mentioning her by name — that rival Hillary Rodham Clinton has been part of that corroded system.

Duuude, the establishment is like, corroded man, yeah corrupt like a bad acid trip, ya’ know? Sen. Clinton’s Gyn Report did include some reference to corrosion.

Edwards’ new stump speech, centered on a a need for change and aimed at his top two rivals, comes just before Labor Day, the traditional start of the primary nominating season in this state where he has seen his polling lead slip in recent months.

His polling lead is slipping, because his slip is showing. Taking the neener, neener approach to winning hearts and minds, he continues:

“Real change starts with being honest, and I want to say something again: The system in Washington is rigged, and I’ll say it again, it’s rigged and it’s rigged by greedy powers,” Edwards said Thursday.

The chief riggers have had the better part of a half-century to create a perpetual political class inside the beltway. The ‘greedy’ man owns the establishment. Better say it again, it’s rigged.

“It’s rigged by the system to favor the establishment,” he said at Dartmouth College.

The establishment just sucks man. Hey don’t bogart that bone, pass it around. They got it rigged to channel babies and other really trippy things.

What Edwards called “the rhetoric of change” is popular among all the Democratic candidates. Sen. Barack Obama uses the notion throughout his campaign. One of Clinton’s slogans is, “Ready for change, ready to lead.”

The ever popular, “Elect Us For Change™” rhetoric, carefully devoid of any substance whatsoever.

Edwards challenged his Democratic rivals’ ownership of the word at the start a four-day swing through New Hampshire. [Emph Mine]

Johnny, can I buy a talking-point word for $200 please? Do mind the swinging cankles though, they’re fatal at 100 yards.

“The American people deserve to know that their presidency is not for sale. The Lincoln Bedroom is not for rent,” Edwards said to applause, referencing a Clinton-era controversy in which high-dollar donors were allowed to stay in the White House’s famed bedroom.

Of course the Oval Office is not for sale, however select aromatic sticks from the secret humidor can be had for a reasonable price. The Lincoln Bedroom was closed shortly after Bubba’s last overnight guest departed, the housekeeping staff just couldn’t get the stains off of the bedsheets.

He said the past isn’t going to solve today’s problems or “a corrupt a corroded system.”

“Those wed to the policies of the ’70s, ’80s or the ’90s are wedded to the past, ideas and policies that are tired, shopworn and obsolete. We will find no answers there,” he said.

However, since we have no new ideas, we’ll slice, dice and polish them into shiny-new “Progressive” ones.

Clinton served as first lady during most of the 1990s.

We’ll take your word for that as Vince Foster isn’t available to substantiate the rumor.

Edwards later said he didn’t mean to target Clinton during his new stump speech.

After mention of 90’s policies and Lincoln Bedroom Rentals, Edwards begs for mercy from the Hildebeast with her latest campaign aid poised for action, standing behind the Dhimmicrap metrosexual candidate.

“Going back doesn’t move us forward and we need to move forward,” he told reporters beside his magic campaign bus.

Edwards said voters have a choice: “Either move forward boldly into the future for our children … or the alternative, which is to stay in the same stale direction, which we’ve been traveling in the recent past.”

This is the candidate for universal health care and a new war on poverty? Very boldly moving forward to past failures, but they’ll work this time, we promise. Honest.

Edwards’ speech, his toughest yet against his top rivals, sought to draw clearer lines between himself and better-polling Democrats.

“Small thinking and outdated answers aren’t the only problems with a vision for the future that is rooted in nostalgia,” Edwards said. “The trouble with nostalgia is that you tend to remember what you liked — am I right? — and you forget what you didn’t. It’s not just that the answers of the past aren’t up to the job today, it’s that the system that produced them was corrupt — and it still is corrupt.
{Emph Mine Again}

See, the nostalgic answers were perfect visions, but we just didn’t try hard enough. Let’s un-corrupt the establishment and do it all over again.

Edwards said voters can’t simply “replace one group of corporate Republicans with a group of corporate Democrats, just swapping the Washington insiders of one party for the Washington insiders of the other.”

Jeez John, you better be careful around Shrillary with that ‘swapping‘ word, the biological response could be dangerous.

Edwards was gentler on Obama, although he also was on the former North Carolina senator’s mind.

Watch out B. Hussein, sounds like The Silky Pony has a man-crush on you. You’re on his mind.

“How many times have voters in New Hampshire heard politicians come rolling through here saying that they want change?” Edwards said. “That’s great. What do they really want to do as the president of the United States?”

Interns. Cigars. Johnny Chung.

Obama foes have said that despite his pledge for change, he lacks sufficient experience to win his party’s nomination or the presidency. It was a question the first-term senator from Illinois sought to quiet during a trip earlier this week to New Hampshire.

Edwards is traveling with his wife and his three children for a four-day tour. He and Elizabeth Edwards left the bus to the strains of Sheryl Crow’s “A Change Will Do You Good.”

With the Breck Girl’s carefully coiffed pate, “I’m Too Sexy” would be a better strain.

A Republican National Committee spokeswoman said she recognized Edwards’ message.

“Voters have long recognized John Edwards as the change candidate in this race, after he flip-flopped from being a staunch war-on-terror supporter to a liberal protester,” said Amber Wilkerson.

Message? There was a message in there? That’s was merely an extended version of a cricket’s mating call, that had some semblance of english words at interval.

All buzz, no substance, except for the 20 lbs of hairspray coating his mane. Disestablishmentarianism on parade, with a clown in the lead role.

37 Responses to “Edwards For President In 1968”
  1. Unregistered Comment by Vercer

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    I gotta admit, the only difference I see between Edwards and The Hildebeest is Edwards has better hair but Hillary is more masculine.

    Edwards make me ashamed to live here in NC.

  2. Unregistered Comment by Infidel River Rat

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    Well, a shyster slick-brush :em72: beauty queen :em41: metrosexual trial lawyer/hedge fund manager who has been caught investing in Katrina foreclosures is calling others corrupt? Hello pot, meet kettle. Change what? Destroy the economy with high taxes and socializing 1/7 of the nation’s economy? More handouts to those who won’t help themselves? Man, maybe Edwards et al. need to get drug tested themselves!

  3. mongrul Comment by mongrul

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    Oh he done did it now! Hitlery Inc. is gonna strap a spiked saddle on this soft and finely groomed pony and ride his perky and well pampered ass into the ground! Meanwhile B. Hussein Obama works on his plan to bomb Canada. News at 11.

  4. LC RobertHuntingdon Comment by LC RobertHuntingdon

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    Of course he wants to return to 1968. That was the era of bald-faced, provably DELIBERATE lies on network TV and nobody doubted a word of it. That was the era in which demoncraps could get elected fairly without having to lie / cheat / steal / commit election fraud / and/or pretend to be republicans (and sometimes all of the above).

    Why would he NOT want to return to those “good ol days”?

    Hmm, does that mean he’s a radical reactionary?

    RH

  5. B.C., Imperial Torturer™ Comment by B.C., Imperial Torturer™

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    “Disestablishmentarianism”…

    Didn’t Mary Poppins sing a song about that back in ‘64? Talk about your retro trips to Acidville

    “Deadwards ‘08: Fighting Against The U.S. Democratic Republic Establishment To Install A New & Improved Neo-Marxist Establishment!™”

    Yeah, yeah, yeah… It’s a bit long, but the hippies can stretch the bumper sticker down the sides of their buses.

  6. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

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    Cool Man! Does this mean they’re gonna bring The 5th Dimension on tour with them? Up, Up and Away!!! :em99:

    This is all just so Age of Aquarius Man!! :em94:

  7. Lady Heather Comment by Lady Heather

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    #6, JB

    :em99: :em99: :em99: :em99:

    Has he been trading brunette wigs with Britney Spears?

  8. Mike M Comment by Mike M

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    John and Lizzy were gettin’ kinda itchy just to leave the shrill Hill behind….

    (with apologies to the Mamas and Papas)

  9. Useful Idiot Comment by Useful Idiot

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    Drums keep poundin’ a rhythm to your brain

    la de da de de

    la de da de da

  10. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil

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    “Voters have long recognized John Edwards as the change candidate in this race, after he flip-flopped from being a staunch war-on-terror supporter to a liberal protester,” said Amber Wilkerson.

    Why isn’t Ms. Wilkerson running for anything?

    ==========================

    “Flying into Los Angeles,
    Bringin’ in a couple of keys,
    Don’t check my bags, if you please,
    Mr. Customs Man . . . “

  11. LC NCLivingBrit Comment by LC NCLivingBrit

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    As we’re talking hippies, here’s some light entertainment to take the taste of Edwards (ptooi) name out of your mouth.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IfhUaUuG1sM

    I love it when they gas hippies!

    :em99:

  12. WayneB Comment by WayneB

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    Yeah, yeah, yeah… It’s a bit long, but the hippies can stretch the bumper sticker down the sides of their buses.

    Speaking of Bumper Stickers, John Hawkins did a post to help out James Carville with Bumper Sticker slogans yesterday.

  13. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil

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    But - but - I thought the hippies were the GOVERNMENT of Tacoma!

  14. LC NCLivingBrit Comment by LC NCLivingBrit

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    But - but - I thought the hippies were the GOVERNMENT of Tacoma!

    Apparently not.

    Oh, reasons I love my wife so, #127,452,938:

    Her comment on this video is “Hilarious. I could watch hippies get gassed and shot all night.” If that don’t signal a keeper, I don’t know what does :)

  15. Unregistered Pingback by Silky Pony: “Hillary is The Man who’s keeping you down”

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    […] really wonder if he’s actually running or if he’s just comic relief supplied by the […]

  16. LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech Comment by LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech

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    Big wow.
    sonny and cher, from hell.
    Spare chaynge,,mannn?

  17. LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech Comment by LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech

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    Pull a pin on any hand size canister, drop a round in any plooker, and,,,”Hear the sound of my feet walking (read: sprinting) drown the sound of my voice talking.” /Rod McKuen

  18. Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur Comment by Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur

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    But - but - I thought the hippies were the GOVERNMENT of Tacoma!

    You’re thinking of Seattle and Portland, Wil.

    Tacoma is cursed with Dhimicrats, but ‘hippie’ doesn’t come to mind when I think of them.

  19. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil

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    You’re thinking of Seattle and Portland, Wil.

    Tacoma is cursed with Dhimicrats, but ‘hippie’ doesn’t come to mind when I think of them.

    Ah. Thank you for clearing that up, BisW.

  20. Unregistered Comment by Infidel River Rat

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    I LOVE the sound of :em41: hippie :em72: fleabags :em41: getting CS’ed, Great video!! :em93: :em94:

  21. Unregistered Comment by Infidel River Rat

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    Why don’t they use firehoses anymore? It would be the first bath of any kind in a while for a lot of those fleabags!

  22. jaybear Comment by jaybear

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    IRR sez:

    Why don’t they use firehoses anymore? It would be the first bath of any kind in a while for a lot of those fleabags!

    That’s cuz water is a precious commodity, better to douse them with high pressure gasoline hoses, then chase them around with a lit Roman Candle
    :em71: :em95:

  23. sig94 Comment by sig94

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    “What the fuck are you doing? You just shot me in the ass with a rubber bullet! I’m a citizen of this fucking country!!

    :em99: :em99: :em99: :em99: :em99: :em99: :em99: :em99: :em99: :em99: :em99: :em99: :em99: :em99:

    LivingBrit I think I just shat meself.

  24. Radical Redneck Comment by Radical Redneck

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    OMG! Read the comments in the hippie video. I’m amazed, but I can still be shocked at depths of ignorance. :em72:

    There are more cliche’s and vapid talking points than a DU Mike Moore thread. Sad. :em98:

  25. Merc, Imperial SomethingorOther Comment by Merc, Imperial SomethingorOther

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    OMG! Read the comments in the hippie video. I’m amazed, but I can still be shocked at depths of ignorance. :em72:

    Stupid hippies :em98: … I hate to break it to these people but Ghandi was a moron (beatdown by Fred!)…peaceful protests like sitting in the streets singing, or hunger striking, or picketing will hardly ever get you anywhere, it wont change anyone’s mind. It will just (hopefully) get you shot with rubber bullets for blocking up the roads.
    Hippies. :em08:
    F.E.T.E
    And now to get rid of the disgusting taste of hippies, and the whackjobs who commented on that vid I give you this: Stuck Mojo - Anti-Hippies :em58:

  26. Merc, Imperial SomethingorOther Comment by Merc, Imperial SomethingorOther

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    That’s cuz water is a precious commodity, better to douse them with high pressure gasoline hoses, then chase them around with a lit Roman Candle

    NOW THERE’S an idea!!! :em71: :em71: :em71: :em93:

  27. LC NCLivingBrit Comment by LC NCLivingBrit

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    If you’re going to burn anything doused in that much patchouli, you had better get some reeking hippy corpse offset credits……

  28. B.C., Imperial Torturer™ Comment by B.C., Imperial Torturer™

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    Check out my comment to magira66 before it gets deleted.

    :em93:

  29. Radical Redneck Comment by Radical Redneck

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    BC, that’ll get flagged as a Hate Crime™ by the Feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewing Police™ :em58:

  30. B.C., Imperial Torturer™ Comment by B.C., Imperial Torturer™

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    You’re probably right, RR.

    Just in case it gets deleted, I’ll post it here for all to see:

    BWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That’s CLASSIC!

    Just a little note to all you anarchists/hippies/unemployable morons out there: “Block the PUBLIC’s access to use a PUBLIC road and get removed by the PUBLIC authorities.”

    Oh, and magira66, try to remember who has the vast majority of guns in American whenever you and your fellow Chevistas finally put down your bongs long enough to start your Revolución. Just sayin’… ;-)

    If that’s a “Hate Crime”, what would one consider this comment directly below mine?

    brightwhiteass: if i ever kidnap a member of law enforcement, i will make it a point to give him a 21-rubber-bullet-gun-up-the-ass salute…point blank. those things hurt like a bitch. *rubs bruise*

    Nothing says “Peace & Love™” like a “progressive” comment, eh?

  31. Merc, Imperial SomethingorOther Comment by Merc, Imperial SomethingorOther

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    3 hrs later and BC’s comment is still there…. :em58:
    Anyone wanna wager on how much longer it will stay up? :em94: :em94:

  32. jaybear Comment by jaybear

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    3 hrs later and BC’s comment is still there…

    I watched that video, the minute those tear gas canisters started flying those protestors scattered…..I made mention in a post a week ago about watching the hard core protestors in Boulder Colo. mix it up with the cops and National Guard in the early 70’s. While I never supported the protestors or their agenda, I had to admire their commitment….they took everything the Cops and Guard threw at them and STILL stood their ground. I had to respect them for standing up and taking the hits.

    The demonstrator/anarchists of today are nothing but a bunch of spoiled little puds. They deserve a good ass kicking

  33. psychochick Comment by psychochick

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    I’ve never had a problem seeing a YouTube video before.

    Boy I’ve never seen someone post as repeatedly as Magira on a thread–maybe he/she is manic right now.

  34. LittleRott84 Comment by LittleRott84

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    “What the fuck are you doing? You just shot me in the ass with a rubber bullet! I’m a citizen of this fucking country!!

    He should have been thankful it wasn’t a real one to his head.

  35. LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech Comment by LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech

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    BC
    Your youscrewed comment got plonked,, gonegone. YOU WIN!

  36. LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech Comment by LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech

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    BC
    Arr, well, good,,it’s still there, bcvrwc,,’nabbit

    I’ll try to squint harder,,

  37. LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech Comment by LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech

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    He should have been thankful it wasn’t a real one to his head.

    ‘Waiste of ammo, no vital organs in there.