NO BLOOD FOR EUNUCHS!
OK, so something Citizen Beaker said in a comment to a post about the anti-American protest shit going on in Florence got me all worked up over the friggin’ feckless EUnuch assmunchers and I thought that it would be a horrible thing to let a perfectly good rant wither away in a comments box, so here goes…
What Beaker brought up was basically asking what the fuck is WRONG with those nutsos on the other side of the pond?
First they get their asses burned when their idiot royalty have at each other and we send our doughboys over to save them from themselves… OK, good, problem solved, right? WRONG!
Just over two decades later, they decide to try fascism and nazism on for size, get their shrivelled nuts caught in the wringer again and hey presto, off go our GIs to save the fucknuts from themselves once a-fucking-GAIN! OK, THAT settled it, right? Surely you asswipes have had it with totalitarian regimes now, haven’t you? Can we leave you home alone now for a while without worrying about you setting the house on fire while we’re gone?
Wait, what’s that? The Soviets, you say? Well alright then, let’s station our boys over there indefinitely then, paying for your defense while you pump all the money you save by refusing to defend yourselves into welfare for your lazy, no-good citizens. At least we’ll save the cost of having to ferry our boys over the next time.
Five decades later the Soviets finally realize that they’re no match for us and hoist the
French white flag. Yay! It’s over! We can go home now and start spending trillions of American tax dollars on actual Americans, right? WRONG!!
Now the terminally screwed up EUrofucks decide to split up into 735 nation states the size of my backyard and fight among themselves. Well, surely you EUrinals can take care of shitholes the size of your average Texan ranch with the combined military budgets of Liechtenstein without us ‘Murkins getting involved, right? WRONG!!
The stupid fucks sit impotently in Brussels and debate the curvature of cucumbers while the people of the Balkans are systematically wiped out by madmen… OK, here we go a-fucking-GAIN!! In go the GIs, out go the shitheads.
Finally it looks like some semblance of peace is about to erupt in that rotten backwater of civilization that calls itself “Europe” when WHAM! The US of A finds itself under attack. Well, surely you guys remember all that we’ve done for you and will line up to lend a hand, right? WRONG!!
Oh no, now all you do is piss, moan and whine, while you try to obstruct every single fucking move we make to defend ourselves while your unwashed masses congregate in all of your major cities to protest OUR aggressiveness and all the while you’re busy building a totalitarian bureaucrapcy that would’ve made Josef Fuckin’ STALIN blush!!
Listen, you castrated numbnuts: It’s time for you to step up to the fucking plate just for ONCE in your irrelevant, miserable little lives, K? And I don’t really give a good shit anyway, it’s not like you can contribute with anything useful, considering that your combined military spending is on par with fucking Ecuador, I just want you to know one little thing:
When you get your asses caught in a sling again and come crying to us, begging for help, and it WILL happen, you assclowns just can’t HELP yourselves, I’m gonna whip out the smallest violin I can find in all of our 50 states and play you the saddest song in the fucking Universe on it while your cities burn, for I’ll be three times fucking DAMNED if I’ll ever lift a fucking FINGER to help your sorry asses again!
Am I making myself absolutely fucking clear here, you worthless stinking pissants?
Good! Now go to HELL!
I forgot, you’re already there… Well enjoy, then…
[Insert usual disclaimer about not all EUropeons being ingrate Islamofascist nutsack lickers etc. etc. We all know that. The ones of you that my rant is directed at know who you are, the rest of you can just ignore what I said or, better still, go take a Clue Bat™ to the pointed skulls of your Idiotarian compatriots. You’ll be doing all of us a favor]