Did you know that the Founding Fathers screwed the pooch when they wrote into the Constitution that we had right to bear arms? Yep. They obviously thought that we would be enemies with Britain forever and forgot to read those tea leaves they dumped into Boston Harbor. Now that we’re allies with the Brits we don’t need those nasty guns anymore.
Thus saith another GFW who is scraping the bottom of his cranium to come up with another half assed reason for banning guns.
It is better to be silent and thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
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…of course, it’s very easy being a self-hating Joo advocating the national suicide of Eretz Yisroel when you don’t actually have to, you know, live in the areas that you urge to commit suicide. Such as that utter gasbag, Ezra Klein, who ought to have his foreskin sown back on.
With a very rusty needle (h/t LC & IB Ace)
This is the paragraph that I can’t get out of my head:
Hamas had in recent weeks let it be known that it doubted Israel would engage in a major military undertaking because of its coming elections. But in some ways the elections have made it impossible for officials like Mr. Barak not to react, because the public has grown anxious and angry over the rocket fire, which while causing no recent deaths and few injuries is deeply disturbing for those living near Gaza.
No deaths and few injuries. “Deeply disturbing.” Hamas lacks the technology to aim its rockets. They’re taking potshots. In response, the Israeli government launched air strikes that have now killed more than 280 Palestinians, injured hundreds beyond that, and further radicalized thousands in the Occupied Territories and millions in the region.
We’ll leave aside the fact that His Imperial Majesty doesn’t really give a flying fuck what “inflames” the perpetually inflamed
hemorrhoids subhuman pisslamic parasites reducing the real estate value of our fair planet. It seems everything is an excuse for some ragheaded goatmuncher to go blow himself up in a Kindergarten.
Some tiny relatively unknown newspaper in a small Scandinavian country prints a few drawings of the prophet of their “peaceful” religion? Great, let’s go burn down embassies all over the Middle East, murder indiscriminately and why not gun down a few nuns while we’re at it?
Some irresponsible and barely literate hack at another newspaper starts floating rumors about the physically impossible feat of flushing Korans down the toilet? Yay! Let’s go murder everything that fucking moves.
It seems pretty bloody hard to avoid “feeding the cycle of violence” where those syphilitic offspring of dogs are concerned.
But nevermind all that. He does have a point. The Israeli response was, indeed, “disproportionate”, as dumb little Ezra points out. If they were to have responded “in kind”, they’d have indiscriminately carpet bombed the entire Gaza Strip without concern for civilian collateral damage. As a matter of fact, they’d have deliberately targeted civilian targets in hopes that they’d kill as many innocents as humanly possible.
Personally, we’re having a hard time seeing a problem with that, but we doubt that’s what Ezra the Imbecile is calling for.
The response will not come today, of course. It will come in months, or even in years, when an angry orphan detonates a belt filled with shrapnel, killing himself and 25 Israelis. At which point the Israelis will launch air strikes killing another 70 Palestinians, radicalizing thousands more, leading to more bombings, and so the cycle continues.
Sure. Blame the victim. They’re to blame for being murdered because they reacted in self-defense in the past when they were being murdered. Those damn Jooos in the Warsaw ghetto who were massacred in ‘44 had it coming for aggravating the Nazis. Good riddance. They should’ve been good Jooos like Ezra and let themselves be murdered. Correction: They should have been good Jooos like Ezra and hightailed it out of Warsaw, THEN cheered on the SS as they murdered their fellow Jooos.
The rocket attacks were undoubtedly “deeply disturbing” to Israelis.
Sending your kids to school every morning not knowing if you’ll ever see them again because Hamas makes a point of bombing when the school bell rings to increase the chances of getting a bunch of the kids will cause some anxiety, yes. Unless you’re a fuckheaded Kapo Jooo living far away from the action that is.
But so too are the checkpoints, the road closures, the restricted movement, the terrible joblessness, the unflinching oppression, the daily humiliations, the illegal settlement — I’m sorry, “outpost” — construction, “deeply disturbing” to the Palestinians, and far more injurious.
It is, Ezra? Really, now? I don’t know about you, other than the fact that you’ve got an IQ that would make an amoeba look like Albert Fucking Einstein, but I’ll take quite a bit of “humiliation” in return for having my kids return from school every day.
But obviously you think it’s perfectly justifiable for paleoswinians to blow up Joooish schoolchildren because they’ve been “humiliated” at a checkpoint. I guess that means that I can go on a murderous rampage because of all of the times I’ve been forced to take my shoes off at the airport?
And the 300 dead Palestinians should be disturbing to us all.
It should? And the thousands of completely and utterly innocent Jewish men, women and children murdered deliberately by the paleoswinian scum shouldn’t? You know, if the paleosimians laid down their arms tomorrow, there’d be peace.
If the Israelis laid down theirs, there’d be no more Jews in the Middle East.
There is nothing proportionate in this response. No way to fit it into a larger strategy that leads towards eventual peace.
Dead lice don’t bite.
No way to fool ourselves into believing that it will reduce bloodshed and stop terrorist attacks. It is simple vengeance.
The difference between “vengeance” and “cold-blooded murder” is that the former requires a legitimate provocation. It really is that simple. I’d go with the former any day of the week if I had to choose between the two.
However, in spite of your “strategic genius”, deliberately targeting the command structure of the most virulent plague of terrorism in the terrortories, Hamas, is not just “vengeance.” Lop the head off the snake and it’s no threat anymore. Or, if you like it better, the Fear of G-d Strategy. You murder innocents, we’ll wipe you out.
Works for me. Sooner or later they’ll run out of splodeydopes.
There’s a saying in the Jewish community: “Israel, right or wrong.” But sometimes Israel is simply wrong.
Why don’t you move to Be’ersheba or Ashkelon and say that? Bring the kids, why don’t you?
Am Yisroel Chai!
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Posted by: in Funny Shit
Uncle J over at Blackfive alerts us to this delicious bit of irony. Seems Code Monkey at From My Position…On The Way was trolling the webs for some pink action (Not that kind BC, get yer mind out of the gutter) and…well I’ll let him explain.
I was trolling around on the dark side of the internet today to see how the hippies were responding to Gaza. I decided to see how the nitwits in pink were reacting and typed what I thought was their web page address into the address bar.
WARNING: Clicking the link below while consuming a beverage may be bad for the health of your monitor and/or keyboard!
Now trust me on this one and click here:
Oh the irony…
BWUHAHAHAHA!!!! Somebody deserves a medal for that right there!
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If there is anyone who happens to think that the Mediots have not been spending WAY too much time licking Obambi’s scrotal sac, they need look no further than this poll that has just been published.
Obama biggest news story since start of century: poll
Yes Dear Subjects. He’s even bigger than Bradgelina. The Obamessiah has become the biggest story this century.
All 8 years of it.
Which of course means the next 92 are going to be damn boring if this is the most exciting thing to happen this century.
Obama coverage eclipsed news stories about the Iraq war, the Beijing Olympics, the global economic crisis, hurricane Katrina, Pope John Paul II’s death, the September 11 attacks on New York and Washington D.C., and the tsunami in south Asia.
Well of course he is. Why would anyone want to remember all those little burps in our race to the future when we have Teh One™ to bow down before and worship? We’re not getting our ass kicked in Iraq, so the Mediots don’t want to keep bringing that up. Bobby Jindal is getting things taken care of in New Orleans, and the Newsies damn sure don’t want to give credit for that to a *shudder* Republican.
Oh…and those 3000+ innocent people who died on Sept.11?
Puhleeeeze. Can’t we all just Move On™?
Isn’t it enough to know that he only has to raise his nicotine stained metrosexual hands, flex those glistening
man boobs pecs, wave his Dumbo ears and the winds will die down, the waves will calm, the climate will cease to change, dogs and cats will be at peace with one another, and Oprah will finally shut the hell up?
Forget that once he’s out of his “President-Elect” bubble he’s going to be busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest trying to hide who and what he really is, which is to say…NUTHIN….He’s the Obamessiah!!
All Hail He who must not answer any tough questions!
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In which we address some of the more silly and, thankfully, shorter missives.
Yes, we really are here to help the little ones.
From Neil, age 10, who can’t wait to get out there on the roads. Something that we wholly sympathize with, by the way.
Do you really think that kids want to wait till they are 18 till they drive?
No, we don’t. We also don’t care. There’s a reason why we group human beings into “kids” and “adults.”
The former do what the latter say, period. The reason for this is that the former don’t know what they’re talking about due to lack of education and experience and that they, as a result, tend to come up with really, really bad ideas. Trust us. We were a kid too, and probably wouldn’t be an adult today if it hadn’t been for annoying grownups spending a lot of time keeping us from doing stupid stuff.
I believe that kids should drive at the age of 16. It is a better age because it will teach kids to be responsible if they are not already responsible enough at that age.
Neil, please. You’re telling us that a good reason for getting kids out driving earlier is that they’re irresponsible? That, Neil, is exactly the reason why we don’t want them out there behind the wheel of several thousand pounds of rapidly moving steel. The most irresponsible among them, the ones that worry us, don’t end up more responsible. They end up wrapped around trees and scooped up in plastic bags.
Not that there’s no hope for you, other than waiting until you’re 18. There are states out there that will let you get a license before then. You just have to convince your parents to move.
Give us more, O Emperor! »« AIIIEEEE! My EYES!
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(H/t Stop the ACLU)
The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette has decided to run a series of letters from brainwashed child victims of publik skooling to the Fresh Prez of Bill Ayers. For some strange reason, however, quite a few of those paeans to sub-mediocrity have found their way to the Imperial Mail Room.
We’re reasonably sure that they weren’t meant for His Majesty, but that never stopped us in the past. Besides, we’re the Imperial Government, and we’re here to help.
From Maya, age 10:
I am a fifth-grade student at Liberty Elementary School. I am writing to you for a school project. These are some things I think you should do while you’re in office.
My family discusses alternative energy a lot. I think you need to look into it, such as solar panels and wind power. We need to get them at lower, less expensive prices so more people will be willing to buy it.
You seem to have at least an elementary grasp of how the market works, Maya, in that you understand that people won’t buy stuff that it overpriced. “Lower, less expensive” is a tautology, by the way, but don’t worry about it. You’ll never see the word again since it would take away valuable time that your teachers would rather spend teaching you “inclusiveness” and “womyn’s studies.”
In order for a good to become less expensive, you need to understand that the ones selling it have bills and mortgages too. Your parents (and teachers) may have led you to believe that they spend all of their time on Aruba, sipping expensive drinks that they get for free (or by squeezing it out of the veins of poor brown-skinned people), but it just isn’t so. So, you see, they need to make money on the sale too, which means that the price they can sell it at has rather a lot to do with the price it costs to make.
So, Maya, it’s like this: The reason that you don’t see energy made of sunlight, wind and unicorn farts that sells cheaper than traditional forms of energy is that, at this point in time, it can’t be done.
Yes, His Majesty knows that your publik skool teachers have probably told you that it’s because Dick Cheney and George Bush have bought all of the patents to free energy and perpetual motion just to keep the black man down or some such hogwash, but we have to tell you that it just isn’t true, shocking though it may be to you. Because if anybody ever came up with a way to create energy out of free sources such as sunlight that they could sell cheaper than, say, coal-derived energy, they’d be building solar panels all over the place so fast that you wouldn’t believe it.
It’s called “capitalism”, and it’s Good For You.
Give us more, O Emperor! »« AIIIEEEE! My EYES!
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…from our Democrat and RINO overlords:
(H/t LC & IB Rurik)
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I do apologize for being the last to do so… Well, no I don’t. I have to have the last word, you know. I’m the Emperor, after all. But I definitely can’t not personally wish you all a wonderful Christmas, Hanukkah, Solstice, whatever you celebrate this time of year.
It matters not. What matters is that we’re here, that we have each other, that we have things to celebrate together and things to reach out to each other over when things aren’t so bright. What flavor our faith is, or non-faith for that matter, isn’t really that important right now. To us as individuals, sure, but to us as a community, no.
If there’s one thing that this site has taught me, it is that we can all come together. Not on all things, there will always be issues on which we disagree most vehemently, and thank G-d for that or I’d be bored to death, but if we put our minds to it, we can simultaneously have spirited, heated arguments over that on which we don’t agree and get together on those issues were we do.
I’ve also learned that no man or woman with a community like ours is ever truly alone. To be sure, we may feel alone when life overwhelms us, I’m no stranger to that feeling, but we aren’t really. We’re no further from not being alone than a simple reach out to those who care, and they’re all around us. And this community has provided me and, I hope, all of you, with a readily available and easy way of reaching out when the need arises.
It’s funny when I think about it. This site started out more than 6 years ago because I needed a place to “vent.” I never expected anybody to really read it, much less be interested if they did, yet here we are today. This site, founded to be all about me, isn’t anymore. And I’m grateful for it. I have learned so much, got to know people that I’d have never known otherwise and got to feel the love and support of people I’d never met but, most of all, I have accomplished that which most people never are lucky enough to achieve: I’ve created something bigger than myself.
And I didn’t even know what the heck I was doing when I did it, but that’s true for much of my life. Mheh.
I’m thankful for each and every one of you. I am thankful for those who touched my life and helped me become a better person, those who came and went, those who are still here and those who have yet to show up.
All of you changed and will in the future change me, in some way, and all for the better. We’ve shared sorrows, we’ve shared joys, we’ve wasted retarded amounts of time being just silly, and all of that has been an energy source that would not otherwise have been available to me.
You’ve changed my life and, more importantly, in some cases I’ve been blessed enough to be part of changing some of yours as well, to be part of the rock that you’ve been for me throughout the years.
And all because somebody finally talked me through the easy steps of setting up a website.
Funny how that works, isn’t it?
So I want to thank every single one of you, because without you this site wouldn’t be what it is. It is as much yours as it is mine, if not more so.
I also want to thank every one of the contributors on the Imperial Staff who’ve helped keep the free ice cream flowing when I was too busy doing other stuff. Without you, this would have been a boring place indeed. And not “just” because of you “filling in”, but much more importantly because of your unique perspectives. You can write things that I never could because I’m not you, and Heaven knows that you haven’t been anywhere near sufficiently remunerated for your efforts. The Imperial Pay and Benefits Plan sucks.
And a special thanks to Dave who for years has been making sure that the pipes have kept piping and the pumps have kept pumping around here along with offering himself up as a loyal punching bag. If you want an example of how friendship and politics are two completely different and unrelated matters, you need look no further.
We’re a strange gang around here, but we’re a great gang, and I thank you all for being part of my life.
G-d Bless You All.
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Posted by: in Front Page
An anonymous LC sent me this, in hopes that I could post it here. It’s a true story, one that should be told because he, in the end, keeps focused on what is important at Christmas. It IS the reason for the season, the birth of Our Lord and Savior. No king, tyrant, president, potentate or politician has ever approached the impact that small, insignificant, but Blessed infant, has had on all of mankind. That child, the living embodiment of our Creator made the ultimate sacrifice for a world beyond redemption, yet still worthy of the G-d’s Grace, through His blood sacrifice, to save it all. The child grew strong and wise, never asked anyone for anything, never became a “worldly” citizen having traveled barely 200 miles from his place of birth. No stallions or chariots, but simple sandals and feet for travel. His friends turned on him when betrayed by the political/ruling class and a kangaroo court sentenced him to death. No vigils outside the dungeon. Just the lash of the jailer’s whip and unthinkable pain. He bore the cross to the place of execution where, nailed naked to the rough wood, the guards gambled for his only worldly possessions, his clothing. Buried in a borrowed tomb, He rose and the rest is history. Just remember tonight and tomorrow, that just over 2 millenia ago and humble child changed the destiny of the world for all of us, Christians, atheists, Bhuddists…ALL of mankind.
The Tuesday before last my wife got a call that her favorite Aunt in Chicago was dying of colon cancer. She discussed it with me and it was not a matter of if we should go it was a matter of we have to go. She is family after all. We notified our employers and arranged for travel.
The next morning we arose at 5 AM after a good 3 hour sleep and went to the airport. We went to the check-in desk and stood in line to check in for the flight. After finally getting to the counter the clerk rudely stated we were in the wrong line, told us to stand in that line over there, motioning to the long line next to us and then walked away laughing.
We moved to the next line and slowly made our way up to the counter again. Upon reaching the counter the clerk looked at our paperwork and said you are in the wrong line, you need to be in that line over there, motioning to the original line in which we had been standing. Having had little sleep and being really pissed off now I said, we already stood in that line and were told by your fucking stupid co-worker to stand in this line (I don’t do mornings well). He got all pissed off and threatened to prevent us from boarding the plane. We finally got checked in and eventually boarded the plane.
We flew from Phoenix to Denver. Then we flew from Denver to Chicago where we circled Chicago for 1 ½ hours due to the massive snow storm raging below us. We then flew to Pontiac Michigan and circled for another 45 minutes. Still not being able to land we flew to Cincinnati where we were able to land. We taxied to a remote part of the tarmac and sat on the ground in the plane for six hours. Having eaten little because the flight was supposed to be 1 ½ hours we were both hungry. My wife asked the flight attendant if they were going to feed us after sitting there for about four hours. No, but we have some snacks you can purchase. I thought my wife was going to grab the smirking little bitch by the throat and throttle her until her eyes popped out of her head. We did get a glass of water though.
Give us more, O Emperor! »« AIIIEEEE! My EYES!
Tags: Holiday Stories
24 Comments »
Posted by: in Front Page
Once upon a time, long ago, a gentle mother was busily cleaning the house for the most wonderful day of the year…. The day on which the Christ child came to bless the house. Not a speck of dust was left. Even the spiders had been banished from their cozy corner in the ceiling to avoid the housewife’s busy cleaning. They finally fled to the farthest corner of the attic.
T’was the Christmas eve at last! The tree was decorated and waiting for the children to see it. But the poor spiders were frantic, for they could not see the tree, nor be present for the Christ child’s visit. But the oldest and wisest spider suggested that perhaps they could peep through the crack in the door to see him. Silently they crept out of their attic, down the stairs, and across the floor to wait in the crack in the threshold. Suddenly, the door opened a wee bit and quickly the spiders scurried into the room. They must see the tree closely, since their eyes weren’t accustomed to the brightness of the room… so the crept all over the tree, up and down, over every branch and twig and saw every one of the pretty things. At last they satisfied themselves completely of the Christmas tree beauty.
But alas!! Everywhere they went they had left their webs, and when the little Christ child came to bless the house he was dismayed. He loved the little spiders, for they were God’s creatures too, but he knew the mother, who had trimmed the tree for the little children, wouldn’t feel the same, so He touched the webs and they all turned to sparkling, shimmering, silver and gold!
Ever since that time, we have hung tinsel on our christmas trees, and according to the legend, it has been a custom to include a spider among the decorations on the tree.
From our home to yours, wishing you the very finest and merriest Christmas ever.
Need to get in the spirit? Beginning 7pm this evening, Radio CIA will shift into 24/7 Christmas music for your listening pleasure!
7 Comments »
If you haven’t heard or read the screeching headlines from the Lamestream Midiots™ about the “unprecedented change of climate” that’s been taking place across all of North America, as of late, you really should check sites other than Algore and Hansen’s personal blogs, because it’s really getting tough to be a Glow Bull Worming™ acolyte.
Go read the short, yet sweet, article and then click below to see how it all comes together…
That is all.
Give us more, O Emperor! »« AIIIEEEE! My EYES!
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Hat Tip to RS Janes @ Liberaltopia:
Received in an email, author unknown, but good advice for us all.
Achieving Peace & Calm During the Holidays
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives, especially at this hectic time of the year.
Some doctor on television this morning said the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see the things I’d started and hadn’t finished and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of shhhardonay, a bodle of Baileys, a half a sicks pak of bear, a butle of vocka, a pockage of Prunglies, tha mainder of bot Valum scriptins, the res the Chesescke an a box chocolets.
Yu haf no idr who frkin gud I fel.
Peas sen dis orn to dem yu fee ar in ned ov inr pece an culm
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Posted by: in Funny Shit
Getting a little short on cash for the holidays? Well “W” and Congress have produced the “speed lane” documentation for empty pocketed businesses. I trust the pack to creatively invent their own individual failed businesses to get in on the hand-outs. All you need to do is “promise” to vote for the “D” ticket during the next elections. Just keep in mind, Lugosi and Reid’s “bi-partisan” promises when you sign-up.
Jump on in and collect your neighbor’s hard-earned dollars while the fuckweasels in DC, fight over who to give them too. All in the Christmas spirit, of course.
Not to tell you what to do, but I’d opt for the Grand Cayman bank deposit. They’re what the Swiss banking industry used to be about….. privacy. After all we wouldn’t want the IRS involved, no?
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In the wake of yet another stabbing and a bikie shooting, the Australian government has turned to a knee jerk reaction , as always, with more laws, a “crackdown” demonising the legal gun owners. The law abiding are, as always , wearing the idiocy of a government that cannot, will not or refuses to accept that criminals do not obey the law, and that any raft of buybacks, amnesties or other legal mumbo jumbo will result in nothing more than muted laughter and studied ignorance.
The law abiding take care of their weapons and lock them away and obey the raft of rules and regs and make sure than in the case of a home invasion or other crime, their firearm is safely locked away and disassembled, the ammunition stored elsewhere.
God help them if they ever think of using it to defend themselves…the law in this country ensures that any home owner or gun owner that uses said gun for self defence will find themselves in jail for thirty years for attempted murder or murder…that they were using necessary force to defend their homes is, of course, irrelevant.
The rights of the criminal must be respected, says the nanny state. If there is a crime..call the police….and of course, as we all know, the criminal will just sit there and wait for the police to arrive..IF they ever get there.
When seconds count,..the police are only minutes away.
The claim that legal gun owners supply criminals with firearms is a blatant and convenient lie, as the NSW police have openly admitted on at least three occasions that they are singularly unable and incapable of preventing the flow of illegal weapons.
Never mind that more than 85 percent of all illegal gun crime is committed with illegal weapons.
Never mind that there are still at least five high explosive rocket launchers in the hands of criminals, said rocket launchers remain at large and as is the reality, the chances of them being recovered ranges from slim to none.
Never mind that criminals in Sydney have access to all the guns they want, that gun murders occur daily, that despite the pleadings and teary plaints of bleeding heart liberals, the stabbings and assaults and murders will continue unabated.
Laws do not matter to the lawless. Now, then, ever.
More gun laws, more bans , more regulations…and we, like Europe and the UK, walk the same path into the abyss.
The UK has draconian gun bans and knife bans and knife control and laws and “crackdowns”..yet the violence spirals out of control and people are murdered every single day.
A police “sweep” in London netted 100 people for “knife crimes” (said crime being having a paring knife in a bag with which to cut an apple…never mind, sir off to jail you go”. Self defence is not an excuse.).The “sweep ” was trumpeted as a law enforcement victory..what it was, was an exercise in futility and public relations.
The murders continue.
Athens is burning. Belgium is in flames.
Thugs run riot in the street and people barricade themselves in their homes. None of them will be able to reach for a firearm with which to defend themselves and their loved ones, for they too have been disarmed.
From gun control to knife control, bans, laws, laws and more laws…all, in the end, utterly impotent against a well armed and ruthless criminal element who do not care one whit for any law…and who will do whatever they wish, regardless.
As always, the nanny state will only affect the law abiding, whose freedoms and rights are already under threat. Alice Springs now holds a singular distinction, as does its sister city in the US, Washington DC…Washington is the state with some of the most draconian gun bans and laws..and is the murder capital of the US..Alice Springs, with all its gun laws and knife laws…is now the stabbing capital of Australia.
Venture out after 10pm at your imminent peril…and woe betide the citizen who is caught with a defensive weapon on their person, for they shall go to jail. A few days ago a mugger was arrested after six assaults, and had two knives on his person…his targets were, to a man, unarmed and defenceless.
Mumbai will go down as the epitome of the futility of gun laws and gun bans and knife bans and weapon laws….as hundreds were massacred with “illegal weapons”…the citizenry, yet again, becoming nothing more then moving targets for well armed terrorists.
Every single gun rampage, every single massacre, every mass murder…all have had one thing in common.
Give us more, O Emperor! »« AIIIEEEE! My EYES!
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