LC’S and G.L.O.R’s, it has come to the attention of His Imperial Highness, and his duly appointed Officer of the Empire (Pacific Operations Command), that a goodly number of our patrons are given to this strange compulsion to utter the word “FIRST” when entering a new thread.

It seems odd to His Majesty™, since the statement “FIRST” contains no information that cannot already be identified by the numerical indicator on the page where said comment appears.

If you have a relevant comment to make, fine. If it contributes to the thread and topic, fine, in which case there is no need to claim “first”…this is about what you have to say, not how often you say it.

Be it therefore commanded, under pain of mockery, and a week of being subjected to the undivided and uncensored attention of Our Imperial Torturer™, that the practice of “FIRST” shall cease herewith.

By proclamation of a hot and very annoyed Emperor, as relayed by his humble servant.

CC: BC, Imperial Torturer™ and Henchman

Remember the post about the temp teacher who was, according to himself, fired for “practicing wizardry?”

Remember alert reader jarbar who pointed out that the story sounded more than a little bit wet to him and that maybe it would be a good idea to hold back a bit until it had been verified by somebody other than Mr. Temp Teacher?

Well guess what? Jarbar was right. The twit wasn’t fired for making toothpicks disappear, he was fired for using language in class that would make sailors blush, being unable to control his class and for putting the students in charge.

Which is an immense relief to yours truly, even though it means that we have to apologize for the error and issue a correction. But that’s nothing. Loose shit happens, and we’ll have our Bullshit-Meter sent in for recalibration tomorrow. We’re just happy that it didn’t turn out to be a hysterical complaint from one of the 0.000001% of evangelicals who make the rest of us look like witch hunter generals. And they do exist, sadly, which is the only excuse we can come up with for not just ignoring the non-story in the first place.

So consider the story corrected and apology issued.

With our thanks to jarbar for keeping in touch and letting us know about the update.

(The original post has been updated too, in case somebody comes across it via Google or somewhere else).