I do apologize for being the last to do so… Well, no I don’t. I have to have the last word, you know. I’m the Emperor, after all. But I definitely can’t not personally wish you all a wonderful Christmas, Hanukkah, Solstice, whatever you celebrate this time of year.

It matters not. What matters is that we’re here, that we have each other, that we have things to celebrate together and things to reach out to each other over when things aren’t so bright. What flavor our faith is, or non-faith for that matter, isn’t really that important right now. To us as individuals, sure, but to us as a community, no.

If there’s one thing that this site has taught me, it is that we can all come together. Not on all things, there will always be issues on which we disagree most vehemently, and thank G-d for that or I’d be bored to death, but if we put our minds to it, we can simultaneously have spirited, heated arguments over that on which we don’t agree and get together on those issues were we do.

I’ve also learned that no man or woman with a community like ours is ever truly alone. To be sure, we may feel alone when life overwhelms us, I’m no stranger to that feeling, but we aren’t really. We’re no further from not being alone than a simple reach out to those who care, and they’re all around us. And this community has provided me and, I hope, all of you, with a readily available and easy way of reaching out when the need arises.

It’s funny when I think about it. This site started out more than 6 years ago because I needed a place to “vent.” I never expected anybody to really read it, much less be interested if they did, yet here we are today. This site, founded to be all about me, isn’t anymore. And I’m grateful for it. I have learned so much, got to know people that I’d have never known otherwise and got to feel the love and support of people I’d never met but, most of all, I have accomplished that which most people never are lucky enough to achieve: I’ve created something bigger than myself.

And I didn’t even know what the heck I was doing when I did it, but that’s true for much of my life. Mheh.

I’m thankful for each and every one of you. I am thankful for those who touched my life and helped me become a better person, those who came and went, those who are still here and those who have yet to show up.

All of you changed and will in the future change me, in some way, and all for the better. We’ve shared sorrows, we’ve shared joys, we’ve wasted retarded amounts of time being just silly, and all of that has been an energy source that would not otherwise have been available to me.

You’ve changed my life and, more importantly, in some cases I’ve been blessed enough to be part of changing some of yours as well, to be part of the rock that you’ve been for me throughout the years.

And all because somebody finally talked me through the easy steps of setting up a website.

Funny how that works, isn’t it?

So I want to thank every single one of you, because without you this site wouldn’t be what it is. It is as much yours as it is mine, if not more so.

I also want to thank every one of the contributors on the Imperial Staff who’ve helped keep the free ice cream flowing when I was too busy doing other stuff. Without you, this would have been a boring place indeed. And not “just” because of you “filling in”, but much more importantly because of your unique perspectives. You can write things that I never could because I’m not you, and Heaven knows that you haven’t been anywhere near sufficiently remunerated for your efforts. The Imperial Pay and Benefits Plan sucks.

And a special thanks to Dave who for years has been making sure that the pipes have kept piping and the pumps have kept pumping around here along with offering himself up as a loyal punching bag. If you want an example of how friendship and politics are two completely different and unrelated matters, you need look no further.

We’re a strange gang around here, but we’re a great gang, and I thank you all for being part of my life.

G-d Bless You All.

Mish

Roughly this last time last week, things we’re looking pretty gloomy for the Empire’s One and Only First Choice- RadioCIA. In a desperate, yet humbling situation I asked for some help to keep us on the air until financial times were better. As ALWAYS, the pack, our sane little corner of a mad-world, came through. Even from some loyal readers that might surprise you, based on principles. We can’t express enough gratitude for that timely and immediate help. We have enough on had to get us through for a few months and by then the picture should be immensely better and our future broadcasting secure. The Boss has started a new career with a rosy future and things are looking good, veddy veddy GOOD for the Imperial Household™, however, nothing seems immediately at hand for me, I trust in Him to provide the right help and just in time, not mine but His.

Meanwhile back at the station, we’re moving up slowly, but surely. Numbers are improving and THAT is what give us the motivation to keep us working to maintain a totally independent and world-wide capable media. A true voice for the “little guy”. Not just a slogan for a thoroughly corrupt political party and their big media machine lackeys. The Emperor once again gelled my thoughts a bit better, it IS your station because without listeners, our expenditures and efforts (significant, trust me) would be for naught. And you DO have a voice through us, we can and will get your thoughts out there to share with whoever tunes us in. We can’t stress it enough, running a media player connected to the station should barely slow your connection and not interfere with your browser, email client or any other software running. No annoying commercials and you do have a say in what we play, especially during live broadcasts, the staff here, now that we’re settled into the the Lonestar Studios is returning to our scheduled live programming and happy to take requests as well as breaking news and tips during Rottie Radio Night, which it IS TODAY.

I’ll be on on airwaves from 7:00pm CT with Tuesday Truth and can be reached via Yahoo IM at: tuesdaytruth or the RadioCIA request line: ciarequestATgmail.com. Just remember it’s LIVE radio and it might take awhile to get to your IMs pups.

Immediately followed by His Imperial Invectiveness™ with Keep The Home Fires Burning at 9:30 pm-12:00 am or until we here at HQ pulls his plug.

The Emperor can be reached via Yahoo IM at: emperor_misha and of course at the RadioCIA request line as above.

[Much to my eternal and deep, and trust me VERY deep regrets, I have quite an enormous bit of studying to do tonight in preparation for tomorrow. I'm not coming by it easy here but hey, I'm not complaining. Except about the timing, which couldn't have been worse. But I have no choice in the matter. Loads of materials to be studied, memorized and compartmentalized, and not nearly enough time in which to do it. My sincere and heartfelt apologies along with my promise that I'll do better -- Emp. Misha]

All brought to you free of charge and commercials by “Your First Choice On The Internet-RadioCIA”

[Now for some technical stuff: If you haven't already or are returning to listen in (from about a month or more ago), you'll have to stop by the website, and use the "Play Now" button to tune our new 64kbps stream at the bottom of the page, under "Broadband", most DSL and all Cable ISP users can use this. We still have the 32kbps stream running for those with crappy DSL or dial-up connections, BUT we have migrated to a new (and way cheaper, yet first class quality) Shoutcast Streaming Audio Server Host and you'll have to go through that step to bookmark the new stream URLs. The old ones will NOT work. If you're using Winamp, JetAudio, WMP or Itunes you can bookmark the stream and not bother with having to spin up your browser and navigate to the "Play Now" to get dialed-in. If you're having troubles we'll do our best to get you rolling. Generally we'll have another IM account open during our talk shows and the production staff can help you a bit more timely than the on-air host.]

Carry-On…..and don’t forget we start at 7 pm Central Time Zone, actually Imperial Time Zone™..mheh….

LC Jaybear advised that the Washington state Toys for Tots drive is not going so well this year. So I did a little checking and my local drive has seen better days too.

Y’all know that this is a worthy charity, and this is the season for giving, so please do what ya can. One simple toy can make or break a Christmas for a needy kid.

That is all, and thank you.

Sorry I haven’t been posting, but I’ve been running around trying to get the new ride ready for the local inspector Nazis, which involves a fair bit of running from place to place. But this ain’t about me.

LC Ohio Right Wing Nut and his missus have hit upon some seriously nasty times. First his wife lost his job and now her truck went dead, necessitating some repairs and parts. I know, it sounds like a country song, but having been in similar situations, as you all know, where everything just seems to hit you on the head at once, I can tell you that it ain’t funny. Not even remotely. And right before Christmas too.

Things will turn around for them, I know, but right now they could really use some prayers, so let this be the official call for the Imperial Prayer and Good Thoughts Brigade to get to work.

Please.

And thank you in advance. You guys rock.

Here it is, Thanksgiving Day, and instead of posting pictures of bloody violence I thought I would just wish each and everyone of you a happy day in which to reflect on the things you are THANKFUL for.

For example, Misha has something to be thankful for: a new job with good bennies.

I am thankful for just another day above ground — the rest is all gravy.

I have the turkey in the oven, and it is stuffed with my White Castle stuffing.  A few years ago, I was the guest of a close friend who served this turkey stuffed with the best stuffing I had ever had.  I noticed that everyone was taking three and four helpings of the stuffing, and I asked my host what kind of stuffing it was.  She told me the secret:

White Castle Turkey Stuffing

Ingredients:

10 White Castle hamburgers, no pickles
1 1/2 tsp. ground sage
1 1/2 cups celery, diced
3/4 tsp. coarse ground black pepper
1 1/4 tsp. ground thyme
1/4 cup chicken broth

Directions:

In a large mixing bowl, tear the burgers into pieces and add diced celery and seasonings.  Toss and add chicken broth.  Stuff cavity of turkey just before roasting.  Recipe makes about 9 cups (enough for a 10 to 12 pound turkey)  Note:  Allow one (1) hamburger for each pound of turkey, which is the equivalent of 3/4 cup of stuffing per pound.

(To bake outside of the bird, place in a 2 1/2 quart casserole dish, and bake for 1 hour at 350 degrees F.)

Strange as all of this sounds, this makes the best stuffing you will ever eat.

BTW: I have upgraded this site to WP 2.7-beta3-9909.  There shouldn’t be any major problems.  If Misha can talk Hosting Matters into upgrading from PHP 4.4.7 to PHP 5.2.6 then every bell and whistle will work flawlessly.

I leave you with this great joke I just found:

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:

a half-gallon of 2% milk,
a carton of eggs,
a quart of orange juice,
a head of romaine lettuce,
a 2 lb. can of coffee and
a 1 lb. package of bacon.

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.”

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?”

The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

Happy Thanksgiving!

UPDATE: I had to roll back the upgrade due to the incompatable setup on the Hosting Matters servers.  The newest version absolutely requires PHP 5.  I suspect that HM will have to upgrade if they plan on keeping most of their clients, because in about two weeks when the actual release of WP 2.7 comes out, everyone is going to be upgrading, and it will be very interesting to watch the train wreck around here.

This just to thank all of you who threw in your support, prayers, help, hints, good wishes and sacrificed rodents in our name because guess what? It WORKED.

Yes, His Imperial Majesty is no longer among the woefully unemployed, and I know better than to assume that all of your best wishes and happy thoughts had nothing to do with it. Nothing “just happens”, so I’m even more in your debt than I already was.

Obviously I can’t go into any sort of details here, but suffice it to say that I am very well satisfied with my new direction in life, very well satisfied indeed. It is not merely “a” job, it is the job.

Now, if y’all will pardon me, I need to run outside and do the nekkid happy dance again, and I shall continue to do so until they come to put me away.

This has been a public service announcement, YAY!

Yeeeeeeeeeeeee-HAWWWWW.

Now that we’ve managed to unpack enough boxes to at least make room to have a seat at the console and overcoming a few MAJOR technical problems. The Lone Star Headquarters Studio of RadioCIA is up and running in Cowtown USA.

That means back to work for your humble hosts on the intertubewebnet ether waves, deliver strong, conservative commentary while we witness the slap-stick comedy of the Annointed One’s™ juggernaut of cabinet selections and coronation preps. Some change were seeing, right back to 1996. The only unknown is his choice of interns and their uniforms, hopefully with stain-guard built-in.

Regardless, the Show is ON.

I’ll be on on airwaves from 7:00pm CT with Tuesday Truth and can be reached via Yahoo IM at: tuesdaytruth or the RadioCIA request line: ciarequestATgmail.com. Just remember it’s LIVE radio and it might take awhile to get to your IMs pups.

Immediately followed by His Imperial Invectiveness™ with Keep The Home Fires Burning at 9:30 pm-12:00 am or until we here at HQ pulls his plug.

The Emperor can be reached via Yahoo IM at: emperor_misha and of course at the RadioCIA request line as above.

All brought to you free of charge and commercials by “Your First Choice On The Internet-RadioCIA”

Without further explanations than this one, since there’s little that we could add, join us in celebrating:

With our most profound thanks to the troops who earned it.

A grateful nation thanks you, warriors!

Just a public service announcement to explain why His Imperial Majesty, yours truly, hasn’t exactly been meeting publication deadlines as of late which, he’s sure, has caused widespread Misha Rant Deprivation Syndrome across our Empire.

It turns out, upon consulting with a physician to confirm what we already, being all-knowing, knew, that His Imperial Rottieness has been assaulted by a respiratory bug most vile and that said bug had been gathering strength, drawing up plans and digging out the trench whistles since the middle of last week in preparation for a massive assault this Sunday last.

Needless to say, its efforts will be defeated eventually but we have to admire its execution of its plans, since it took us completely by surprise to the point where we were rendered weak as a kitten and feeling like a freight train just ran over us, a feeling that subsists still.

But now that we’ve got the counteroffensive planned out thanks to the wonders of pharmaceuticals (better living through chemistry!), we expect the nasty bronchitis to be laid waste to in short order, with our victorious immune system doing victory jigs over the bodies of its troops.

For now, however, expect no great outbursts of anything from us. We leave it to the Imperial Staff™ (the other one, you pervs) to keep you amused, an area in which they have skills second to none.

Thatisall.

I don’t usually single anybody out on Veterans’ Day, it is a day that belongs to all veterans, but this year I’ll make an exception. It is only fitting, after all.

For those of you who have been around the site for a while, or for any amount of time, really, you’ll know that I have never been a “yes” man for President Bush. I have criticized him, mocked him, ridiculed him and called him names numerous times over the years when he made mistakes, and I stand by those criticisms, even though I might recant on some of the actual insults if pushed on it. I’m human, and I go over the top from time to time, so it’s quite possible, though inconceivable of course, that yours truly, benevolent as I am, might have said things in a fit of emotion over the years that I, upon reflection, should have worded differently.

It is also my firm belief that his policies have done more damage to the conservative “brand” than the loony left has ever, or could ever have done. His big-spending, big-government ways and his baffling over-eagerness when it comes to turning his back to present a better target for Democrat knives are but some of the things that contributed to his record low approval ratings as we approached this election, and we all get to pay the price now.

I stand by that, as I have stood by it in the past.

But if there is one thing that I would like to thank that proud veteran of the Texas Air National Guard for as he is leaving office, it is his human decency and honesty.

Throughout 8 years of being the target of the most vile, ridiculous and unfounded hatred and hysteria, I can’t remember him once giving back as he got, even though he was more than a little bit justified in doing so. I disagree with that approach, if somebody kicks me I’ll kick back, pausing only to put on my steel-nosed boots if I’m not already wearing them, but that’s not the point.

The point is that he always stayed above that. Talk about slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.

I also remember him never being too busy to take the time to talk to and commiserate with those in pain. Nobody was ever “unimportant” enough for him to give a hug and share a cry with if he had the time and, more often than not, if he didn’t have the time, he made the time. I’ve seen him cry with the loved ones of fallen heroes, I’ve seen him choke up when talking about the decisions he’d made to send men and women into battle, and not once did I see the slightest bit of “playing for the cameras” in there.

I’ve heard him talk honestly about his battle with the demon alcohol in his youth, his erring ways and his realization that he needed G-d in his life, yet I’ve never seen him blame anybody but himself for his mistakes.

I’ve seen him age from looking 5 or 10 years younger than he was when he took office to 10 to 15 years older than he is now that he’s getting ready to leave, having carried the burden of our nation and, at times, the world on his shoulders. Yet he has never, not once, complained about it.

I’ve seen him stand by the war in Iraq even when it was clear that his approval ratings, thanks to relentless propaganda from the MSM, were suffering for it. I saw him fly into Baghdad when Baghdad was still “hot” to share Thanksgiving with his soldiers, and all he got from the MSM was a concocted lie about the turkey being “plastic.”

And he never complained about that either.

If ever any man had just reason to get pissed off and fire off an angry tirade, it would have been him, more times than I can count, and I believe that he should have. But he never did. Agree or not, that’s the mark of a gracious, decent man.

I won’t lie and pretend that I am going to miss his policies, but I am going to miss his decency.

And, for all of our differences, he remains a man that I’d be happy to buy a beer for.

So Mr. President, on this Veterans’ Day, allow me to say one thing:

Thank you for your service, and may G-d bless you.

Being, originally, EUroswine, I too tend to associate November 11th mainly with the Armistice in 1918, marking the end of the single most senseless waste of human life in history. Not as much as my British or ANZAC cousins, my native country having been neutral in WWI, but still. Besides, it’s not like Denmark didn’t have its share of losses in WWI, since the Germans had discourteously ripped off most of the southern part of it in 1864, a situation that wasn’t remedied until 1920. By referendum, by the way. So quite a few Danes from that region found themselves killed senselessly in the trenches too. But I digress…

I still find it fitting that we should use this day to not only remember the ones who fought in that conflict, but rather all veterans. Surely they are people who deserve to be remembered, having risked and, in some cases, given their all for their countries. Greater love hath no man, and no man is more deserving of respect.

And so we dedicate today to remembering all of those who left home and hearth, all they knew and loved behind to go fight for their countries if need be, and die for them if they must.

In all honesty, though, we ought to have a day for remembering those who kept the homefires burning too. Their lives were full of sacrifice too, and without them there would have been no supplies for the men and women at the front and no home for them to return to. But today is not the day to discuss that.

No, today we remember those who put on the uniform and decided that their lives, though certainly important to them and their loved ones, were still less important than the cause they went to fight for. That there was something bigger than them, and that something was worth risking everything for.

If you ask a veteran, I’m willing to bet you that he’ll tell you that no such thought was in his head, that he simply went because “somebody had to do it” or because it was his duty. Veterans are a humble lot. Yet in his selfless answer the truth shines through. Somebody had to do it indeed, but who’s to say that “somebody” had to be him? “Duty” as well. Yes, it is indeed our duty to stand and fight for that in which we claim to believe, because if we’re not willing to fight for it, then we’re not worthy of having it in the first place. Freedom isn’t free.

But if duty is so self-explanatory, and indeed it is to most of us, then why wasn’t, and why isn’t everybody in uniform? Setting aside the practical reasons, obviously you still need the aforementioned homefront going, shouldn’t everybody at least volunteer for that duty?

Yet they don’t, and for good reasons too. This is not to diminish those who, for various reasons, feel with justification that they can do their duty better in other ways. It is to point out that still, in spite of that, some still stood up and said “OK, this one’s on me”, when quite a few of them could have found many good, just and logical reasons why it should be somebody else.

They went, and as a result somebody else didn’t have to. It doesn’t make the one any better than the other, we can all help in our own way, it just illustrates the sacrifice that they made, a sacrifice worth remembering and honoring.

Not just today, but all year long. But today is the day we have set aside for it, and set it aside to emphasize our commitment to never forget those brave souls and to always honor and return their love for us.

Thank you, all of you, for somehow finding us worth fighting for. Thank you for everything that you do and have done, for everything that you have done and are doing without, and rest assured that we will never forget that, that you will always have a place in our hearts.

Because you earned it.

G-d Bless You, and G-d Bless the United States of America.

Here’s a little remedial training video for those of you “Gun-clingers™” out there who are pondering the purchase of an Eeeeevil 2nd Amendment Instrument o’ Doom™ before The Obamabortion™ and his Washingtonian Politburo outlaw them. Kudos to The Dissident Frogman for this timeless (and timely) classic.

Note: The Imperial Librarian™, LC Azygos, helpfully reminded us to post a “Spew Alert!” for those of you who might not have seen it before.

F.E.T.E.

Like the tattoo on my arm says “God, Country, Corps. Since 1775″. Our glorious Corps was born in a bar. Our first recruiter was the bar keep, and the first recruiting incentive was two free beers to sign up. I’m sensing a pattern here, so drink up Devil Dogs! “Here’s Health To You And To Our Corps, Which We Are Proud To Serve!”

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was God. In the Beginning was God - and all else was darkness, and void, and without form. So God created the heavens and the earth. He created the sun, and the moon, and the stars, so that light might pierce the darkness. And the earth God divided between the land and the sea, and these He filled with many assorted creatures. And the dark, salty, slimy creatures that inhabited the murky depths of the oceans, God called sailors, and He dressed them accordingly.

And the flighty creatures of the air He called airmen. And these He clothed in uniforms which were ruffled and fowl.

And the lower creatures of the land, God called soldiers. And with a twinkle in His eye, and a sense of humor that only He could have, God gave them trousers too short, and covers too large, and pockets to warm their hands. And to adorn their uniforms, God gave them badges. And He gave them cords. And He gave them ribbons… and patches… and stars… and bells. He gave them emblems… and crests… and all sorts of shiny things that glittered… and devices that dangled. When you’re God, you tend to get carried away in a big way.

And on the 7th day, as you know, God rested. And on the 8th day at 0530, God looked down upon the earth and was not happy.

GOD WAS NOT HAPPY!

So He thought about His labors, and in His infinite wisdom, God created a divine creature and this He called a Marine. And these Marines whom God created in His own image, were to be of the air, the land, and the sea. And these He gave many wonderful uniforms.

He gave them practical, fighting uniforms, so that they could wage war against the forces of Satan and evil.

He gave them service uniforms for their daily work and training, that they might be sharp and ready.

And He gave them evening and dress uniforms. Sharp, stylish, handsome things, so they might score with the ladies on Saturday night, and impress the hell outta everybody!

And at the end of the 8th day, God looked down upon the earth, and saw that it was good. But was God happy? No!

GOD WAS STILL NOT HAPPY!

Because in the course of His labors, He had forgotten one thing… He did not have a Marine uniform! But He thought about it, and thought about it, and finally satisfied Himself in knowing that, well, not everybody can be a Marine…

233 Reasons To Love The Corps (slightly revised and edited from the original Marine Corps Times version)

Give us more, O Emperor! »« AIIIEEEE! My EYES!

Gratuitously piggy backing on the Emperors post below, I came across this at Michelle’s place. Send Sarah! a message and counteract the fuck-nozzles Misha talked about.