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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Archive for Funny Shit

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Archive for the “Funny Shit” Category

Uncle J over at Blackfive alerts us to this delicious bit of irony. Seems Code Monkey at From My Position…On The Way was trolling the webs for some pink action (Not that kind BC, get yer mind out of the gutter) and…well I’ll let him explain.

I was trolling around on the dark side of the internet today to see how the hippies were responding to Gaza. I decided to see how the nitwits in pink were reacting and typed what I thought was their web page address into the address bar.
WARNING: Clicking the link below while consuming a beverage may be bad for the health of your monitor and/or keyboard!

Now trust me on this one and click here:

http://www.codepinkforpeace.com

Oh the irony…

-Code Monkey

BWUHAHAHAHA!!!! Somebody deserves a medal for that right there!

Comments 32 Comments »

…from our Democrat and RINO overlords:

YouTube Preview Image

(H/t LC & IB Rurik)

Comments 16 Comments »

Getting a little short on cash for the holidays? Well “W” and Congress have produced the “speed lane” documentation for empty pocketed businesses. I trust the pack to creatively invent their own individual failed businesses to get in on the hand-outs. All you need to do is “promise” to vote for the “D” ticket during the next elections. Just keep in mind, Lugosi and Reid’s “bi-partisan” promises when you sign-up.

Jump on in and collect your neighbor’s hard-earned dollars while the fuckweasels in DC, fight over who to give them too. All in the Christmas spirit, of course.

H/T- black-and-right.com

Not to tell you what to do, but I’d opt for the Grand Cayman bank deposit. They’re what the Swiss banking industry used to be about….. privacy. After all we wouldn’t want the IRS involved, no?

Comments 30 Comments »

Sorry for the absence pups, had a real severe case of the “busy”s. That and a UA muse (Who better have a damned good excuse when the bitch finally comes home too). But since our Imperial Thug™ has finally announced his son’s safe return from the sandbox, I was moved to post this. That and the fact Brendan’s last post had it real dusty in here and I needed the laugh. This was written at the end of WWII by a Marine with a typewriter and too much time on his hands. It can verily easily be applied to vets of any war.

From: Commandant of the Marine Corps

To: All Units

Subject: Indoctrination for return to CONUS

1. In compliance with current policies for rotation of armed forces overseas, it is directed that in order to maintain the high standards and character of the American Marine and to prevent any dishonor to reflect on the uniform, all individuals eligible for return to the U.S. under current directives will undergo an indoctrination course on demilitarization prior to the approval of his application for return.

2. The following points will be emphasized during the subject course;

A. In America there are a remarkable number of beautiful girls. These young ladies have not been liberated and are gainfully employed as stenographers, salesgirls, cosmeticians, and welders. Contrary to current practices they shoudl not be approached with “How much?” A proper greeting is, “Isn’t it a lovely day?” or “Have you ever been to Chicago?” You can then ask “How much?”

Give us more, O Emperor! »

Comments 18 Comments »

Comments 54 Comments »

Iowahawk scoops the rest of the world’s Lamestream Midiots™ with his exclusive coverage of the mea culpa’s coming from the Allah’s Assholes™ after the 12,356th or so “Isolated Incident™” to happen since 9/11/2001.

We’ll give you a short snippet, but you’re going to have to go on over and read it in its entirety.

MUMBAI - Ajmal Amir Kasab, the sole surviving member of the 10-man team of Pakistani gunmen that left hundreds dead or wounded after a bloody three day rampage in Mumbai, today blamed the mayhem on an “email mixup” that left him and his colleagues unaware that Barack Obama had won election as President of the United States.

“What? Oh bloody hell, now you tell me,” said Kasab, as he was led away in handcuffs by Indian security forces.

Kasab, 21, apologized to Indian President Pratibha Patil, explaining that no one in his group had known about the recent U.S. election results.

“Boy, talk about having egg on the face,” said a visibly embarrassed Kasab. “If we knew Bush was on his way out, obviously we would have called off the crazy random baby-shootings and martyrdom stuff, and signed on with the Peace Corps or Habitat for Humanity. At this point I guess all I can say is ‘my bad.’”

It only gets better. Go read the rest of it. NOW!

F.E.T.E.

Comments 26 Comments »

As all of you know, we’re in the process of moving from Bossier City, LA to the Fort Worth, Texas area.  And you also know that JB and Country Red are moving with us.

Well, recently through our radio contacts, we came up with a whole bunch of free tickets to the Gaither’s Homecoming “Lovin’ Life” tour concert here in Shreveport/Bossier City.  Far more tickets than we could use, in fact, so we gave a large number of tickets to a local church.  A small church, with little funding, composed of members who for the most part, couldn’t afford $35 concert tickets.  (The Gaither’s, if you aren’t familiar with them, are a gospel music coalition of artists).

The church members were grateful.  Extremely grateful, and took up a special collection to send JB and myself out to dinner.  They sent us a very nice “thank you” card along with two $30 gift cards to Texas Roadhouse.  The cards came at a wonderful time as the Radio CIA Bossier Studio Kitchen is packed and ready to load on the freight trailer that’s sitting in front of the house, so last night we took the ladies, proceeded to Texas Roadhouse, had a wonderful meal, and came back home.

Now the fun begins.

Give us more, O Emperor! »

Comments 34 Comments »

…or something like that.

An Alert Lurking Reader (come on in, dear, the water’s nice! :D ) tips us off to a site called “M.D.O.D.” I guess that I’m not the only one throwing around mysterious abbreviations with a smug grin on my face. Serves me right. But I, His Imperial Benevolence, forgive them, because those conservative doctors are a hoot and a half.

Take this post, for instance, an interesting dissertation on Altered Mental Status that, if you read it through, isn’t at all going where you think it’s going. Thinking back on the Imperial med school days, I find myself wishing that our textbooks had been written by those guys.

So into the Dept. of Education they go. Along with this doc, who has realized that Marxism is not just for economists anymore. Teaser:

It seems that the sickest 5% of patients are taking up entirely too much of my time, so I’m going to stop giving so much attention to those with heart attacks and strokes. I just want to make sure that everybody who is behind them with chronic back pain or poison ivy, that they’ve got a chance too. They shouldn’t have to wait longer to be seen just because they were triaged to a lower acuity level. My attitude is that if the ER is good for folks from the bottom up, it’s gonna be good for everybody.

[...]

[...]

[...]

Yes, it is satire. I just had to hold off saying so until the last Obamalyte’s head had exploded. It cracks me up every time.

Welcome to the Empire, gents!

Comments 8 Comments »

Sorry, I just had to steal this one from the Imperial Minister of War’s site:

YouTube Preview Image

Thank G-d indeed…

Comments 17 Comments »

Thanks to LC hilljohnny, we direct you now to the thigh-slappingly, rip-roarously hilarious take on the election results.

I know it isn’t necessary, it’s Iowahawk, ferchrissakes, but for the remaining three people in the Empire who aren’t yet familiar with his writing style, here’s a teaser:

So for now, let’s put politics aside and celebrate this historic milestone. In his famous speech at the Lincoln Memorial 45 years ago, Dr. King said “I have a dream that one day my children will live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.” Let us now take pride that Tuesday we Americans proved that neither thing matters anymore.

Now go read the rest. We’ll be here all day.

Comments 12 Comments »


Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are

Comments 15 Comments »

I am so very grateful for this bit of news, because it gives me a much-needed opportunity to laugh my arse off, not to mention the first chance, within a scant two days of Comrade Hussein buying the election, to bring out my loud, obnoxious I Told You So!™ drum, an implement that I expect to make good use of over the next four years.

It looks like the Anointed One who thought nothing of spending more than half a billion dollars, hundred of millions of which were raised by deliberate, illegal means, to buy an election can’t quite find it in himself to pay the employees who worked so tirelessly to help him get to his coronation.

Indianapolis - Lines were long and tempers flared Wednesday not to vote but to get paid for canvassing for Barack Obama. Several hundred people are still waiting to get their pay for last-minute campaigning. Police were called to the Obama campaign office on North Meridian Street downtown to control the crowd.

The line was long and the crowd was angry at times.

“I want my money today! It’s my money. I want it right now!” yelled one former campaign worker.

I know the feeling. Every year as I fill in my 1040 I’m thinking the exact same thing.

So how’s that Hope and Change™ working for you?

A former spokesman for the Obama campaign said 375 people were hired as part of the Vote Corps program and said people signed up to work three-hour shifts at a time. Three hours of canvassing got workers a $30 pre-paid Visa card.

The workers showed up to get their cards Wednesday morning at 10:00 am.

“There was a note on the door saying 1:00 pm and then at 1:20 pm everybody was like why is nobody here. They just got here and they’re trying to get it organized,” said Heather Richards, a former campaign worker.

The large gathering of around 375 people prompted police to call in extra officers and set up temporary barricades. The barricades helped keep the crowd from spilling out onto Meridian Street. Police say the several hundred people in line were for the most part orderly.

Except for the yelling, that is. Not even 48 hours after the ascension of The One and already lines are forming. Get used to it, Obots, pretty soon it’ll be a way of life for you and you won’t hardly notice it anymore as you line up for the alms you Hope to receive. Day in, day out, for the rest of your lives.

Eventually people did start getting paid, but some said they were missing hours and told to fill in paperwork making their claim and that eventually they would get a check in the mail.

“Still that’s not right. I’m disappointed. I’m glad for the president, but I’m disappointed in this system,” said Diane Jefferson, temporary campaign worker.

“It should have been $480. It’s $230,” said Imani Sankofa.

“They gave us $10 an hour. So we added it. I added up all the hours so it was supposed to be at least $120. All I get is $90,” said Charles Martin.

“I worked nine hours a day for 4 days and got paid half of what I should have earned,” said Randall Waldon.

Don’t be so damned ungrateful, peasant! Don’t you know that doing without is patriotic? Just ask Assistant Chairman Hairplugs.

Besides, you already got all of your promised Hope, and now you’re getting some Change as well to jingle in your pockets, so what on Earth are you complaining about?

You just helped your Anointed One taking the shaft to the entire nation and you’re surprised that he’d take the shaft to you as well?

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

And thus the learning begins…

Comments 24 Comments »

Well, we don’t have to be so dead serious all the time, do we?

Comments 11 Comments »

Yeah, it’s an Iowahawk post, so you know it’s going to be funnier than a three-legged dog tryin’ to piss on a tree. But, as you’ll see in this post, Professor Iowahawk takes the subject of statistics and shows you just how fun it can be. “How fun can statistics be?“, you may be asking yourself. (And that’s a very good question.) Here’s a hint— Any post that ends with the sentence “Until then, fondle your own balls.” has GOT to be good.

F.E.T.E.

Comments 9 Comments »

I felt some humor would be appropriate right about now, considering that after a day full of worrying and praying for the Boss I came home and saw a light at the end of the tunnel for him. So anyhooo, Blackfive’s Uber Pig has an excellent series called “Ask An Infantryman” where he takes a Dear Abby letter and turns it over to the grunts for a trigger pullers advice. The results are hillarious to say the least. Well the most recent question was a lil’ bit different.

Give us more, O Emperor! »

Comments 13 Comments »