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The Obamessiah Visits Gym, MSM Swoons!
Posted by: Emperor Misha I in Journaljizzm1:35 PM
(Thanks to LC & IB Doubleplusundead for the tip as well as the graphic, which we simply appropriated. We are Emperor, after all).
It is getting well nigh impossible to parody the MSM anymore since they do a much better job of it themselves:
the Illinois Senator spent a total of 188 minutes in the gym yesterday – making three separate stops to Chicago gyms over the course of one day.
The presumptive nominee started his Tuesday with a short morning work out at the gym of his friend and longtime aide Mike Signator’s apartment building.
…
Obama left the East Bank Club at 9 pm last night. A mere 11 hours later he was back in the gym again on Thursday morning.
CLEAR THE DAMN PRESSES! We are not worthy! How lucky we are to be allowed to live in the era of the gym-visiting, lightworking anointed one who showers upon us countless blessings with his presence among us mere mortals!
Now… Where did we leave the damn anti-emetics again?
Entries (RSS)
The MSM has applied for a grant to fund the rebreathing apparatuses they need for the hordes of “reporters” that have their heads so far up yo-mama’s ass it will take a week for them to back out of. We may as well settle in and have plenty of Orville Redenbacher’s (provided that Big Oil hasn’t appropriated it all) handy. The feces hasn’t begun to hit the oscillator and there’s a shitload going to be dumped on us before November. Yo-mama’s comings and goings are far more relevant than trivial issues like success in Iraq, coastal drilling, etc.
July 17th, 2008 at 2:04 PMUsing
Do not mock the Annointed One, O Emperor! His followers are no doubt monitoring this site and taking names. Is there a video of Obambi’s visits to said gymnasiums? I bet The Prophet can bench press at least five pounds with those skinny arms of his. :em99: :em01:
July 17th, 2008 at 2:29 PMUsing
we’re not worthy to drink his shower water!!!!
This is why he’s gonna win folks, the media are making him a saint…..and there are enough useful idiots in this country who are going to buy that crap in bushels.
but if anyone thinks this guy is an athlete, then look at this form:
an underhanded layup? He’s the savior….he should be able to swish that ball through sheer will alone. And look at that jump…what is it? about 6 inches? I thought he floated at least three feet off of the ground…..how disappointing
July 17th, 2008 at 2:33 PMUsing
Yeah but can he bench press that elephant sized ego of his?
July 17th, 2008 at 2:42 PMUsing
There once was a boy named Obama,
July 17th, 2008 at 2:50 PMWhose name sounded much like Osama,
Three times to the gym went he,
And all the media swooned with glee,
Then they took turns giving him head in the sauna.
:em95:
Using
Thursday Links…
Hot Air: DC Rejects Heller’s Gun Permit Application
July 17th, 2008 at 3:01 PMRightwing News: Mathematically Confirmed: There is No Climate Change Crisis
Exurban League: Top Ten Ways To Mock Obama
Big Mouth Frog: We Live In Isolation, We Fear One Another, We Are Too Cynic…
Using
Heh, that’s okay, I “borrowed” it for when I do mock Drudge posts.
July 17th, 2008 at 3:18 PMUsing
Obambi. POTUS Candidate. Messiah. Stinky gym rat. Now the MSM can get down to telling us the really important, critical stuff like what kind of breakfast cereal and toilet paper he likes. And we will swooooon.
July 17th, 2008 at 3:58 PMUsing
any article about McSame going to the gym would quickly degenerate into a grim discussion of defibrilators
July 17th, 2008 at 4:26 PMUsing
Sir Christopher,
Only when the Kos Kids and the insane horde at HuffPo get their grimy paws into it.
Ted
July 17th, 2008 at 4:37 PMUsing
I know ( by my screen name alone) I can kick his ass on the lanes, pretty sure, since I hit the gym twice sometimes three times a week, I can bench, curl and squat more than His Holliness.
July 17th, 2008 at 5:02 PMUsing
Eh, I don’t think that’s blessings…did he tell us it’s raining yet?
July 17th, 2008 at 5:59 PMUsing
Un.
Fucking.
Believable.
How many lawsuits is it going to take to end the ass-baggery?
July 17th, 2008 at 6:10 PMUsing
Awwww, Sire, you’ve got the Drudge Press Alert Light! Cool!
July 17th, 2008 at 6:27 PMUsing
I bet when the MSM catches Lord Obama blowing his nose, they will trip all over each other to get his handkerchief or Kleenex.
July 17th, 2008 at 6:35 PMUsing
Larry, you’re just bitter and clinging to God and your guns.
July 17th, 2008 at 6:35 PMUsing
:em01: :em01: :em01: :em01: :em01:
Outstanding! I’m writing that one in the next bathroom stall I can find.
July 17th, 2008 at 6:37 PMUsing
Back to the topic, how soon until Hussein’s gym towels end up on Ebay?
July 17th, 2008 at 6:40 PMUsing
Praise the Lord and pass the ammo Skye. :em01:
July 17th, 2008 at 7:17 PMUsing
On command, prepare to swoon!
July 17th, 2008 at 8:55 PMUsing
Im Standing at the ready to commence Swoon. Waiting for the next command…..but if swooning is a euphemism for groveling at the feet of a mulato former muslim .. well might as well charge me now. I pulling my stress card and citing the command as a unlawful order.
July 17th, 2008 at 9:19 PMUsing
Oh, the great Barack HUSSEIN Obama showing that he goes to the same places that we heathen commoners do, WEEEEELL, GEEE MUDDAFUCKIN’ WHIZ!!! :em41: If America makes the mistake of electing that :em72: :em72: he’ll probably demand to be called “Great Leader” instead of “Mr President”.
July 17th, 2008 at 9:37 PMUsing
I don’t go to the gym. I work for a living.
I did walk the damn dog this morning and I may tomorrow, for him, not me. Tell the MSM I’ll commence this exercise around 8 AM tomorrow, it’s a day off of work so my schedule isn’t set in concrete.
July 17th, 2008 at 10:07 PMUsing
The plebes expect Barrach Obama
To spare them emotional trauma
But they’ll all blow a fuse
When they get the bad news
That the government isn’t their mama
Burmashave
July 17th, 2008 at 11:39 PMUsing
[...] I am not making this up. [...]
July 18th, 2008 at 7:59 AMUsing
Oh, the Annointed One will take care of that by ordering compulsive exercise sessions every morning to be lead by the local kapos of the Great Leader’s
July 18th, 2008 at 8:58 AMNational Elite SquadBrown Shirts. It will be for the good for the health of thesubjectscitizens. No exemptions permitted. :em04:Using
In addition to his used snotrags and sweaty towels, don’t forget his cigarette butts. :em38:
July 18th, 2008 at 9:02 AMUsing
Barack Adonai
July 18th, 2008 at 9:51 AMUsing
Aw, Damn!
Now I hafta feel sorry for him - he’s clearly one of those guys who’s in the gym day-after-day….
…and still comes away looking like Steve Urkel.
(gotta love the little fellows, though - they try so hard!)
……then again…
…Only an hour at a shot?
Wussy-boy.
- MuscleDaddy
July 18th, 2008 at 12:19 PMUsing
Just in from the news wire:
crowds gather as obama uses public restroom
July 18th, 2008 at 12:24 PMUsing
Back to the topic, how soon until Hussein’s gym towels end up on Ebay?
Ok. You’ve got dibs on the towels.
I’m stealing an idea from JayBear and bottling the shower water. I figure I can take some used Evian bottles (save packaging costs, you know), remove the labels and put them on backwards, and fill them full of Obambi’s used shower water. Should sell like hotcakes among the lemmings. Better their money lines our pockets than Obama’s campaign coffers.
Uh, Jay … yeah, they’d probably buy that if it touched him too. Gaaah.
July 18th, 2008 at 12:42 PMUsing
The Hammer has decided to drive this cheap nail into the woodwork.
Well not since Skeery Kerry…..but he’s old news. :em01:
July 18th, 2008 at 12:44 PMUsing
:em99: :em99: :em01: :em01: :em01:
Jeez - they look like extras from one of the “Living Dead” movies.
July 18th, 2008 at 12:57 PMUsing
most moonbat lefties do Cheryl :em99:
July 18th, 2008 at 1:04 PMUsing
An hour a day in the gym…. right! Thats fifeteen minutes to get dressed, 15 minutes of bullshittin around with the people in the gym, five minutes of “cardio” training (recumbant bike on setting one), 5 minutes back in the locker room entertaining his closet homo side, and twenty minutes to shower and reapply “lotion” to keep from lookin “ashey”.
July 18th, 2008 at 1:46 PMUsing
LMAO @ Troy … “ashey” :em01: :em01:
July 18th, 2008 at 4:55 PMUsing
kwongdzu
Your Evian choice is especially appropriate, since Evian backwards spells Naive. :em99:
July 18th, 2008 at 5:11 PMUsing
BiggDogg … You been hangin with the “brothers” too? Or you been “hood rattin”? :em99:
July 18th, 2008 at 7:39 PMUsing