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An announcement from the Management™
Posted by: in Blogs and Blogging, Bureaucracy, Corrections, Imperial Thoughts, LC Contributions, Life in the Empire7:35 PM
LC’S and G.L.O.R’s, it has come to the attention of His Imperial Highness, and his duly appointed Officer of the Empire (Pacific Operations Command), that a goodly number of our patrons are given to this strange compulsion to utter the word “FIRST” when entering a new thread.
It seems odd to His Majesty™, since the statement “FIRST” contains no information that cannot already be identified by the numerical indicator on the page where said comment appears.
If you have a relevant comment to make, fine. If it contributes to the thread and topic, fine, in which case there is no need to claim “first”…this is about what you have to say, not how often you say it.
Be it therefore commanded, under pain of mockery, and a week of being subjected to the undivided and uncensored attention of Our Imperial Torturer™, that the practice of “FIRST” shall cease herewith.
By proclamation of a hot and very annoyed Emperor, as relayed by his humble servant.
CC: BC, Imperial Torturer™ and Henchman
Entries (RSS)
Testy in Tejas, are we, Your Imperial Majesty?
October 11th, 2008 at 7:38 PMUsing
If you lived up here in liberal land you wouldn’t be hot. You would prolly be twice as annoyed what with putting up with the moonbats. Can’t hardly swing a club with out smacking one.
October 11th, 2008 at 7:40 PMBut tell me Brendan, what’s your beef with a tradition that has been around longer than you?
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Hey, Darth Philly, you got your own entry!
October 11th, 2008 at 7:43 PMUsing
Special Ed, ya missed the opportunity for the best FOIST evah!!
Uhmm, FOURTH!
October 11th, 2008 at 7:49 PMUsing
It is after all, a simple and fun competition. It gets a laugh now and again. What could be bad about that?
October 11th, 2008 at 7:52 PMUsing
I tried Crunch. It woulda been great!
October 11th, 2008 at 7:54 PMUsing
seventh
October 11th, 2008 at 7:54 PMUsing
Jaybear,
You must be using liberal math.
October 11th, 2008 at 7:56 PMUsing
Nineth!!!!!111111!!!
October 11th, 2008 at 8:05 PMUsing
Exactly the response one should expect at the Rott.
October 11th, 2008 at 8:28 PM:em01:
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eleventh!
(Sorry, Boss, couldn’t break the chain)
You’ve never been on his mailing list, have you?
shuddering
October 11th, 2008 at 8:38 PMUsing
Is this good, bad, commentary or just a transcript?
October 11th, 2008 at 8:39 PMUsing
Somethingth!
October 11th, 2008 at 8:49 PMUsing
Sire-
With all due respect, it seems the numbers are against you on this one. (Ooops) Even if you were to set forth an Imperial Fatwa Edict, I am certain there would always be that one bad apple. You are The One™ that they long to be one with. So, I for one, want to suggest a different approach. One that would benefit all concerned; one where life in the Empire can be one with the universe.
I submit to you the one plan that will work wonders:
Henchforth and Towit: Any one of you knuckleheaded L.C.’s that want to shoot yer mouths off being foist or some such thing will be required to ding the Imperial coffers to the tune of one dollar per comment on that thread. Payable at the timestamp of your payment to paypal.
That ought to quiet them down on that, Sire. Then they can start talking about impotent stuff like…. wait for it…
Country FOIST!!!
PS: As a service to all the GLOR’s out there, I’m re-posting a pic of myself from my venture down to the FL Rott Fest last Spring. Enjoy!
October 11th, 2008 at 8:51 PMUsing
Fifteenth!
October 11th, 2008 at 8:51 PMUsing
Moop, you dick!
STFU! I’m already broke!
October 11th, 2008 at 8:53 PMUsing
Counting off :em04:
Seventeenth!
October 11th, 2008 at 8:56 PMUsing
Rurik went to Public School in Chicago, but then he fixed it. How O!-like!
:em01:
Eighteenth!
October 11th, 2008 at 8:57 PMUsing
Wow, Mope…
You’ve taken shrinkage to a new level, man! That water must have been right around -273 F.
And while you’re here, who do you hire to wax your pubes?
October 11th, 2008 at 9:05 PMUsing
orderedtoldit was suggested that you destroy that pic and all negatives, digital or otherwise!Oh Gaaawd, the Horror!!! That’s the whole reason why the Tampa Spring Break co-ed beach babes fled in terror during the Fest!
Oh, and nineteenth!
October 11th, 2008 at 9:08 PMerr, twentieth
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Dart Beecon
You’ve taken shrinkage to a new level, man!
It may be shrunk but when it is cold… it’s like steel!
I take it this is our weekend open thread?
October 11th, 2008 at 9:10 PMUsing
Nobody Baco, they die from lack of sunlight. :em01:
October 11th, 2008 at 9:10 PMUsing
Looking that way Mopester! It certainly has been hijacked.
October 11th, 2008 at 9:11 PMUsing
Crunchie…
You’re brutal, baby. Just brutal.
Moop-
You mean brittle and easily snapped off?
October 11th, 2008 at 9:12 PMUsing
That’s why ya luv me Baco. :em02:
October 11th, 2008 at 9:13 PMUsing
Steel, I tells ya, steel. You just can’t see it ’cause of your poor eyesight.
October 11th, 2008 at 9:13 PMUsing
And lack of an electron scanning scope.
Oh, and twenty-seventh!
October 11th, 2008 at 9:15 PMUsing
I’m going to back upBrendan (and from what he writes the Emperor) here.
I know it’s a tradition, but it is an annoying tradition. I just swore it off long ago. Usually while you’re typing “Foist”, someone posts ahead of you. Then you look dumb. :em41:
October 11th, 2008 at 9:17 PMUsing
Hey!
I never said “First!” I always said, nummer ein.
Does it count if it’s in Deutsche? :em99:
Besides, the No First Fatwa is a despotic order that violates our First Amendment Rights.
And BTW, Mein Kommandant, it’s 45 F outside my window at this moment; I set my bottles of Newcastle Brown right outside—perfect. :em03:
LOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
October 11th, 2008 at 9:19 PMUsing
I haven’t laughed so much at a Rott thread in a long time. And to think that someone beat BC to the punch when it came to posting an offensive picture.
Boss, you should have known better than to try and reign in such a bunch of incorrigible retards as the usual LCs (present company included). Still, I do share your sentiment that the “first” declarations are a bit silly.
October 11th, 2008 at 9:23 PMUsing
Oh really, now? Apparently you didn’t see Mope’s original comment. :em93:
Oh, I almost forgot: Thirty-first!
October 11th, 2008 at 9:29 PMUsing
THIRTY FIRST!
October 11th, 2008 at 9:31 PM(bad twerp. baaaad twerp)
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Mmmm. Water that’s had a brown crayon swished around in it.
:em95:
Rights? Rights? Joo don’ have no steenkeen rights here!
Oops- Thirty-third!
October 11th, 2008 at 9:31 PMUsing
Crud. :em95:
October 11th, 2008 at 9:31 PMUsing
Geeze, Louise, Brendan.
Who peed in YOUR sandbox?
Oh, yeah…thirty-fifth!
October 11th, 2008 at 9:38 PMUsing
Fer chri-sakes, Skye-
I wasn’t peeing, that wasn’t Florida, and that isn’t me. Well I think it ain’t me anyway.
Screw it 36th.
October 11th, 2008 at 9:42 PMUsing
Who Will Be The First First To Be BC-IT’s New Chew Toy?
Not I!
October 11th, 2008 at 9:49 PMHa! 37th
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Damn civil disobedience!
G-d love ya, ya rascals! :em01:
Now, as to the whole “foist” thing, there’s nothing wrong with proudly announcing that you’re first. You’re looking at it the wrong way. Look at it this way: Proclaiming “foist” AND managing to hammer out a comment is *much* harder than just typing “foist” and hitting “Submit.” Even a Kostard can do the latter and surely, SURELY you don’t want to be judged by that standard?
Not that I could stop you if you did. Even an Emperor knows better than to try to reign in a pack. That’s what you do with herds.
And Crunchie is right. Special Ed just missed the opportunity to post the only “foist” full of Epic Win in recorded history. Neener. :em93:
October 11th, 2008 at 9:53 PMUsing
THIRTY-EIGHT.
October 11th, 2008 at 9:59 PMUsing
New Math? :em98:
October 11th, 2008 at 10:00 PMUsing
39th!
Shit .. I wish I WERE still 39 … :em95: for a number of reasons which I won’t clarify in public ..
October 11th, 2008 at 10:01 PMUsing
The answer to life, the universe, and everything.
October 11th, 2008 at 10:01 PMUsing
Keep trying, ALT! :em01: :em99: :em01: :em99:
October 11th, 2008 at 10:05 PMUsing
…and this bunch is like herding cats.
44th
October 11th, 2008 at 10:06 PMUsing
HA!!!!!
Eleventy Ninth!!!!!!!
October 11th, 2008 at 10:08 PMUsing
HEY! Who ya callin’ “civil”? :em96: :em99:
October 11th, 2008 at 10:08 PMUsing
FOIST one to call “hundredth” wins!
October 11th, 2008 at 10:10 PMUsing
Well
October 11th, 2008 at 10:11 PMUsing
okay
October 11th, 2008 at 10:11 PMUsing
Crunchie
October 11th, 2008 at 10:11 PMUsing
I’ll
October 11th, 2008 at 10:12 PMUsing
@ thepresenceusmc:
Howzat, now?
October 11th, 2008 at 10:12 PMUsing
race
October 11th, 2008 at 10:12 PMUsing
ya.
October 11th, 2008 at 10:12 PMUsing
Ranger’s winkin’ at the spam filter!
October 11th, 2008 at 10:13 PMUsing
Darth,
I farted in the general direction of the SPAM filter years ago.
:em01:
October 11th, 2008 at 10:15 PMUsing
Actually…I wasn’t “thirty-eight” but I will be “thirty-eight” the day after Michelle Malkin…though she’s smarter, prettier etc. :em93:
October 11th, 2008 at 10:20 PMIn lieu of cash I would like a Cubs line-up that won’t choke during the 2009 playoffs…nevermind-send cash. :em41:
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So, then, you did wink something at it…
October 11th, 2008 at 10:21 PMUsing
Fifty-Ninth.
October 11th, 2008 at 10:21 PMUsing
I’m with ACORN and this is 100th!!!!
WOOT!!!
October 11th, 2008 at 10:24 PMUsing
To quote an anti-American shithead lefty who now is thankfully dead:
“It was the dog!!! I saw his asshole open up!!!!!!”
May he burn in hell where he belongs.
October 11th, 2008 at 10:25 PMUsing
Yer
October 11th, 2008 at 10:25 PMUsing
on
October 11th, 2008 at 10:25 PMUsing
Ranger
October 11th, 2008 at 10:26 PMUsing
Sixty fifthiness
October 11th, 2008 at 10:26 PMUsing
Yer all racists if you don’t accept my 100th!!!
October 11th, 2008 at 10:29 PMUsing
Woo!
October 11th, 2008 at 10:29 PMUsing
Crap. Ran out of Tequila.
October 11th, 2008 at 10:29 PMUsing
Hoo!
October 11th, 2008 at 10:29 PMUsing
Comment
October 11th, 2008 at 10:30 PMUsing
Wars!!!!
:em95: :em95: :em95: :em95: :em95:
October 11th, 2008 at 10:30 PMUsing
Looks like Crunchie’s pushing the Envelope o’ Stoopid™, too. (Along with Ranger 6.)
:em41:
October 11th, 2008 at 10:30 PMUsing
I also forgot to cool off another twelve pack.
October 11th, 2008 at 10:31 PMUsing
Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jeff Burton Wins!!!!!!!!!!!!!
October 11th, 2008 at 10:31 PMUsing
Knock it off, you Swedish dildo-lickers!
October 11th, 2008 at 10:32 PMUsing
Yeah! Let the man eat his goddam waffle, for fuck’s sake!
October 11th, 2008 at 10:35 PMUsing
So when is your article 15 hearing?
October 11th, 2008 at 10:41 PMUsing
Company or Field Grade?
October 11th, 2008 at 10:45 PMUsing
I swore off “Foists” after my pissed off rant a couple of years ago when AmerenUE shit on me and cost me 3 or 4 fridges and freezers full of food in as many months….
But I will claim…. 79th
October 11th, 2008 at 10:49 PMUsing
A 12 pack would only be a company grade. 2 weeks restriction and extra duty and slit trench cleaning duty.
:em99:
October 11th, 2008 at 10:50 PMUsing
I do keep Black and Tans on supply since they work just fine at room temperature.
October 11th, 2008 at 10:53 PMUsing
Having to don MOPP Level IV gear and go trudging through Rosie O’Donut’s festering, fetid flaps is waaaay beyond a violation of the Geneva Conventions!
October 11th, 2008 at 10:57 PMUsing
Probably even a couple laws of nature as well.
October 11th, 2008 at 10:59 PMUsing
You mean Yuengling? You local?
October 11th, 2008 at 11:00 PMUsing
:em93: The very ones. :em93:
Born and raised in the Pottsville area, moved to Waukegan in “97″. (I forget why)
October 11th, 2008 at 11:03 PMUsing
BC, are you watching the ballgame? Wild! :em93:
October 11th, 2008 at 11:11 PMUsing
Babe in shower!!!!!!! :em69:
October 11th, 2008 at 11:16 PMUsing
And they sell that wherever Waukegan is?
Yeungling is the official beer of hipsters here.
These doofuses-
October 11th, 2008 at 11:21 PMUsing
Nope. I buy it when I go home on vacation and bring a few cases back since there isn’t anything here worth while.
Yeesh! Where’s “here”?
October 11th, 2008 at 11:28 PMUsing
Downtown.
October 11th, 2008 at 11:37 PMUsing
Sounds like you’re talking about “The Brass Tap”.
October 11th, 2008 at 11:39 PMUsing
Ninety Two! Could have jumped in somewhere around 3 this morning, but thought I’d give it tac-delay. :em95:
October 12th, 2008 at 12:00 AMUsing
Spent some time in Waukegan while stationed at Ft. Sheridan back in ‘81.
93rd
D’
October 12th, 2008 at 12:05 AMUsing
B.C., Imperial Torturer™ sez:
No one should worry Rosie’s Crack Team is On it.
Oh ya 94th
October 12th, 2008 at 2:29 AMUsing
Emperor Misha I sez:
Sire, I post my comment when I open the thing. Then, normally, if I am FOIST I add that with an edit.
October 12th, 2008 at 8:33 AM95th!
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My own personal “First” score is somewhere in the fifties or sixties. I lost count in the forties.
Really, its a tradition of long standing. We should not mess with it.
October 12th, 2008 at 11:30 AMUsing
Heh.
#88
Darth, you nailed downtown Portland, Oregon.
All the hair stood up on the back of my neck when I saw that.
And geez, you guys STILL haven’t hit 100???!!!!
Just lame.
October 12th, 2008 at 11:34 AMUsing
Geez….let you head knockers loose for a minute and it’s Animal House around here. And I don’t do Foists. Just having that number 1 next to my always observant, insightful, witty, and intelligent comments is more than enough.
BWAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! :em01: :em99: :em01:
Oh…and 98th! :em93:
October 12th, 2008 at 12:15 PMUsing
99th
and…………..
October 12th, 2008 at 12:17 PMUsing
100th
I’M not above a little stacking of numbers……..
maybe I should work at ACORN
October 12th, 2008 at 12:18 PMUsing
Ok, one hundred and first???
October 12th, 2008 at 2:40 PMUsing
@ LC Gunsniper:
Yeungling Black and Tan: One of the Lord’s gifts to mankind’s sanity and well-being.
Haven’t had any in 12 years…last time I was back on home turf (near Allentown).
Toured the brewery once—damn near had to be carried home from the Sampling Room… :em03:
LOS!!!!!!!!!!!!
October 12th, 2008 at 2:49 PMUsing
Rurik jumps in with an off topic number. Today is my 38th anniversary of return home from South Viet Nam.
October 12th, 2008 at 4:13 PMTonight the Arrarat Konyak. :em03:
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LC Rurik sez:
Thank You Sir, from a Grateful Nation. :em04:
October 12th, 2008 at 4:42 PMUsing
A hearty, although delayed, Welcome Home and job well done Rurik. Thank you for what you did over there.
October 12th, 2008 at 4:47 PMUsing
Rurik
Let me raise a cold one in the celebration of your return. :em03:
I was only in the 10th grade when you were coming home. It can’t be sadi often enough, “Thanks for your service”. :em04:
October 12th, 2008 at 4:49 PMUsing
Welcome home Rurik,
I was 16 when you came home……I supported you guys then and I support you all now……
October 12th, 2008 at 4:52 PMUsing
@ Special Ed, Half-Vast Conspirator:
October 12th, 2008 at 5:02 PMIf you really wanted to get a rise you should have added “first”
:em01:
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Twerp, Crunchie, SoCalOilMan, Jaybear, and any others,
Thank you. Over the years my feelings about this have evolved, and I hope to post something tomorrow over at my site
Twerp,
Thanks, but grateful nation my ass. Some of you are, and I know who you are because you hang out here, or are busy supporting the troops or being the troops. And to you even greater thanks in return. But we are still a minority.
And BTW - Don’t call me sir. I was enlisted and worked for a living. :em93:
Crunchie,
As the IMH you know better than that. It was a job seriously sodomized - though through no personal fault of my own. Still, we were winning when I left, and at least I kept my own body count even, though I would have preferred if I could’ve had a plus score. :em96:
Its good to be back, at the Rottie, and among like-minded. :em04:
October 12th, 2008 at 6:06 PMUsing
No Rurik, you and the boots on the ground performed magnificently, and you know that. You fought a tough war against a determined and ruthless enemy, and you prevailed on the field of battle. You and your efforts were betrayed here at home. This is where we “lost” Viet Nam, not there.
So I stand by the job well done. You all damn well earned it.
October 12th, 2008 at 7:03 PMUsing
Rurik
What crunch said in #110!!!
I may have only been a dumbass kid during that time, but the draft loomed large in my future and I felt I was going to have to take a stand eventually. While not too sure I wanted to go fight in a war that was winding down (’72), I certainly never looked upon our troops as not doing their job. I blamed Washington for waffling and the asshats that were tearing down the country from within.
October 12th, 2008 at 7:24 PMUsing
LC 0311 crunchie I.M.H. sez:
Ditto that. You can only work with what you have to work with, and you guys did that AND above and beyond. No loss of honor except on the home front, who ought to be forever ashamed of themselves. Never again.
And thanks for your service!
:em04:
October 12th, 2008 at 7:33 PMUsing
Rurik, you guys in Vietnam were kicking ass and taking names.
:em04:
And the Dhimmis were the ones who were stabbing you in the back.
:em72:
I salute you, I set fire to them
October 12th, 2008 at 9:27 PMUsing
Damn Straight.
October 12th, 2008 at 9:27 PMUsing