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Imperial Medicine
Posted by: Emperor Misha I in Blogs and Blogging, Funny Shit, The Obamessiah6:15 PM
…or something like that.
An Alert Lurking Reader (come on in, dear, the water’s nice! 
) tips us off to a site called “M.D.O.D.” I guess that I’m not the only one throwing around mysterious abbreviations with a smug grin on my face. Serves me right. But I, His Imperial Benevolence, forgive them, because those conservative doctors are a hoot and a half.
Take this post, for instance, an interesting dissertation on Altered Mental Status that, if you read it through, isn’t at all going where you think it’s going. Thinking back on the Imperial med school days, I find myself wishing that our textbooks had been written by those guys.
So into the Dept. of Education they go. Along with this doc, who has realized that Marxism is not just for economists anymore. Teaser:
It seems that the sickest 5% of patients are taking up entirely too much of my time, so I’m going to stop giving so much attention to those with heart attacks and strokes. I just want to make sure that everybody who is behind them with chronic back pain or poison ivy, that they’ve got a chance too. They shouldn’t have to wait longer to be seen just because they were triaged to a lower acuity level. My attitude is that if the ER is good for folks from the bottom up, it’s gonna be good for everybody.
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Yes, it is satire. I just had to hold off saying so until the last Obamalyte’s head had exploded. It cracks me up every time.
Welcome to the Empire, gents!
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The sad part is a lot of those back pains and stubbed toes actually think they should be seen in the order they presented regardless who is having a stroke or heart attack.
November 9th, 2008 at 6:43 PMUsing
Both the videos linked by Docsonthe web have already been “disappeared” into the Memory Hole.
The Obots at Youtube are protecting the Dear Leader already.
November 9th, 2008 at 7:29 PMUsing
@ Imperial Librarian Azygos:
Some idiot co-worker of mine got drunk and stuck his arm out in front of a subway train. He was all upset because the emergency room made him wait two whole hours without giving him any drugs.
I guess this guy would have taken him first.
November 9th, 2008 at 11:09 PMUsing
I’ve been reading these guys for a while now. They are a hoot! They get some interesting trolls as well.
November 10th, 2008 at 2:26 AMUsing
It’s funny until it’s put into practice. I’ve been there, done that, having had my tonsils removed in the former USSR. I’d had my share of anesthetic. So what if I woke up prior to surgery? I’d had my dosage. Others needed theirs. So they tied me up with a sheet, forced my mouth open, placed a kidney dish under my chin and began to snip away as I gagged on my own blood while chunks of flesh plopped into the kidney dish.
Universal healthcare indeed… is it time to feed Ohblowme’s face into a cheese grater yet?
Sounds like a fun site, though. I’ll have to check it out, as it’s blocked here at work. *Sigh*
November 10th, 2008 at 6:40 AMUsing
Re Trish @ #3
Hell yes he should have been taken first! “Stoopit” is a medically identifiable condition wherein the affected victim is predisposed to engaging behaviors which when combined in the proper sequence, result in overdose, injury, or ailment of such nature to cause the victim to blame everyone but themselves for their predicament (booze + arm + subway train = bad outcome).
This medical condition must, in all circumstances, take precedence over any and all medical conditions which have a true expectation of causing a poor outcome in someone who seeks healthcare for unrealisitc reasons such as wanting to survive a heart attack, or to be able to eat solid food after having a stroke.
Therefore, it is our duty as enabling members of this society to display unconditional compassion to our victims regardless of the elevation of the Shakespeare Titer or the positive serum porcelain test exhibited by the victim.
BTW, in 24 years of bein an ER nurse, not once have I heard any of these victims utter the magical phrase “I fucked up” as they presented themselves for treatment. Its ALWAYS someone else’s fault. So they sit.
November 10th, 2008 at 7:00 AMUsing
Common sense reduces the argument for socialism to pure idiocy. Unfortunately common sense is severely lacking in today’s world.
November 10th, 2008 at 9:01 AMUsing
That was a cool piece of satire. Note how the leftard fuckups in the comments whine and howl (anonymously, of course) about it.
November 10th, 2008 at 10:08 AMUsing