Once again, authorities have managed to come up with a “solution” to a problem that won’t make a lick of difference while studiously ignoring the very real and simple solution right in front of their beady little Idiotarian eyes.
The problem, in this case, is that the numerous shootings in the
Free Fire “Gun Free Zones” that we sometimes refer to as “schools”, possibly because of the large number of fish swimming around in barrels inside of them, have proven conclusively that even the best-armed campus “security” guards are handicapped by being human, leading to a chronic inability to be everywhere at once, not to mention teleporting to areas that have come under fire from criminals who, oddly enough, persist in ignoring the “No Guns” signs that should, according to Idiotarians everywhere, make them think twice and hand in their weapons.
Gunning down dozens of innocents followed by shooting yourself is one thing. Ignoring a “Gun Free Zone” sign, on the other hand, now THAT is something even a psychotic mass murderer wouldn’t even think about doing. Or so the “reasoning” of GFWs goes.
So what is the “solution?” Why, to provide security guards with “assault rifles”, of course. You know, those evil black rifles that you have to keep under lock and key, lest they crawl out and load themselves up in the middle of the night, followed by an autonomous killing spree.
Police departments at Arizona’s three universities plan to arm their officers with military-style assault rifles within the next year, officials said Tuesday.
The new rifles would give campus police officers long-range shooting capabilities, allowing them to hit targets at the end of long hallways or atop tall buildings, officials said.
Provided that they can hit a barn door at four paces to begin with, of course. Which, judging by what we’ve seen at the range over the years… Let’s just say that we’ve found out that equipping someone with a badge doesn’t automatically endow him with bionic Terminator eyes.
Another requirement would seem to be the cooperation of future shooters in helpfully placing themselves on rooftops, providing the officer with a clear line of sight. Perhaps they could put up some signs directing psychotic mass murderers to do so? That would surely work.
Of course, if said hypothetical gunmen insist on showing up in inconvenient locations such as classrooms and auditoriums, it’s hard for us to imagine how showing up with a rifle five minutes after the shooter has offed himself is going to make a substantial difference from showing up too late armed with a slingshot or a wiffle bat. But, then again, we’re clearly not as brilliant as those government-funded Einsteins.
Arizona State University will be the first of the three schools to use the weapons. Officers there will be trained to use the rifles in the next few months, said ASU police spokesman Cmdr. Jim Hardina.
Officers will undergo 40 hours of training before using the weapons.
“We don’t want to just throw rifles out there,” Hardina said.
You might as well, for all the good it’s going to do you.
Unless, of course, you’re going to make all classes open air and dot the campus with plenty of towers for the officers to shoot from.
What’s next? Tanks? Miniguns? Airstrikes?
Assault rifles are useful in “active shooter” situations in which there may not be time to wait for a SWAT team to arrive on campus, officials said.
Such as every single shooting incident in recorded history. The SWATs are going to be pissed that they’re losing yet another opportunity to dress up in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle gear while terrorizing the local populace. Expect middle of the night no-knock raids at the wrong addresses to increase dramatically in number. Hey, they gotta release that energy some way or the other, no?
They added that the plan has been in the works for a couple of years and is not related to recent shootings on college campuses, including last year’s massacre of 32 students at Virginia Tech by a student with a history of mental illness.
Of course not. No relation at all. Pure coinkydink, we tell you. Could you hang on for a second, please? We’ve got somebody on line 2. Something about a bridge in Brooklyn that’s for sale at a very reasonable price.
Pistols that campus officers currently use aren’t ideal for long shots, said Sgt. Eugene Mejia, UA Police Department spokesman.
“Beyond 50 feet, you lose a lot of accuracy,” Mejia said. “You can take a longer, more accurate shot (with the rifles).”
Rifles are more accurate at long range than handguns? Who’d have thunk? Thank G-d for experts!
Of course, a rifle 400 yards away behind several buildings and dozens of walls isn’t much more accurate than a handgun, but don’t let facts get in the way of a perfectly good fantasy.
ASU officers will store the new guns in their patrol cars while on duty, taking them out only when a situation warrants their use, Hardina said.
Jan Kelly, an ASU faculty member, said she understands why officers have a need for weapons with increased capabilities. She said she feels comfortable with campus officers’ access to the rifles.
But trusting those of your students who have gone through the required background checks, training and tests? Not a chance. Not a chance in HELL!
“I don’t think the police are going to target students,” Kelly said. “If they (the guns) aren’t visible, most won’t really know about them.
“Out of sight, out of mind.” Well, you certainly have the “out of mind” part down to a fine art there.
“Hopefully we’ll never know about them.”
In the mind of the Idiotarian liberal GFW, there’s nothing, NOTHING that can’t be cured if you apply sufficient “HOPE!!!”
Meanwhile, in the real world, somebody has come up with a wonderfully simple idea that would actually WORK.
Which, of course, means that none of the clownshoed clusterfucks in academia are going to pay attention to it.