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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » No, That’s Not Going to Work Either

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Once again, authorities have managed to come up with a “solution” to a problem that won’t make a lick of difference while studiously ignoring the very real and simple solution right in front of their beady little Idiotarian eyes.

The problem, in this case, is that the numerous shootings in the Free Fire “Gun Free Zones” that we sometimes refer to as “schools”, possibly because of the large number of fish swimming around in barrels inside of them, have proven conclusively that even the best-armed campus “security” guards are handicapped by being human, leading to a chronic inability to be everywhere at once, not to mention teleporting to areas that have come under fire from criminals who, oddly enough, persist in ignoring the “No Guns” signs that should, according to Idiotarians everywhere, make them think twice and hand in their weapons.

Gunning down dozens of innocents followed by shooting yourself is one thing. Ignoring a “Gun Free Zone” sign, on the other hand, now THAT is something even a psychotic mass murderer wouldn’t even think about doing. Or so the “reasoning” of GFWs goes.

So what is the “solution?” Why, to provide security guards with “assault rifles”, of course. You know, those evil black rifles that you have to keep under lock and key, lest they crawl out and load themselves up in the middle of the night, followed by an autonomous killing spree.

Police departments at Arizona’s three universities plan to arm their officers with military-style assault rifles within the next year, officials said Tuesday.

The new rifles would give campus police officers long-range shooting capabilities, allowing them to hit targets at the end of long hallways or atop tall buildings, officials said.

Provided that they can hit a barn door at four paces to begin with, of course. Which, judging by what we’ve seen at the range over the years… Let’s just say that we’ve found out that equipping someone with a badge doesn’t automatically endow him with bionic Terminator eyes.

Another requirement would seem to be the cooperation of future shooters in helpfully placing themselves on rooftops, providing the officer with a clear line of sight. Perhaps they could put up some signs directing psychotic mass murderers to do so? That would surely work.

Of course, if said hypothetical gunmen insist on showing up in inconvenient locations such as classrooms and auditoriums, it’s hard for us to imagine how showing up with a rifle five minutes after the shooter has offed himself is going to make a substantial difference from showing up too late armed with a slingshot or a wiffle bat. But, then again, we’re clearly not as brilliant as those government-funded Einsteins.

Arizona State University will be the first of the three schools to use the weapons. Officers there will be trained to use the rifles in the next few months, said ASU police spokesman Cmdr. Jim Hardina.

Officers will undergo 40 hours of training before using the weapons.

“We don’t want to just throw rifles out there,” Hardina said.

You might as well, for all the good it’s going to do you.

Unless, of course, you’re going to make all classes open air and dot the campus with plenty of towers for the officers to shoot from.

What’s next? Tanks? Miniguns? Airstrikes?

Assault rifles are useful in “active shooter” situations in which there may not be time to wait for a SWAT team to arrive on campus, officials said.

Such as every single shooting incident in recorded history. The SWATs are going to be pissed that they’re losing yet another opportunity to dress up in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle gear while terrorizing the local populace. Expect middle of the night no-knock raids at the wrong addresses to increase dramatically in number. Hey, they gotta release that energy some way or the other, no?

They added that the plan has been in the works for a couple of years and is not related to recent shootings on college campuses, including last year’s massacre of 32 students at Virginia Tech by a student with a history of mental illness.

Of course not. No relation at all. Pure coinkydink, we tell you. Could you hang on for a second, please? We’ve got somebody on line 2. Something about a bridge in Brooklyn that’s for sale at a very reasonable price.

Pistols that campus officers currently use aren’t ideal for long shots, said Sgt. Eugene Mejia, UA Police Department spokesman.

“Beyond 50 feet, you lose a lot of accuracy,” Mejia said. “You can take a longer, more accurate shot (with the rifles).”

Rifles are more accurate at long range than handguns? Who’d have thunk? Thank G-d for experts!

Of course, a rifle 400 yards away behind several buildings and dozens of walls isn’t much more accurate than a handgun, but don’t let facts get in the way of a perfectly good fantasy.

ASU officers will store the new guns in their patrol cars while on duty, taking them out only when a situation warrants their use, Hardina said.

Jan Kelly, an ASU faculty member, said she understands why officers have a need for weapons with increased capabilities. She said she feels comfortable with campus officers’ access to the rifles.

But trusting those of your students who have gone through the required background checks, training and tests? Not a chance. Not a chance in HELL!

“I don’t think the police are going to target students,” Kelly said. “If they (the guns) aren’t visible, most won’t really know about them.

“Out of sight, out of mind.” Well, you certainly have the “out of mind” part down to a fine art there.

“Hopefully we’ll never know about them.”

In the mind of the Idiotarian liberal GFW, there’s nothing, NOTHING that can’t be cured if you apply sufficient “HOPE!!!”

Meanwhile, in the real world, somebody has come up with a wonderfully simple idea that would actually WORK.

Which, of course, means that none of the clownshoed clusterfucks in academia are going to pay attention to it.

21 Responses to “No, That’s Not Going to Work Either”
  1. Deathknyte Comment by Deathknyte UNITED STATES

    They wont pay attention to it because their security guards demand rifles. I think they could get by with the hand weapons they already have. What good is a rifle going to do when you have to run out to your cruiser to get it leaving some nutter time to move to another building through a different door?

  2. NR Pax Comment by NR Pax UNITED STATES

    “I don’t think the police are going to target students,”

    Well, I feel relieved already. Of course, if the shooter is a student that might be problematic.

  3. LC Shamalama Comment by LC Shamalama UNITED STATES

  4. L C hilljohnny Comment by L C hilljohnny UNITED STATES

    Shamalama help me out here. what does it mean when your favorite fun-gun is a .22?

  5. Ogrrre Comment by Ogrrre UNITED STATES

    Not every politician is totally stupid. Here in Oklahoma, a Republican state senator has introduced legislation to allow students with Concealed Carry Permits to carry on the campuses (campi?) of the public universities in our state. Certain of the few gun-grabbers in the state legislature immediately soiled their panties, and the administration of Oklahoma State University are “watching this bill with great interest.” There is a chance that sanity may break out in our state once again. After all, we do have a “Shall Issue” concealed carry permit law, a Castle Doctrine Law, and our legislature passed anti-illegal immigration laws that have been held up in federal court. So, maybe Oklahoma is smarter than the average Bearflag Republic. (A Yogi bear reference for you young whippersnappers.)

  6. Nicki Comment by Nicki UNITED STATES

    I’d like to know how military-style rifles given to overweight, donut-chewing rent-a-cops will help after they arrive at the scene and find several festering carcasses, including the shooter’s, who offed himself in the mere minutes it took for the cops to get there…

  7. LC  MuscleDaddy Comment by LC MuscleDaddy UNITED STATES

    The new rifles would give campus police officers long-range shooting capabilities, allowing them to hit targets at the end of long hallways or atop tall buildings, officials said.

    Hmm… useful.

    Apparently, no one bothered looking at the statistics of police/goblin shootouts.

    Back when I was @ the academy, I believe the quote was “average distance of 15 feet”.

    Better to mandate more & better range-time with the sidearms they’ve already got…

    Maybe institute some PT standards…

    Maybe even - I dunno - increase manpower, for increased area coverage - you know, the better to have someone within a respond-able distance?

    No - obviously, I must be insane…. AR15s - with which no-one will adequately familiarize themselves - are clearly the answer. /sarc

    - MuscleDaddy

  8. LC Shamalama Comment by LC Shamalama UNITED STATES

    L C hilljohnny, sounds to me like you’ve got nothing to be ashamed of with no need for any compensation!


    Geez, people, if it still takes 5-10 minutes to arrive on scene, establish a plan, and being looking for the bad guy, then even those overweight, donut-chewing rent-a-cops that have Evil Black Rifles™ are simply going to have to lay them down on the ground in order to stretch out the crime scene tape and begin drawing those nifty chalk outlines.

    These idiots are doing everything they can, and exploring every option known to mankind, EXCEPT the one solution that actually stands a chance of working … allowing the law-abiding students to rely on themselves for their own protection.

    Emperor Misha I: “if said hypothetical gunmen insist on showing up in inconvenient locations such as classrooms and auditoriums …” Give that man a cigar, for he has completely stumped the entirety of the police departments at Arizona’s three universities.

    Jan Kelly, an ASU faculty member, said she understands why officers have a need for weapons with increased capabilities. She said she feels comfortable with campus officers’ access to the rifles. “I don’t think the police are going to target students,” Kelly said. “If they (the guns) aren’t visible, most won’t really know about them. “Hopefully we’ll never know about them.” Geez, Little Snowflake, why on God’s green Earth won’t you apply that very same logic to the student body and their desire to concealed carry themselves? You’re a real whackjob, lady.

    This whole story revolves around using a sniper to take down the bad guy. Can someone please remind me of any situation in recent history where a sniper would have been able to stop the carnage before it escalated? Didn’t most all of the recent events include a single perp that took their time moseying up and down the buildings firing away? Or quickly popping into an auditorium to blow innocent lives away? Which killer stood in open ground, stationary, and opened fire while fully exposing themselves to campus security?



  9. LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech Comment by LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech

    “We don’t want to just throw rifles out there,” Hardina said.

    …when harsh language has worked soo well so far for this individual.

    ( T-short brainfart: Lil’ Ol’ Lady brandishes hogleg “Because begging for your life doesn’t always work!”)

  10. herbstine Comment by herbstine UNITED STATES

    :em41: Ooooh…. Forty whole hours of training. That should make them real dead-eye snipers (sarcasm off). I’ve done a lot of range time, and the group that consitantly pulls the lowest scores are police & security guards. AND,at the ranges a rifle is properly employed, just how exactly are these would-be rambos going to tell which is the legitimate target?

  11. Unregistered Comment by Azygos UNITED STATES

    Here in Arizona there is a bill pending to allow CCW on college campuses. (My friend and coworker already does, shhh) What gd given right does the government have to prevent me from protecting myself or charge me with a crime for doing so?


  12. AyUaxe Comment by AyUaxe UNITED STATES

    Far be it from me to criticize any action that puts mo bigga betta guns in the hands of the law abiding and law enforcing. But what don’t the political and wackademic schmucks not get about the fundamental truism: When seconds count, the police are minutes away (if you’re lucky).

    Unless the new University Sniper Team is on site in the particular classroom or residence hall suite where a shooter goes off, they’re no better than a regular cop carrying a pistol–or a trained, licensed, legally carrying student who is far more likely to be around at the critical time.

  13. LC Gunsniper Comment by LC Gunsniper UNITED STATES

    Great. Now when the police arrive too late to do anything they’ll be quite stylish with a new M-4. :em72:

  14. LC cmblake6 Comment by LC cmblake6

    They just don’t understand. And these are the people educating our children. :em98: Sigh.

  15. Unregistered Comment by Mark6591

    40 hours training? That is hilarious. It takes years to get really good with a rifle.

  16. Anthony L. Comment by Anthony L. UNITED STATES

    Not to mention that govt. officials waltzing around in uniform with long arms begin to look eerily like armed troops, you know, that posse comitatus thing and all. Might not seem like much, but it gives me *serious* reservations as an American citizen that in a so called gun free zone, the only ones with guns are uniformed government officers with rifles.

  17. Unregistered Comment by nonsubhomine UNITED STATES

    Not to get in the way of all the cop bashing here, but what is wrong with giving the officers better tools? I don’t disagree that students should be allowed to carry on campus providing they comply with the other carry laws of the state, but it doesn’t appear that that is about to happen in most states anytime soon. While utilizing patrol rifles may not be the best solution, it IS a step forward - and better to take one small step forward and remain standing than to take a leap forward right off a cliff. For those decrying the amount of training, saying that only 40 hours is not enough, bear in mind that that is an initial training period only. I’m not sure off the top of my head, but I’m relatively sure that at BCT in the U.S. Army, most soldiers don’t get a whole lot more time on target with their rifles. The fact of the matter is that an AR-15 is not a sniper rifle, and is not used as such within the law enforcement community. It is an offensive weapon (as opposed to a sidearm which is traditionally recognized as a defensive weapon) that will penetrate body armor and can be used at more effective distances with greater accuracy. Nothing more, nothing less. Deploying these weapons will not stop college campus or high school campus shootings, and will not turn regular patrol officers into marksman overnight. But it is another tool to be used (just like road flares, pepper spray, and crime scene tape) when the situation warrants it.

  18. Emperor Misha I Comment by Emperor Misha I

    Not to get in the way of all the cop bashing here,

    I wouldn’t dream of bashing cops. Many of my best friends etc. And that’s true, by the way. SWATs and rent-a-cops, however :em02: Sorry, couldn’t help it.

    No, I LOVE cops. The vast majority of the ones I’ve known and know are fine, wonderful people doing a shitty job that they get paid far too little for. When things turn out fine, nobody bothers to thank them because they’re “just doing their jobs” and when things turn to shit, everybody takes a dump on them. When they show up and write somebody a ticket because they’re speeding, they’re bloody nosy busy-bodies who ought to find something better to do, and when they fail to show up within 30 seconds of somebody calling 911, they’re lazy bastards who are never there when you need ‘em.

    Yet they keep on keeping on. Takes a special kind of dedication to do that.

    As to the marksmanship or lack thereof well, my eyes don’t lie. I’m sure that there are some fantastically accurate deadeyes out there, they just happen to shoot somewhere other than the places I go to. They’re human, ’s all, and they’re probably too busy keeping me safe while taking care of their families to spend as much time at the range as I do (or used to do, I haven’t been in a while, he said hanging his head in shame). That doesn’t change the fact that they’re not about to become snipers after 40 hours of training, the very notion is ridiculous, nobody reaches that level that fast. And unless they become super snipers with X-ray vision, then their new shiny black rifles ain’t going to do diddly about the shooting problem on our campuses. They’re just going to be so much more junk cluttering up the trunk.

    Remember, the best gun in the world is the one that you have ON you, cocked and ready to rock. The fanciest of pimped out Gun Pr0n Weekly AR-15s in your trunk is as useless as landing gear on a halibut.

    No, I don’t have a problem with the campus cops getting pretty new ARs, as far as I’m concerned they can rig out their cruisers with twin .50 cals and rocket launchers, no skin off of my nose (but it might just be skin off of the noses of the people paying for the shiny new toys), what I have a problem with is that it isn’t going to do a lick of difference. It’s not going to help a single soul, because by the time they get their Terminator Rifles out of the trunk and waddle on over to the scene, the gunman will have done what he came to do and he’ll have offed himself. And even if they, for the first time in recorded history, SHOULD make it to the scene while they could still do some good, they could’ve done the same good at close range, indoors, with a good old fashioned hog leg on their hips. AND they could’ve been there sooner, rather than wasting time fumbling around with the trunk.

    And close range, indoors, is exactly where it’s at. The only way that I could conceivably see any actual results coming from this asinine proposal is if the goblins suddenly decided to change tactics and chase their prey all over campus in the open, which I find highly doubtful.

    So I don’t have a problem with the cops getting their new rifles. They can have a whole flippin’ arsenal of them as far as I’m concerned. Throw in a pair of Strykers as well.

    What I have a problem with is that this inane, ineffectual nonsense “remedy” is now being presented as if it will actually make a lick of difference which, in turn, will lead to even MORE shootings and even MORE cries of “we’re shocked, SHOCKED, we tell you!” while our young’uns are being slaughtered and the only REAL solution lays around unused.

    Every time you apply a nonsensical non-remedy, it takes that much longer before anybody feels pressured into doing something that actually WORKS.

    And THAT is what I have a problem with. A huge one.

  19. Unregistered Comment by Sunfish UNITED STATES

    In 1999 at Columbine High School, a Jefferson County deputy sheriff on SRO duty actually engaged Fuzznuts and Numbnuts (sorry, but I refuse to use their names.) He damaged one of their weapons from extended range. If he had a rifle available, that event would have been over one hell of a lot earlier.

    Herbstine: 40 hours is the initial training. If the campus is anything like my current PD, there’s regular ongoing training after that. (Admittedly, I can only afford to use full house 5.56 once a month, but I pop in the.22lr kit weekly.)

    LC Muscledaddy: they’re not issuing rifles for the reactive shootings that you and I have been carrying pistols for all this time. The rifles are for the unusual events where extra reach is needed.

    All: how does legalizing private-citizen campus CCW prevent the issuance of rifles, and how does issuing rifles prevent the legislature from legalizing CCW by licensed students and faculty? It seems to me that both should be layers in a defense-in-depth. But I’m just a traffic nazi and former campus cop, and know very little.

  20. Unregistered Comment by nonsubhomine UNITED STATES

    Your Highness,

    As I stated before, I am FOR arming the students, or, at least, not against it - I think that is ultimately the only tactic that ensures that the good guys have weapons at the scene. To be honest, however, I’m not sure why we are not training our students to throw books or backpacks or whatever other improvised weapon they have at the shooter rather than just lying down and waiting to get shot. However, I think there are a couple of tangible benefits that come from this particular “asinine proposal”. The first is body armor. Thankfully, there haven’t been any school shooters in the U.S.A. wearing body armor yet, but I think it really is just a matter of time. Body armor is easy to obtain (at least in my state) and costs less than a nice handgun ($600 will get you a set of great IIIA body armor AND a semi-rigid aramid shock plate that will supposedly stop a 12ga slug from medium range). 9mm and .40 cal ammo just isn’t gonna cut it. Please don’t tell the cops to shoot in the head. They are trained to shoot dead center body mass for several legitimate reasons, and while some ahead of the curve training is teaching officer’s to cope with engaging suspects wearing body armor, most officers still get the old standby that they have been taught for decades. When you are under high stress, you will revert to your training.
    The second reason is distance shots. Now most schools have at least one hallway that extends for 100 ft or more. To engage a target at approximately 35 yds with an AR-15 is not difficult - certainly you don’t need to be a sniper to make the shot at that range. However, the same shot with a side-arm is much more difficult. Most people with any kind of training could hit a man sized target at 35 yds with a 9mm, but doing it while on the move, in a high stress situation, and with other non-valuable targets (ie students trying to escape) that you are trying to miss - well, that would require an excellent shooter.
    Lastly, I think there is a misconception about getting to the weapon. If a call comes out that there is a campus or school shooter, cops are coming out of the car with the rifle - not going into the school, taking a look around, and returning to the cruiser for it. The only thing here I have a problem with is that the patrol rifles will be located in the trunk - there are plenty of mag-lock mounts for AR-15 platforms for rifles to be mounted inside the cruiser that it is just plain stupid to put them where they can’t be as easily accessed. But while stupid, it has the added, ahem, benefit of being more politically correct.

    Times are changing. At Columbine, there were officers on scene while Harris and Klebold were still alive and killing kids. But the cops held exterior and interior perimeter as they were trained to do and ordered to do. This was a SWAT problem, according to the thinking of the day. Since then, police training has shifted to forcing beat cops as first responders to learn some SWAT and high risk entry tactics. Now, it will be the average patrol officer, grouped with a couple of others in a QUAD or diamond entry, going in to engage. Response time will drop - although it will still be way too long, IMHO.

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