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The Useless Nitwits Get Even More Useless
Posted by: Emperor Misha I in Religion of Piss, Useless Nitwits1:24 PM
The U(seless).N(itwits). “Human Rights” Council has now decided that, in the future, any reference to genital mutilations, honor killings and the like are now strictly verboten, since they have to do with “religion.”
GENEVA: Muslim countries have won a battle to prevent Islam from being criticised during debates by the UN Human Rights Council. Religions deserve special protection because any debate about faith is bound to be “very complex, very sensitive and very intense”, council President Doru-Romulus Costea said Wednesday.
…
On Monday Egypt, Pakistan and Iran angrily protested attempts by a humanist group to link Islam to human rights abuses such as female genital mutilation and so-called honour killing of women.
“…and if you don’t quit suggesting that we’re ignorant, savage barbarians, WE’LL KEEL YOU!!!”
Pisslamic pissant subhuman scum.
In fact, now any mention of shariah law is RIGHT OUT when the UN “Human Rights” Council convenes.
The UN Human Rights Council is not allowed to judge religions, according to president Doru Romulus Costea of Romania. Criticism of Sharia or fatwas in particular is now forbidden.
Which really is awfully convenient, since pretty much every single actual human rights offense in that particularly fetid shit heap part of the world is directly tied to their practice of the religion of piss, meaning, of course, that now the UNHRC aren’t allowed to discuss pisslamic human rights abuses.
Our comment?
A picture says more than a thousand words:
Thatisall.
Entries (RSS)
The good news is The Useless Nitwits can’t complain about our religious beliefs either. The bad news is The UN’s religious beliefs include raping children.
June 19th, 2008 at 1:39 PMUsing
Misha
If you don’t get your fatwa for THAT picture, it’s NEVER gonna happen…
Mope,
Christians are always fair game. It’s everyone else who’s off-limits.
June 19th, 2008 at 1:44 PMUsing
Paper tiger.
June 19th, 2008 at 1:48 PMUsing
UUUUULLLLLLLAAAA UUUUUULLLLLLAAAA UUUUUULLLLLLAAA!
Im thinking we need to start a “new” religion (well basically an offshoot of christianity)
Basic tenents (after the usual top ten)
1 All muslims are evil and deserve to die.
2 If you kill a muslim you get a free pass to heaven
3 Heaven has booze, guns, and any other earthly desire (as long as you stick to rule 2)
4 ????
Gotta find a figurehead though… someone charismatic, used to public speaking
June 19th, 2008 at 2:21 PMNeed a few writers too, gotta add some “lost” chapters to the bible….
Gotta come up with a way to “find” the lost chapters….. never mind we’ll claim the writers were touched by divine providence, and maketh them Saints. ….. yeak….. Saint Jackboot, Saint Jaybear, Saint Crunchie…. :em95:
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Don’t forget Saint B.C. He can do a portrait of the charismatic leader. :em04: :em03:
June 19th, 2008 at 2:42 PMUsing
I’m in….
June 19th, 2008 at 2:46 PMUsing
#4 72 Hooters girls waiting for you in heaven to take care of your every need. Girls, there will be 72 Chippendale men… excuse me, 72 STRAIGHT Chippendale men will be waiting for you! :em93:
June 19th, 2008 at 3:07 PMUsing
St. Crunchie…
How about St. Larry the Cable Guy?
L.E. :em93:
June 19th, 2008 at 3:36 PMUsing
DOH,
Troy that post was directed at you.
L.E. :em41:
June 19th, 2008 at 3:37 PMUsing
Well he IS the one with the Magnificent Ass™. :em01:
Major, there are no straight Chippendale Men. :em99:
Have a SEAL Team waiting for me. :em95:
June 19th, 2008 at 3:38 PMUsing
Can a undecided joooish person like me join? :em41:
June 19th, 2008 at 3:45 PMUsing
Seriously, I bet that it would still be okay to insult jews and christians, because we are aggressors :em98:
June 19th, 2008 at 3:45 PMUsing
LC Mrs. M-ITT™-Imperial Sniper
In Heaven, EVERYTHING is possible! :em93:
June 19th, 2008 at 3:56 PMUsing
A jooish jewess? Why certainly! We accept all that are willing to open mind and find it in thier hearts that GOD really really wants you to kill ALL muslims. And of course make a small finacial contribution (just so we can handle “administrative” costs ya know).
now I have to go find some “sacred” artifacts…. Im thinking the blessed Bushmaster, and the sacred Springfield …. think of it…. firearms training and practice could be a religious “rite” …. hmmmm this is starting to sound good….
June 19th, 2008 at 3:58 PMUsing
Of COURSE!
It’s a really nifty religion we’re building here. The most nifty thing being, of course, that we’ll just keep adding new tenets to it as we go along, said tenets always happening to be in perfect harmony with whatever the Hell we want to be doing at the time. Nuke Iran? No problem, we’ll say that our chosen deity (or one of his or her angels) appeared to us in a dream and commanded us to do so. And, hey presto, it’s a “religious issue” and therefore off limits for anybody to as much as question.
Speaking of which: The other night St. Sharp of the Holy Razor Wire appeared to me in a dream, stating that it was G-d’s will that we go wrap the genitals of paleosimians in St. Sharp’s Most Holy Implement and proceed to pull them after our SUVs. Really!
What’s that, Mr. UNHRC director? I’m being “brutal and inhumane?” Shut up, you, you BIGOT!!! You do not have the qualifications to debate matters of deep, religious significance to me.
June 19th, 2008 at 4:00 PMUsing
Im telling you this is damn near the perfect scam… er uh I mean … I have had a REVELATION AH! GOD had spoken to me and told me to be part of this “awakening”. He also said that I shouldnt pay taxes cause Im senior “member” of the church. He has also told me that the Church needs to be situated inside the “Holy Compound” (note to self …. find a suitable site , preferably with its own water source, and on high ground)
June 19th, 2008 at 4:21 PMUsing
You know, if they are really going to be fair about this, then they need to consider letting atheists get a pass as well.
June 19th, 2008 at 4:21 PMUsing
TROY !!!! -
…mheh…a fine start, but you’re a bloody heathen if you don’t produce an artifact of oh say, Swiss, German or Belgian descent. The Holiest of Long-Arms artifacts being Ludymylla or one of her teutonic relatives and a large caliber Sig-Sauer and HK pistol.
I submit St. Crunchie of the Pink-Pony Bath House & Magnificent Ass™ as first for beatification.
:em01:
June 19th, 2008 at 4:23 PMUsing
I feel a Photoshop coming on!
:em03:
June 19th, 2008 at 4:32 PMUsing
Mindy-
You’d have to shoot a mooselimb- think of it as baptism by firing.
Do Joooish peoples have baptism? Oh well, you get the idea.
I insist beer take the place of wine. :em03: :em03:
I hope this new religion doesn’t kill the offset business.
June 19th, 2008 at 4:47 PMUsing
JB… how about the Holy H&K MP7?
Mope .. we could be like the French “Clergy” instead of making wine, we could brew our own BEER.
Now I need a name for this religion…. Church of the Imperial….. or Imperial Church of the …. gotta find a way to get the word “Templar” in there…. what else…. still mising something…….???
Imperial Church of the Renewed Templars….
Church of the Imperial Renewed Templars…
June 19th, 2008 at 5:10 PMUsing
You realize, that the New, Improved Imperial Religion requires. . . .
. . . A Book of Armaments.
June 19th, 2008 at 5:10 PMUsing
Gonna need a symbol too…….. IMPERIAL PHOTOSHOPPER NEEDED OVER HERE.
June 19th, 2008 at 5:15 PMUsing
Oh .. I missed something…..
Correction JB….. I WAS a bloody heathen …. not anymore for I have seen the LIGHT! PRAISE AH! And HOLY HAND GRENADES!
June 19th, 2008 at 5:20 PMUsing
I move we appoint Bacon Lord High Inquisitor.
June 19th, 2008 at 5:22 PMUsing
I like the sound of Saint Jackboot and Saint Crunchie, but I gotta pass on the Sainthood…..
After all……..I’m already a Colonel :em93:
look for a photoshop of our patron saint after I get a little work done…… :em69:
June 19th, 2008 at 5:39 PMUsing
I’ll ask for an Imperial dispensation for Puss™, Miss. Priss™, and Madame Mata Hari™ (when she finally arrives).
Hey Crunchie…how would that look picked out in hot pick on the stock? :em95:
Just make sure the shooting tower is air conditioned. Imperial Snipers™ need a good field of view. :em93:
June 19th, 2008 at 5:47 PMUsing
Ummm… Snipers are different than Defensive Marksman. Im sorry Mrs. M.. but we need our shooters out deliverying the holy spirit (in the form of your favorite calber) to the muzzies. You do however need to identify your spotter (and no you cannot pick Sir Crunchie of the “magnificent ass”)
June 19th, 2008 at 5:55 PMUsing
Be Back Later folks our oldest (17) has a softball game. ….. Thats considered a fair warning.. :em95:
June 19th, 2008 at 5:56 PMUsing
Indeed. I’m in. Get this thing sorted and AWA-A-A-A-Y we go! And I’m very good at “long-distance”! Smiting from on high, as it were.
June 19th, 2008 at 6:09 PMUsing
first shot at a portrait of our patron saint:
now I gotta get back to work brothers and sisters
June 19th, 2008 at 6:32 PMUsing
woops…..
screwed up the link.
June 19th, 2008 at 6:33 PMUsing
Outstanding photo of B. Hussein! :em01:
June 19th, 2008 at 6:56 PMUsing
LC Salgak
That’s fuckin awesome. The Holy Hand Grenade. :em01: I love Monty Python.
June 19th, 2008 at 7:14 PMUsing
Ah but to form this religion thou shalt answer these questions three.
What is your name?
What is your quest?
What……….is the land speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
June 19th, 2008 at 7:17 PMUsing
TT-
How about “The Church of the Imperial Bullet to the Mooselimbs Templar”?
Instead of tithing 10%, all must tithe bullets! Pass the basket!
June 19th, 2008 at 7:19 PMUsing
Comment by LC cmblake6
I wouldn’t call it “smiting,” more like “sanctification by holy missile” before the target… uh, Heathen Muzzie sins further in his bastard religion. In essence, you are saving him from an eternity with 72 syphilitic pig-cows of Muhammad. How nice of you!
June 19th, 2008 at 7:24 PMUsing
Jaybear!
Where did you get that? Can anyone put anything on those tablets? :em95:
June 19th, 2008 at 7:24 PMUsing
Name…
How about The Imperial Templar Church of the Ballistic Coefficient?
The Imperial Templar Church of Righteous Indignation?
The Imperial Templar Church of Babes Booze and Bullets?
June 19th, 2008 at 7:35 PMUsing
And let us not forget Blessed Saint John Moses Browning. Who hath given us the Holy 1911 and the High Holy Ma Duce.
Haj killers of the greatest order.
June 19th, 2008 at 8:03 PM:em95: :em04: :em96:
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Lady H asks
I made it by my little self…..if you have Photoshop CS1 or later I can send you the .psd file complete with text masks and text effects and you can do it yourself :em93:
June 19th, 2008 at 8:16 PMUsing
Jay I’m way too lazy to do all that can’t you just put on “thou shalt watch Scrubs” on it for me? :em69: :em03:
June 19th, 2008 at 8:18 PMUsing
Sorta like this Mrs. M.
As to the name, St. Crunchie of the Pink Bath House or whatever sayeth;
June 19th, 2008 at 8:28 PMImperial Debauch of Alcohol Tobacco Firearms and Explosives™. May be some minor copyright issues with some fed types, but I’m sure we can convert them.
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Nothing but the finest for the bathrooms.
June 19th, 2008 at 8:36 PMUsing
Having been excommunicated again, I’ve been told I should be an Alcoholic. Reason being, I am restless, irritable, and dissatisfied. Aren’t we all? And I stated in a previous post, “tell me those things you cannot live without. They are your gods.” The Church repealed the Doctrine of Free Will and installed determinism in its place. Free Will comes from God, not the clergy. That gift from the Father must be reaffirmed. Now let’s have some fun.
June 19th, 2008 at 8:48 PMI was Primate of another pseudo-church which is defunct. Having been there I submit for your approval.
We are an Empire. So we require a Pantheon. You guys can’t be saints because you’re still alive. And a requirement of sainthood is purported authorship of miracles after death. Sorry. Along with your Imperial Titles shall you then be created deities within the Rottiement. I claim none, save that of Venerable scribe. Our beliefs will be recorded in the Rotten Vulgate. There will be other Holy Books: the Litany of Loads, The Sightings, The Mixology, The Drills, and the ToRott. Wherefor shall be recorded the first events witnessed; the squirming Bush, the sins of McCain, and the casting out of the Hillerites. We will establish Shrines of Freedom everywhere we celebrate any sacrament to initiate, commune, and confirm. All this to be put to the Imperial Council. I await further e-pistles.
Gratia Rottias
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Is that a European or African swallow?
June 19th, 2008 at 8:49 PMUsing
Azygos
I don’t know that……………AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
June 19th, 2008 at 9:07 PMUsing
I knew this one hotty European girl once.. she swa…what? Monty who?
ohhh. nevermind…
crunchie.. I gots some gun black I can donate if you want to fix that….please…
June 19th, 2008 at 9:13 PMUsing
If yall are starting your own religion the I shall start my own as well. I’m gonna make the Church of Scrubs.
:em01:
That’s so funny.
June 19th, 2008 at 9:15 PMUsing
Who says our Saints cant be alive? Its our religion and we can determine the criteria for all persons without adhereing to “older” less “progressive” Churchs :em01:
See thats the problem with other religions you cant get close to the important figures. In our religion our Saints are alive and approachable, still willing to teach the “unitiated”.
Cur I think you should be the scribe. That was one helluva post back there.
June 19th, 2008 at 9:38 PMUsing
Hey SL … which one of those guys on scrubs are you in love with? I have a friend out in LALA land that could probably hook you up. I hear those guys are out of work, and have lots of time on their hands….. BTW you got 3K?
June 19th, 2008 at 9:41 PMUsing
[...] you think I’m pissed about this - check out what the emperor has to say about it: The Useless Nitwits Get Even More Useless SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: “When are we going to kick out the U.N.?”, url: [...]
June 19th, 2008 at 9:43 PMUsing
Curmudgeon, as a new Religion, we do not need to be bound to the doctrines and definitions of the Catholic Church in re the qualifications of sainthood. It’s our Church, so we get to
June 19th, 2008 at 9:48 PMmake upuh, have revealed unto us our own Doctrines and DefinitionsApparently Terrible Troy and I are of the same mind on this issue.
Another Holy Sacrement of the Church of the Holy Templars etc, etc, should be the collection, shredding, and sending via parcel post to the Mooselimb Asswipe (Piss Be Upon Him) in charge of Shredding Bibles in Saudi Arabia, of all copies of The Q’uran as Revealed by Shaitan to the Most Unholy Pedophile and Goat Philcher Mohammed
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TerribleTroy
I’ll never tell, lolz.
I don;t get it.
June 19th, 2008 at 9:58 PMUsing
You are a female right? You need 3K cause thats the going rate for out of work “actors & actresses”
June 19th, 2008 at 10:12 PMUsing
TerribleTroy
Nope, I was being sarcastic because I thought you were making a joke at my expense. I just happen to love the show. As for being “in love with any of the characters I would say it’s a tie between Carla the nurse and that chick JD knocks up. She looks sexy as hell as a preggo chick.
June 19th, 2008 at 10:28 PMUsing
Hey, Boss, did you catch what else the UN is up to? 9/11 an inside job :em12: :em72: John Bolton ripped him a new one. :em99:
June 19th, 2008 at 10:35 PMUsing
SL Dude I was just bustin your chops. I know your a guy, in the army, serving as a medic. Soon to be deployed to afshitistan and already been to the sand box.
Just messing with ya…… besides I figured you’de go for THE Todd.. :em01:
June 19th, 2008 at 10:42 PMUsing
TerribleTroy
Oh I know. :em01: That’s why my response was awesome.
:em38: Aw cmon, even if I did swing that way I wouldn;t go for the Todd. I’d like to think I have better taste than that. :em01:
June 19th, 2008 at 10:55 PMUsing
Iran has shown signs that it is taking the Israeli warnings seriously, by beefing up its air defenses in recent weeks, including increasing air patrols. In one instance, Iran scrambled F-4 jets to double-check an Iraqi civilian flight from Baghdad to Tehran.
F-4s??? Don’t get me wrong, i LOVE the looks and capabilities of the Phantom, but against the armada that Israel has in store for them?!??!!?!!
June 19th, 2008 at 10:56 PMUsing
F-4 is a beautiful bird, unfortunatly the F-16 would paint it and kill it quick fast and in a hurry. And I’de be willing to bet that the average Israeli pilot is as good or better than the best Iranian pilot out there.
June 19th, 2008 at 11:13 PMUsing
Misha,
You need to apologize for defiling that pig.
June 19th, 2008 at 11:14 PMUsing
didn’t we give the Shah a bunch of F14’s??? I know that we stopped supplying Iran with spare parts for them but I would think that they would be in better condition than a bunch of older Phantoms…..
June 19th, 2008 at 11:32 PMUsing
Southern Libertarian
You asked for it:
Hey, did you say that you were down at Ft. Hood? I spent a lot of time there in the 90’s working with 2nd Armored and 1st Cav. Which units are there now? 4th ID???
June 19th, 2008 at 11:39 PMUsing
For those (like me) that are boycotting You Screw’d for whatever reasons… And since Fanusi mentioned “The Bright Side”…
June 20th, 2008 at 4:15 AMUsing
[...] sure they’ll be glad to put things off-limits for Christians and Jews then too, right? [...]
June 20th, 2008 at 7:57 AMUsing
An abuse of human rights is an abuse of human rights, no matter the reason!
June 20th, 2008 at 10:38 AMUsing
beer?, wine?, i demand Bushmills for the sacrament!!!
June 20th, 2008 at 11:42 AMUsing
Well if you insist. *gathers up sunscreen, Pork Fat Bullet Lubricant™, and Gatorade*
Damn.
Ok…got another in mind that I know has had some experience with such situations. (and his ass is pretty damn good to) :em95:
You up for it Vulcanrider? :em93: :em04:
June 20th, 2008 at 12:54 PMUsing
Jaybear, the Tomcats that Iran have are sorely in need of parts, especially electronical ones.
June 20th, 2008 at 1:28 PMLast I heard they were using them as we use E-2’s in the surveillance role since their fire control capabilities were for the most part gone.
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Jay
We got 4ID,1 Cav, 3ACR(I was with them back when they were at Carson) and a brigade of the 1ID. That’s all I can think of off the top of my head.
BTW, thanks for the “Thou Shalt Watch Scrubs” tablet. Appreciate it. :em69: :em03:
June 20th, 2008 at 2:41 PMUsing
Name Name Name… gotta come up with a name for our church……
Imperial Templar Church of the Righteous Citizens…
Church of the Imperial Templars ….
Church of the New Imperial Templars…
Any other ideas? Im leaning toward number 3
June 20th, 2008 at 3:36 PMUsing
Southern Libertarian
Does Col. H.R. Mc Master still command 3ACR? One of the projects I worked on for the Army War College was a VR/Real Time simulation of the action he led at the battle of 73 Easting as a Captain and TC. We worked with him and the rest of the armored crews to re-create every maneuver they performed and every vehicle/hostile that they killed. We plugged in what if scenarios, like what if the Republican Guards counter attacked etc….etc…. I got to meet him at one of the project reviews, now THAT was an awesome experience.
Every once in a while, either the History Channel or the Military Channel televise a show on tank crew training and they show computer animations of M1 tanks rolling around blowing the shit out of things….that’s my work, models…animations…weapons effects…everything. That was one hell of a fun job, especially all the time I spent in the field with the armored guys.
June 20th, 2008 at 8:27 PMUsing
We can be ARMISH.
June 21st, 2008 at 12:11 AMUsing
I suppose I could get the ruck and the spotting scopes back out, clean the SKS and the Smith, and sacrifice my shooting ability to spot for the Imperial Sniper.
And I’ll pass on the “ass” comment…
June 21st, 2008 at 4:13 PMUsing
A few possibly relevant ideas:
In a nod to old literary traditions we might structure the proposed institution after Arthur’s Round Table or–the Continental version–Charlemagne & his Twelve Noble Peers, obviously looking back to JC & the Apostles. That would give the Emp an inner circle of a dozen big shots. Of course, competition might be fierce, so he may want to expand the number. (In Charlie’s case they were also called “Paladins,” but I know we already have at least one Paladin.) Another means of limiting high office in Mischa’s “Church” would be to sell positions (gadzooks–would that be simony?).
My brother’s long said a privately-run religion would be a great way to raise money–for the founders!
June 21st, 2008 at 5:00 PMUsing
This is a revelation? Can you say Scientology? Your brother is absolutely correct, and here’s just one example…
June 22nd, 2008 at 6:53 AMUsing
LC Major, Sir, I am really not into those. Would you make mine Rangers and IDF, pretty please? I am certain other GLORs will support me in this.
June 22nd, 2008 at 9:15 AMUsing
First Church of The Dogs of War
Temple of The Flaming Sword
KYFHO
Brother Billy Bob’s Bar and Grill (gator b.b.q. every Saturday nite, communion every Sunday morning)
June 22nd, 2008 at 10:40 AMUsing
Comment by Princess Natasha
All things are possible in Heaven! If it is Rangers and IDF Studmuffins thou desire-est then, behold! Thou shalt have them in numbers thou scarcely imagineth! They shall tickleth thy fancy, and thy fancy shall runneth over! :em93:
Troy -> The Imperial Templar Church of the Ballistic Coefficient “Fucketh with us and thou shalt regretteth thy birth!” :em96:
June 22nd, 2008 at 1:09 PMUsing
Yay! I can have IDF and Rangers in unimaginable numbers! Sounds like Heaven to me! :em03:
June 22nd, 2008 at 2:19 PMUsing
Yes YOU CAN! Natasha… which gets me to thinking about my heavenly reward (since I am a big wig) in the development of this new religion…..
So why have limits? 72, 89, 240, …. Im thinking as many as you can possibly handle.
June 22nd, 2008 at 5:25 PMUsing